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Funny satire stories about Police

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Funny story: Wiltshire police to charge door frame with assault of woman in custody

Wiltshire police to charge door frame with assault of woman in custody

A Wiltshire door frame is expected to be charged with the actual bodily harm of a woman in custody after a policeman previously imprisoned for the act, was found not guilty on appeal. Sgt Mark Andrews, of Wiltshire Police, was filmed ushering Pame...

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Funny story: Soiled Panties Sex Scam Operation Busted

Soiled Panties Sex Scam Operation Busted

The police were reportedly jubilant today after successfully busting a sex scam operation based in an industrial unit in Acton. Officers - many in full riot gear - burst into the industrial unit at 09:28 this morning and immediately put a stop to...

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Funny story: Student Protestors arrested

Student Protestors arrested

It was hardly Tianaman Square, but as the police had vowed to arrest anyone who committed a crime, as opposed to their usual approach which is to arrest anyone who commits a crime, the ringleaders for the Student Riots at Tory headquarters in London...

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Funny story: Hollywood running out of police cars

Hollywood running out of police cars

The American film industry is facing something of crisis. So many recent films have required scenes in which the American police showcase their poor driving skills by crashing into just about anything stationary or moving that they are running out of...

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Funny story: Mel Gibson Divorces Himself; Claims Irreconcilable Differences

Mel Gibson Divorces Himself; Claims Irreconcilable Differences

Former actor, bigot, hot head and for some unknown reason that defies a rational explanation, sex symbol, Mel Gibson has decided to file divorce papers against himself in Los Angeles County claiming irreconcilable differences. Following another da...

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Funny story: Police Hunt Supermarket Trolleys

Police Hunt Supermarket Trolleys

There has been mixed reaction to the news that police officers have been out rounding up supermarket trolleys. Officers managed to recover 43 in a joint operation with council officials in Sheerness, Kent. Some locals have branded the mission a...

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Funny story: Scottish Police Call for More Women Shooters

Scottish Police Call for More Women Shooters

Scottish police have called for more female officers to carry guns. At the moment it is mainly the men who are called upon to whip their weapons out and shoot at passers by. Under new Sex Equality Laws men will be able to be shot dead by either ma...

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Funny story: Police officer jailed for vicious assaults on partygoers

Police officer jailed for vicious assaults on partygoers

Just in from our Castlemaine XXXX sponsored correspondent in Australia: A Queensland police officer, Senior Cunstable Fred Fascist-Bastard, has been jailed for the rest of his natural life, with forced transportation to England, where he will be hand...

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Funny story: 18-inch sex toy found in arrested man's pants!

18-inch sex toy found in arrested man's pants!

Louisville, UNITED STATES: In the land of the free Louisville Metro Police spotted a Louisville male, strolling about the place with a large bulge in his pants. Officers stopped the Louisville man and patted him down. They discovered the huge...

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Funny story: Doggers get police protection

Doggers get police protection

Police officers around the UK have been given guidelines to help them protect people who engage in dogging from hate crimes. Chief Superintendent Phil McCavity, from Burgess Hill police station said, "Having sex in public places is only a crime w...

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Funny story: Police Chief Warns of Increase in Cyber Crime

Police Chief Warns of Increase in Cyber Crime

A police commissioner has warned that there will definitely be an increase in cyber crime both this year and next. Even as he spoke, somebody had stolen 4 laptops from his office. "Obviously, this proves a point!" he said. In Seine News found out...

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Funny story: Criminals to be arrested by e-mail

Criminals to be arrested by e-mail

The Home Office announced today that in a major cost-cutting drive criminals are now to be arrested by e-mail. Chief Constable Bill Old confirmed the new policy and explained that Police Officers were far too busy filling in paperwork to be able t...

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Funny story: Police Cars to Get Green Lights

Police Cars to Get Green Lights

Britain's police cars are to get green lights in addition to their blues ones. The green lights will be used when rushing back from MacDonalds instead of the customary blue light currently used. A Home Office spokesperson said that the rules re...

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Funny story: Northumberland Police Buy Chieftan Tanks

Northumberland Police Buy Chieftan Tanks

A recent investigation has shown that the Tazers used to shoot Raol Moat were illegal, were not licenced and breached the Firearms Act. The company which supplied Tazers to the police has lost the contract for selling the illegal weapons to Northu...

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Funny story: Man who dialled 999 because stray cat entered his house gets dumped in bin for wasting police time

Man who dialled 999 because stray cat entered his house gets dumped in bin for wasting police time

A man who dialled 999 because a stray cat had walked through his back door into his kitchen was criticised today for wasting police time and has been dumped in a bin. The man, from Gloucester, was politely told to pick up the cat and put him out.

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Funny story: MI6 spook did not die alone

MI6 spook did not die alone

The police investigation into the bizarre death of an MI6 operative continues, albeit at a slower than usual snail's pace. The body of the spook, who has not been named for national security reasons, was found zipped and padlocked in a 140 litre A...

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Funny story: Scotland Yard chief Sir Paul Stephenson, admits 'psychological contract' with the public is broken.

Scotland Yard chief Sir Paul Stephenson, admits 'psychological contract' with the public is broken.

Scotland Yard, London: An example of what Scotland Yard chief Sir Paul Stephenson, admits as the 'psychological contract' with the public being broken, is when a tin of pink emulsion paint dumped over a two-year old silver Chevrolet and the deflatio...

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