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Funny story: Cops smash heir terror plot

Cops smash heir terror plot

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Officers from the Met's Anti-terrorist branch have foiled a massive conspiracy to blow up a series of transatlantic passenger jets masterminded by the heir to the Pretender to the Throne of Great Britain, Charles Wind...

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Funny story: Paranoid Levy fears Hezbollah stalkers

Paranoid Levy fears Hezbollah stalkers

Downing Street, London - (AssoCIA-ted Mess): The Prime Monster's racket partner and special Middle East envoy Lord Levy has confided to Downing Street aides that he fears being stalked by ex-patriate Hezbollah hitmen following the escalation of I...

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Funny story: Cops seize Blair's passport as Cherie tans her cellulite

Cops seize Blair's passport as Cherie tans her cellulite

Downing Street, London - (Ass-o-CIA-ted Mess): Officers from the Metropolitan Police's Anti-Corruption division investigating the bribes-for-honours scam that bagged Lord Levy last month have confiscated Tony Blair's passport, preventing him...

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Funny story: New portrait of Hellfire Club materfamilias

New portrait of Hellfire Club materfamilias

London - (Associated Mess): A new official new portrait of Baroness Thatcher has been praised for depicting the widely-recognised inhuman side of her personality, deftly captured on a rusty sheet of toxic iron recycled from a former Luftwaffe bomber...

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Funny story: Levy bust cops eye spooky new Cherie guru Greene

Levy bust cops eye spooky new Cherie guru Greene

10 Downing Street, London - (AssoCIAted Mess): A silky-smooth and highly polished Metropolitan Police counter-intelligence operation is in full swing as UK security/intelligence agencies home in on the latest parvenu that Cherry Bush QC has tried to...

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Funny story: London memorial service for Opus Dei banker

London memorial service for Opus Dei banker

London - (Associated Mess): A full complement of the House of Mountbatten is expected to attend this week's memorial service at St Adolf's-up-the-Creek parish church for the suicided Opus Dei banker Gianmario Roveraro who chainsawed himself...

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Funny story: Another dodgy Opus Dei banker found suicided under bridge

Another dodgy Opus Dei banker found suicided under bridge

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Tessa Jowl's beleagured dodgy husband David 'Dark Satanic' Mills was sweating plutonium today following the news that Italian police have discovered the body of Opus Dei banker Gianmario Roveraro who disappear...

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Funny story: Cardinal probed in massive VAT fraud

Cardinal probed in massive VAT fraud

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Following yesterday's sudden shock resignation of the Archbishop of Westminster's right-hand PR guru Oz-Tin Ivory, UK cops have confirmed that they are now probing his boss Cormac Murphy O'Connor who is believ...

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Funny story: "Blair next" say cops

"Blair next" say cops

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): "Yes, we're like brothers", said Tony Blair as he defended Michael Levy - his No 1 WMD fantasist, personal bagman and co-author of the biggest conspiracy to pervert the course of justice since General Pinoch...

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Funny story: Things Can Only Get Bitter as cops bust Poodle's bagman

Things Can Only Get Bitter as cops bust Poodle's bagman

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Prime Monster's Middle East envoy, top fun raiser and official bagman Michael Levy is in a North London slammer today after the Serious and Organised Fraud Squad of the Metropolitan Police busted him in their inve...

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Funny story: Cops squeeze Dark Satanic Mills in Calvi probe

Cops squeeze Dark Satanic Mills in Calvi probe

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Pressure was mounting last night on Tessa Jowl's shyster lawyer husband David 'Dark Satanic' Mills in the God's Banker murder probe as he and fourteen accomplices were indicted on fraud, embezzlement and c...

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Funny story: Video of 7 July bomber released

Video of 7 July bomber released

New Scotland Yard, London - (AssoCIAted Mess): UK cops have confirmed that the new video footage released by Al Jazeera TV of the 7/7 London bombing top suspect is of the Prince William doppleganger spawned by a lethal conjunction between Chancellor...

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Funny story: Somme like it hot

Somme like it hot

London - (Associated Mess): A Ministry of Defence spokesman confirmed this morning that known relatives of Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin who have made stellar careers from impersonating members of the British royal family will be representing the U...

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Funny story: Mellon hacking gang in the dock

Mellon hacking gang in the dock

London - (Associated Mess): Next week sees the eagerly awaited London High Court criminal trial of US banking and oil heir apparent Matthew Mellon, famous for his maternal great-grandma Katherine Drexel becoming a Roman Catholic saint in 2000 after...

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Funny story: Blair to get new Hellforce One

Blair to get new Hellforce One

London - (Associated Mess): The UK civil aviation industry has announced that it is going to club together and buy Prime Monster Tony Blair his very own aircraft. The news comes after Cherie Blair's accountant advised there were buckets of cash...

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Funny story: Mad Hatter's Tea Party for Queen's 80th

Mad Hatter's Tea Party for Queen's 80th

London - (Associated Mess): The Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams preached before a capacity audience at St Paul's Cathedral today to commemorate the 80th birthday of Elizabeth Windsor and extolled her inhumanity at steadfastly refusing...

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Funny story: Spooks think Blunkett may be 7/7 mastermind

Spooks think Blunkett may be 7/7 mastermind

London - (Associated Mess): The finger of suspicion in the criminal investigation of the 7 July London bombings has been pointing long and hard in the direction of disgraced ex-Home Secretary David Blunkett, according to documents released by MI5 un...

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