According to England Manager Gareth Southgate after Sunday's win against Croatia, Harry Kane "is the best goal scorer in the world. If only he could do it when it really matters". Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has sanctioned funds for the Mag...
International breaks, when all top-flight and Championship football is put on hold for two weeks because of upcoming national team fixtures, are to be scrapped, after it was discovered that supporters absolutely fucking hate them. The breaks were...
The Special One, watching a video of a young goalkeeper being pushed back into his goal by his dad as the ball rolled towards the empty net, has decided the boy has 'special talents', just like him, and has signed him! The dad, a staunch Liverpoo...
World War 1 is an evocative and mysterious war. The dark trenches, the stench of death, the rattle of bullets, the endless referees' whistles, the thwack of metal boot on leather, the cheeky banter of the chants. The war was technically won by the...
There'll be a lot at stake when the two teams take the field in Sunday's Premier League encounter between Manchester City and Manchester United at the City of Manchester Stadium, not least the three points the victors will attain at the end of the co...
West Ham is thinking of signing 31-year-old former Arsenal and Manchester City midfielder Samir Nasri. The French international is a free agent after serving an 18-month drugs ban. A club officlal defended the idea, saying "the London Taxpayers' Stad...
Female admirers of Leicester City and England defender, Harry Maguire, have reacted angrily to the news that he is not to be considered for inclusion on the new £50 note. Maguire, 24, was England's hero at the World Cup in Russia, and fairer-sex v...
Neil Ruddock, the former Liverpool defender, has spoken out on his views about greed, saying that, "if only people held back and dealt with things sensibly and in proportion, the world would be a much better place to live". Ruddock, 50, and a righ...
Former England and Tottenham manager Glenn Hoddle has been "overwhelmed" by the support shown for him since falling ill on Saturday. His family denies that Hoddle's heart attack has anything to do with god and Hoddle's views on the disabled that "Som...
A footballer who does not wear a poppy to mark Remembrance Day, is to not wear a poppy to mark Remembrance Day, again. Stoke City player James Mclean, an Irish Republican, has never worn the club shirt of whom he plays for, with the poppy design e...
Tottenham Hot Spur Titans suffered a defeat at the hands of Man Chester City Marlins at Wembley Stadium last night in a bizarre and low-scoring contest. Running Line Forward, Riyadh Mahrez, got the only score for the Marlins, as the game ended, in...
The twelve boys who were rescued after becoming trapped in a cave in Thailand in July, have been invited to today's Premier League match between Manchester United and Everton at Old Trafford, and have been warned to stay in their seats. The boys,...
Manchester United legends Paul Scholes and Rio Ferdinand have again been reminiscing fondly of bygone times following a football match. Now BT Sport pundits, the pair were commenting on Juventus' 1-0 victory at Old Trafford in the Champions League...
Various news sources are this morning reporting that former World and Olympic sprint champion, Usain Bolt, has joined the League Two strugglers, Grimsby Town. The Jamaican 100m world record holder flew into Humberside Airport this morning, and, su...
The news that the government has reversed its decision to scrap the £50 note, has met with cheer, and a call from football fans to include upon the note the face of England player, Harry Maguire, the team's hero at the Russia World Cup. The note...
London, UK - There are reports this weekend that the self-styled Houdini-artiste may have ‘faked’ his disappearance at a Turkish bath somewhere in The Phosphorous - eh, Bosphorus - a bit like Lord Lucan in 1974. The news comes amid ‘sightings’ of...
You remember the days when managers had real football names? Ron, Gordon, Harry, Joe. What do we have now? Maurizio, Marco, Rafael, Nuno, Jose, even bloody Claude. Do me a favour. Where have they all gone? The Spoof has complied a list of favourites and rogues: Mike Bassett, England Manager. Erm, yes we know he doesn't actually exist apart from in the 2001 mockumentary of the same name where...
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