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Funny story: Matthew Kelly arrested over turtle head food contamination.

Matthew Kelly arrested over turtle head food contamination.

Creepy television presenter and wooden actor Matthew Kelly was arrested last night after revealing in his autobiography he once scooped a "turtle head" out of his backside and wiped it on a Big Mac.

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Funny story: New animal Discovered in Antarctica

New animal Discovered in Antarctica

It appears an Eskimo myth has proved to be more than just superstition. A story retold down the ages in countless igloos about a polar bear who was deliriously high after eating hallucinogenic sea lions, mated with a penguin and produced offspring...

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Funny story: ASDA Shoppers are Scum - It's Official!

ASDA Shoppers are Scum - It's Official!

People who regularly shop at ASDA are scum a leading scientist said today, and that's official.

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Funny story: George Galloway disappears after Saddam's aides are executed

George Galloway disappears after Saddam's aides are executed

Respect MP, George Galloway has disappeared and thought to be in hiding today after news broke, that Iraq had executed two of Saddam's top aides and are to press the UK to extradite Galloway to be tried and hung for being one of the evil dictator...

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Funny story: Some Golden Globe Winners; No Surprise

Some Golden Globe Winners; No Surprise

The Golden Globe Awards are presented each year by the Hollywood Foreign Press and are often a preview of the Academy Awards. This year's list of winners offered no real surpises in the major categories. In the minor, and sometimes more technic...

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Funny story: Michael Jackson Sued by Pharmacist

Michael Jackson Sued by Pharmacist

Michael Jackson, the one time King of Pop, has been sued by his pharmacist for not paying his prescription drug bills. Filed in a California court, the suit alleges that Jackson is more than $100,000 behind on his credit with the store.

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Funny story: Lucy "Xena" Lawless Embarks on Singing Career

Lucy "Xena" Lawless Embarks on Singing Career

Lucy Lawless, former action star in television's "Xena, Warrior Princess," has decided to give up acting for a career as a singer.

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Funny story: Oprah Winfrey Caught Without Make-Up After Holiday Binges

Oprah Winfrey Caught Without Make-Up After Holiday Binges

Oprah Winfrey was caught without her make-up, and with no personal trainer in sight, after a month of holiday snacking. The talk show host and self proclaimed arbiter of all things wonderful and right (a.k.a. the female Rush Limbaugh or the black Ma...

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Funny story: Bush Accepts Position After Presidency Ends

Bush Accepts Position After Presidency Ends

President George W. Bush has announced that he has accepted a position/job to become effective after the conclusion of his term of office. Effective February 1st of 2009, Bush will take over as the cheerleader coach at Longhorn High School, near his...

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Funny story: King Daughter Said To Be Channeling Her Mother's Spirit; Sets Congregation on Fire

King Daughter Said To Be Channeling Her Mother's Spirit; Sets Congregation on Fire

It was reported today that Yolanda King, daughter of Martin Luther King Jr. and Coretta Scott King would be busy channeling her mother's love and spirit on this special day, the first holiday celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. since the death of...

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Funny story: Blackpool to host 2015 Oven Chip Festival.

Blackpool to host 2015 Oven Chip Festival.

Council chiefs were celebrating this morning as it was announced that Blackpool would play host to the 2007 Kwik Save international oven chip Festival. The dismal seaside town saw off Grimsby and Beirut in its bid to put on this prestigious event.

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Funny story: Secret Home Office Report: Masturbation rife in Britain's Prisons.

Secret Home Office Report: Masturbation rife in Britain's Prisons.

A disturbing new report by the home office has been leaked to the press in which it is revealed that British prisoners are masturbating up to five times a day. This is the latest revelation to rock the home office, described be weasel John Reid last...

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Funny story: Bird Island Opens Its Doors

Bird Island Opens Its Doors

Britain has opened its own Guantanamo Bay-style detention camp, Downing Street has revealed.

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Funny story: Satirist "King David" Receives A Break This Weekend; Uses "Buck E. Filbert's" Hollywood Wind Machine To Blow Off Lawn

Satirist "King David" Receives A Break This Weekend; Uses "Buck E. Filbert's" Hollywood Wind Machine To Blow Off Lawn

It was reported today that satirist, "King David" received a break this weekend after fellow satirist and "confidant to the stars since 1930," Buckley E. Filbertamous loaned King his Hollywood wind machine to blow off the leaves o...

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Funny story: American Pisses on Tank in Tiammen Square

American Pisses on Tank in Tiammen Square

DATELINE BEIJING, Jan 15 - The father of a US family visiting China was arrested for urinating on a tank in Tiamennan Square today. Witnesses said he was screaming: "Free Tibet" while he relieved himself against the tank treads of one of...

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Funny story: Xbox360 sells one billion consoles, others follow

Xbox360 sells one billion consoles, others follow

Microsoft has released yet more figures claiming that their console, the Xbox360 has sold a billion consoles over the holiday period. This is contrary to what Sony has claimed. Their official statement regarding the number of units sold was; 'Mor...

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Funny story: Industry Report Shows Polls Are Inconclusive

Industry Report Shows Polls Are Inconclusive

An industry report today showed that Polls into our daily lives are "inconclusive" & "inaccurate". The news comes as Sony launches it's PS7 Handheld games machine with built in microwave.

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