City Hall, London - (AssoCIAted Mess): In a landmark trade deal London Mayor Ken Livingstone has secured a five year contract to supply cheap Venezuelan crack cocaine to the capital following months of delicate wrangling with President Hugo Chavez...
London - (Associated Mess): On the fifth anniversary of the US's greatest loss and grief at Ground Zero, Lower Manhattan, the UK's Foreign Office has been at a total loss to explain why a senile old gangster and former Hellfire Club brothel k...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Police investigating the fraud, embezzlement and extortion paper trail of Culture Secretary Tessa Jowl's shyster-lawyer husband David 'Dark Satanic' Mills have arrested a fugitive Sicilian mobster Raffaele Cal...
Downing Street, London SW1 1AA - (Associated Mess): The Prime Monster's wife Cherry Bush QC has flown to the Vatican to beg the Pope to pray for a miracle to save her disaster-struck husband who faces the gallows for treason at the end of the we...
Downing Street, London SW1 - (ReUterus & AssoCIAted Mess): In a radical policy pronouncement this weekend the Bush Administration at No10 Dowing Street has confirmed that its will be resurrecting its original Third Reich eugenics policy following ne...
Baghdad, Iraq and London, England---Once upon a time in a far away land that was not easy to find with a bright searchlight and a high road map that depicted a far forbidding forest that was overrun with weed, rocks and rolls and unwelcome agricultur...
London - (Associated Mess): Officers investigating the bribes-for-honours mess that saw the Prime Monster's racket partner Lord Levy arrested last month are reported to be standing by with armed troops in a bid to storm No 10 Downing Street.
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Tragedy has struck once again in the hapless Von Bismarck family, whose eponymous luxury ocean-going yacht, leased to the Third Reich on cruise duties, met with disaster in the Mediterranean in 1941.
London - (Associated Mess): As a massive rain-bearing anti-cyclone approaches the United Kingdom in time for the traditional depressive August Bank Holiday downpour, television executives at Channel Four are preparing to take advantage of the near-c...
Buckingham Palace, London - (AssoCIAted Mess & ReUterus): Police officers investigating the abortive attempt of the mass murder of thousands of US-bound airline passengers are believed to have stumbled upon startling new evidence leading directly t...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The epic saga of the Thatcher era homes-for-votes fiasco took a sinister turn today as the latest Euro-Septic Tory glory-boy David Cameron emerged as the number one police suspect in Dame Shirley Porter's disastrous...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Papal Pro-Nuncio in London Joaquin Navarro-Valls has fled his Vatican-appointed Dead Sea Scrolls office following UK press reports that linked his offshore bank accounts held at the Riggs Bank, Pyongyang branch, to tw...
London -- Keeping passengers happy during the now super-long waits at the check-in desk can be a challenge. Managers at London's Heathrow may have solved the problem, they say, by filling the frustrating enduro-time wasted on line with the offering o...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Officers from the Met's Anti-terrorist branch have foiled a massive conspiracy to blow up a series of transatlantic passenger jets masterminded by the heir to the Pretender to the Throne of Great Britain, Charles Wind...
Downing Street, London - (AssoCIA-ted Mess): The Prime Monster's racket partner and special Middle East envoy Lord Levy has confided to Downing Street aides that he fears being stalked by ex-patriate Hezbollah hitmen following the escalation of I...
Downing Street, London - (Ass-o-CIA-ted Mess): Officers from the Metropolitan Police's Anti-Corruption division investigating the bribes-for-honours scam that bagged Lord Levy last month have confiscated Tony Blair's passport, preventing him...
London - (Associated Mess): A new official new portrait of Baroness Thatcher has been praised for depicting the widely-recognised inhuman side of her personality, deftly captured on a rusty sheet of toxic iron recycled from a former Luftwaffe bomber...
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