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Funny satire stories about Drugs

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Funny story: US Drug Demand Makes Life in Mexico Poor and Tired

US Drug Demand Makes Life in Mexico Poor and Tired

The insatiable desire for drugs among the citizens of the land of the free and the brave has turned life in family centered and culturally rich Mexico into a catastrophe of drug war assassinations and kidnappings. Peace loving and fiercely moral M...

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Funny story: 2008 Olympics: Man With Starting Gun Fails Drug Test

2008 Olympics: Man With Starting Gun Fails Drug Test

There was a new drugs scandal at the Olympic Games this morning, when the official responsible for starting sprint races with the starting gun failed a drugs test. Aun Yo Marx, who has started every sprint race thus far, tested positive for a ster...

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Funny story: Web Surfing While Intoxicated Now Illegal

Web Surfing While Intoxicated Now Illegal

Washington DC-- Congress voted today to make web-surfing while drunk or stoned illegal. Penalties are $5,000 for the first offense with a mandatory jail term of one year in federal prison. Local police departments will enforce the law. Congress...

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Funny story: US Federal Drug Administration to Sponsor 2009 Tour de Farce

US Federal Drug Administration to Sponsor 2009 Tour de Farce

Paris/AP - The future of The Tour de Farce, an institution in cycling since 1903, was saved today when the FDA announced it would take over sponsorships of ALL teams participating in the event for 2009. Plagued by the continued use of performanc...

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Funny story: 2008 Olympic Swimming Drugs Scandal

2008 Olympic Swimming Drugs Scandal

There was controversy in the Olympic pool in Beijing today, when, after US paddler Michael Phelps' disputed victory in the 100m Butterfly final, the first swimming drugs scandal of the 2008 Games surfaced. Phelps won, but afterwards, eighty-four...

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Funny story: High School Musical 3 to tackle real issues

High School Musical 3 to tackle real issues

Waltfilms have revealed that the hotly anticipated 'High School Musical 3' will focus on realistic themes that will 'resonate better with the target audience.' Joe Robben, a press spokesman for Waltfilms worldwide, told us 'Setting it in Dundee gi...

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Funny story: Prince Edward's Oxo Shame

Prince Edward's Oxo Shame

The royal family was thrown into turmoil last night when it was revealed that Prince Edward, Earl of Essex had admitted to have 'used Oxo' during his teenage years.

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Funny story: Russian cocaine sub seized off Mexico

Russian cocaine sub seized off Mexico

Santa Tom Cruz, Mexico - (Ass Mess): A Russian submarine with over 30 tonnes of high grade cocaine bound for a Scientology temple in Hollywood was seized by the Swiss Navy in its territorial waters off the Mexican coast today.

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Funny story: Thousands Of Musicians To Be Banned For Substance Abuse After Dwain Chambers Verdict

Thousands Of Musicians To Be Banned For Substance Abuse After Dwain Chambers Verdict

As Dwain Chambers left the High Court a disappointed man yesterday, thousands of musicians have been warned that they, too, face a lifetime ban from performing or making income from music if they test positive...

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Funny story: Dwain Chambers Judge Delays Decision "To Make It Even More Exciting"

Dwain Chambers Judge Delays Decision "To Make It Even More Exciting"

The judge presiding over the Dwain Chambers Injunction case will delay making his decision on the exciting case until tomorrow in a bid, say court officials, "to make the spectacle even more exciting."

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Funny story: European NGO Mellow Response to GM Weed

European NGO Mellow Response to GM Weed

Amsterdim - Pan-Universal News Syndicate - Repeated discoveries of a genetically modified (GM) weed newly found everywhere around the world has elicited cries of alarm. Previously, GM plants have been found growing in highway pavements, but this new...

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Funny story: Dwain Chambers Hires Famous TV Lawyer Horace Rumpole

Dwain Chambers Hires Famous TV Lawyer Horace Rumpole

Dwain Chambers, Britain's best chance of an athletics gold medal at the Beijing Olympic Games, has hired renowned defence lawyer Horace Rumpole for his High Court battle tomorrow.

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Funny story: Dwain Chambers Breaks World Record - But BOA Still Won't Give In

Dwain Chambers Breaks World Record - But BOA Still Won't Give In

Dwain Chambers, the British sprinter banned for two years after testing positive for a banned substance, broke the 100m World Record at the Olympic trials in Birmingham yesterday, but still won't be allowed to represent the natio...

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Funny story: Prince William Arrested for Smuggling £40million worth of Cocaine

Prince William Arrested for Smuggling £40million worth of Cocaine

Able Seaman Prince William the second-in-line to the Throne has been banged up in Kingston Jail, Barbados after being caught by the Barbarian Navy of smuggling £40million worth of Cocaine.

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Funny story: Wills' ship huge coke haul

Wills' ship huge coke haul

Caribbean - (Huge Ass Mess): A right royal storm has broken out after an unnamed sailor on HMS Iron Puke was found to be carrying 'up to five kilos of high grade cocaine' up his arsehole today.

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Funny story: Leading drug dealer claims coke is not dangerous

Leading drug dealer claims coke is not dangerous

On his fact-finding tour of the UK, Jay Zous Khrist, one of the USA's most dangerous drug barons and music rappers has openly declared that coke is not dangerous, and that governments throughout the world are "making a mountain out of a cruc...

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Funny story: Bush fails to quash London embassy coke dealer charges

Bush fails to quash London embassy coke dealer charges

London - (Ass Mess): A last ditch attempt by George W Bush to hush up Tetra Pak heir Hans Kristian Rausing's US embassy drugs bust has failed.

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