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Funny satire stories about Rob Pattinson

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Funny story: Local Man Mistaken For Robert Pattinson

Local Man Mistaken For Robert Pattinson

For local man, Martin Shuttlecock, it should have been a routine visit to the local supermarket to stock up on winter essentials. Being a sensible individual, Shuttlecock dressed sensibly in his best winter attire, topped off with a woolly hat and a...

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Funny story: Zac and Vanessa Invite Kristen and Robert To Their Luxurious Resort In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

Zac and Vanessa Invite Kristen and Robert To Their Luxurious Resort In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens have invited Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to visit them in their luxurious Mexican mansion resort located down in Cabo San Lucas, Baja California. Efron and Hudgens have leased the man...

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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Buys Robert Pattinson A Texas Cattle Ranch

Kristen Stewart Buys Robert Pattinson A Texas Cattle Ranch

LAREDO, Texas - Kristen Stewart recently flew down to Texas and checked out some South Texas ranches that she had seen for sale on eBay. She stated that she knows how much her Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson loves to do the "Cowboy Thing" so she...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Kristy Stewart Reveal Secret Of The "Twilight" Series

Robert Pattinson, Kristy Stewart Reveal Secret Of The "Twilight" Series

A major secret on the set of the Twilight movies is something most producers and directors may have never tried, according to two of it's star's, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. "If you noticed the shocked expressions on some of our faces it...

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Funny story: 'Twilight' Movies Really Good - Pattinson And Stewart Excellent - Gervais And Dee

'Twilight' Movies Really Good - Pattinson And Stewart Excellent - Gervais And Dee

It was something of a surprise when British comedians Ricky Gervais and Jack Dee - both renowned for their sardonic wit - came out unanimously in support of the Twilight movies starring teen heart-throbs Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Speak...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Chips Tooth On A Hair, Apparently

Robert Pattinson Chips Tooth On A Hair, Apparently

According to his Twilight Series: Eclipse co-star, Bryce Dallas Houston Howard, Robert Pattison, the British James Dean(?), chipped a tooth while flossing. Bryce revealed the information after New York, New York Magazine asked her about the big sc...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Punched In The Face By War Veteran

Robert Pattinson Punched In The Face By War Veteran

Reports are surfacing that a disgruntled West (By God) Virginia resident, the renowned war veteran and feeble humourist Frankie the J punched Twilight star Rob Pattinson in the face when the teen idol visited a West (By God) Virginia hospital on a go...

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Funny story: Kristen Stewart: Robert Pattinson Can Kiss, Or Bite, My Ass!

Kristen Stewart: Robert Pattinson Can Kiss, Or Bite, My Ass!

After Robert Pattison has been seen recently with another Twilight star, Ashley Greene, Kristen Stewart reportedly stated that Pattinson could kiss her ass. "Better yet, he can bite it." In response to the report, Pattinson was said to have sta...

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Funny story: Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner Announce Break Up

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner Announce Break Up

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner have announced that they have ended their relationship and are no longer a couple. The two recently won several polls on which new celebrity couple would be together the longest, but it was not to be. When asked fo...

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Funny story: Ashley Greene & Robert Pattinson Fight After Being Named In Top Ten Most Beautiful People Of Decade

Ashley Greene & Robert Pattinson Fight After Being Named In Top Ten Most Beautiful People Of Decade

Two of the stars of the Twilight movie series, Ashley Greene & Robert Pattinson have made it into the top ten "Beautiful People Of The Decade" in the Hollywood Beacon Gazette that allowed it's readers to choose. The two vamps have also been se...

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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Nude Poolside Photos "Genuine"

Rob Pattinson Nude Poolside Photos "Genuine"

A set of nude photographs featuring Twilight teen idol Rob Pattinson have had their authenticity confirmed by the heart throb's one time neighbour, Steven Toolbox. "It's the real deal," Toolbox told us. "It was an uncharacteristically warm day her...

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Funny story: Kristen Stewart Has The Hots For Taylor Lautner

Kristen Stewart Has The Hots For Taylor Lautner

The big secret among those on the inside of the Twilight series is that Kristen Stewart no longer has eyes or sighs for Robert Pattinason but for fellow actor, Taylor Lautner. "I don't want to be identified", stated a disguised voice over the tele...

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Funny story: Eclipse Movie Different Than Book Version

Eclipse Movie Different Than Book Version

In the book, the story opens with the revelation that Seattle, Washington is being plagued by a string of unsolved murders, which Edward suspects is caused by a new vampire that is unable to control its thirst for human blood. As Edward and Bella app...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson And Miley Cyrus Guest At Bonkettes Hollywood Bowl Gig

Robert Pattinson And Miley Cyrus Guest At Bonkettes Hollywood Bowl Gig

It was the hottest ticket in tinseltown, the legendary girl band the Bonkettes live at the Hollywood Bowl. It was chaos from the start as the girls took the stage, only to be bombarded by a blizzard of soiled underwear by their adoring legions of...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Arrested In New York As Kristen Rushes To Help!

Robert Pattinson Arrested In New York As Kristen Rushes To Help!

It has been confirmed that Robert Pattinson, yes THE Robert Pattinson has been arrested in New York City overnight because of identity theft. "Of all things", Pattinson told reporters early today, myself among them, "I get arrested for attempting...

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Funny story: Lautner and Pattinson In Fight Over Swift Remark

Lautner and Pattinson In Fight Over Swift Remark

Although no one is talking about it, there was a report this morning that after a little celebrating over the success of the Twilight New Moon movie, Rob Pattinson gave an offhand joke about Lautner and Taylor Swift that Lautner took offense to. "...

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Funny story: The Black Eyed Peas Say Robert Pattinson's Black Eye Is Nothing To Do With Them

The Black Eyed Peas Say Robert Pattinson's Black Eye Is Nothing To Do With Them

A spokesman for The Black Eyed Peas tonight denied that the band had anything to do with Twilight star Robert Pattinson's 'alleged' black eye. "If he's got a black eye, it was nothing to do with the band," the spokesman told us. "Just because they...

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