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Funny satire stories about Kate Middleton

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Funny story: William and Kate met with MI6 codebreaker at Anglesey love nest

William and Kate met with MI6 codebreaker at Anglesey love nest

Wales - (Bangor Cottaging News): Saddlesore local Anglesey man Gareth Williams was seen 'several times' parking his BMX mountin' bike outside Wills' and Kate's North Wales shagging shack, according to reports. The couple's cleaning lady said today...

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Funny story: Alan Milburn to be Minister for Social Climbing

Alan Milburn to be Minister for Social Climbing

Whitehall - (Coalition Ass Mess): The stench of yet another hoax royal wedding is overpowering. An announcement from No 10 today confirms that Labour hatchet man Alan Milburn has been appointed as Minister for Social Climbing. His job is to re...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton's latest hairdresser says William besotted with blond hair

Kate Middleton's latest hairdresser says William besotted with blond hair

Will there or won't there be a Royal Wedding? Only her hairdresser knows! Kate Middleton has been hanging around for almost a decade waiting for her Princess moment. Although there has been no official comment from the men in gray suits there'...

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Funny story: William's Welsh shagging hideaway to cost extra £1.4 million in police protection

William's Welsh shagging hideaway to cost extra £1.4 million in police protection

Anglesey - (Rutters): The cost of shagging Kate Middleton at a bijou neo-postimperialist newbuild Welsh hideyhole has soared to £1.4 million. Police protection squads will mount a 24/7 guard on William and his stick insect girlfriend at their Holy...

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Funny story: Cumbria carnage 'puts a bit of a dampener' on William engagement ploy

Cumbria carnage 'puts a bit of a dampener' on William engagement ploy

London - (Killjoys): "Jolly bad form in Whitehaven, eh?" was the gist of a Palace statement this morning as lackeys struggled to spin a fairytale nuptial announcement in the light of Wednesday's Lake District gunshot massacre. Fawning sycophancy i...

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Funny story: Jerry Hall tests DNA positive for Kate Middleton's birth mother

Jerry Hall tests DNA positive for Kate Middleton's birth mother

Berkshire - (Gonads): The desperate wannabe royal was born in Mick Jagger's Stargroves mansion, less than 15 miles from the Middleton family's Bucklebury home in Prattshire. Newly released swabs from the UK National Poisons Unit confirm Jerry Hall...

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Funny story: Clarence House scotches rumour that Wills and Kate are secretly married. Charles-Camilla keeping mum

Clarence House scotches rumour that Wills and Kate are secretly married. Charles-Camilla keeping mum

LONDON - UK: The Royal rags and Tabloid headlines have been screaming: "Prince William proposes to Kate Middleton" "Wills and Kate to announce engagement" "UK set for Royal wedding" "Wedding hint from Wills and Kate" "November weddin...

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Funny story: Tabloids in Kate Middleton 'Princess Amnesia' cover-up

Tabloids in Kate Middleton 'Princess Amnesia' cover-up

London - (Phone Buggery): UK redtops have been ordered to delete all archives about crack dealer Gary Goldsmith, uncle of desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton. Heavy petting of Press Complaints Commission officials by Buckingham Palace enforcers...

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Funny story: Crown Estate secret mortgages bankrolled Kate Middleton habit

Crown Estate secret mortgages bankrolled Kate Middleton habit

London - (Bonkers): Forbidden by law to raise loans on its vast property portfolio assets, the Crown Estate has been caught skimming hundreds of thousands of pounds to feed Kate Middleton's insatiable royal-wannabe greed. "We reckon two million is...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton spends birthday in huddle with psychics

Kate Middleton spends birthday in huddle with psychics

London - (Rotters): Barricaded in the London College of Psychic Studies' panic room today desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton spent her 28th birthday coaxing and cajoling a ouija board. Seven years of mediums' predictions have so far all gone...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton's Tiger shagging gets her red card for royal Christmas

Kate Middleton's Tiger shagging gets her red card for royal Christmas

Sandringham, Norfuk - (Bonkers): Desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton's been banned from the annual shindig. A last minute deal with UK tabloids shred the Tiger shagging photos taken at a Gleneagles cathouse earlier this year. In return the m...

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Funny story: 'Satanic Sluts' agency bust

'Satanic Sluts' agency bust

London - (Ass Mess): It launched the careers of scores of badass old slags. But today Nigel Wingrove's soft porn empire has gone folded owing millions. Recent signees Georgina 'Satanic Sluts' Bailiie and Koo Stark's daughter Kate Middleton have b...

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Funny story: Psychics club together to buy Kate Middleton a guide dog

Psychics club together to buy Kate Middleton a guide dog

London - (Ectoplasmic): Worried London College of Sidekick Studies seers have had a whip-round for their best client and bought desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton a guide dog for Xmas. "They're acting on fears that love is blind," College spo...

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Funny story: Social workers took Kate Middleton's twin brats into care

Social workers took Kate Middleton's twin brats into care

Fife, Scotland - (Drainspotting): 'A skag addict with a dose of the clap? Of course Social Services pounced on her soon as the twin boys were spawned!' That seems to be the gist of an LA FagHagSlagMag feature this weekend giving a blowjob by blowj...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton 'has had her eggs frozen'

Kate Middleton 'has had her eggs frozen'

London - (Oeufs en Cocotte**): Prince William and Kate Middleton were spotted this weekend outside a seedy Harley Street backstreet contortionists. The desperate royal wannabe had her eggs harvested and deep frozen amid fears she is already well a...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton Dumps Wills: Finally Shows Some Sense

Kate Middleton Dumps Wills: Finally Shows Some Sense

In a startling development today, Kate Middleton, heretofore suspected by some of being a hologram rather than a person, called a press conference during which she told William, Lord Prince of All He Surveys, to buzz off. "I mean to say," she sai...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton's family loses prestigeous royal crack-dealing warrant after uncle's bust

Kate Middleton's family loses prestigeous royal crack-dealing warrant after uncle's bust

London - (Narcotic Mess): The official House of Windsore royal crack dealing warrant is up for grabs again following the collapse of a long running business arrangement with Kate Middleton's feckless moron uncle Gary 'Indiana' Goldsmith. The Spani...

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