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Funny satire stories about Olympics

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Funny story: 2008 Olympic Games Medal Scandal

2008 Olympic Games Medal Scandal

There was outrage at the British Olympic team camp tonight as a new scandal broke involving the Gold, Silver and Bronze medals awarded to the competitors at the Beijing Games. A statement from British Team officials claimed that "the medals are made...

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Funny story: Ben Ainslie Asks British Expats For Farts To Create Wind For Crucial Race

Ben Ainslie Asks British Expats For Farts To Create Wind For Crucial Race

Ben Ainslie, the British sailor, has put out a request for Beijing-based British expatriates to come down to the Olympic sailing event today, and provide wind for his crucial last race, by farting en masse. The strange request comes after Saturday...

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Funny story: China's Olympic Fantasy

China's Olympic Fantasy

Sources have revealed Chinese Olympic coverage to be among the most creative fictions of the 21st century. Controversy over computer-generated fireworks, lip-syncing youngsters, and Han Chinese disguised as members of China's ethnic groups have prov...

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Funny story: Usain Bolt In Possible Medal-Stripping Scandal

Usain Bolt In Possible Medal-Stripping Scandal

Usain Bolt, the fastest man on Earth, could be stripped of his Olympic 100m sprint gold medal after it was discovered that his name is an anagram of the silly word 'Ablutions'. Bolt, 21, is from Jamaica, where the standard way of telling someone t...

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Funny story: British athlete fails dope test

British athlete fails dope test

Jerome Ponsenby-Smythe-Witherspoon, the Commonwealth sheep-worrying champion and the UK's only treble-barreled named athlete, has today failed a dope test at the Olympics. Team coach, Bernard Toffe was said to be devastated, and completely legless...

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Funny story: 2008 Olympic Cycling Chaos As Mens 4000m Keirin Won By Durney Bike

2008 Olympic Cycling Chaos As Mens 4000m Keirin Won By Durney Bike

There was mayhem at the Laoshan Velodrome in Beijing today when, in the Olympic Mens Keirin cycling event, the riders were surprised by a shock breakaway by the Durney Bike, which sped away from the main field to take the gold medal. The Durney Bi...

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Funny story: Fake Alien Invasion Planned For 2012

Fake Alien Invasion Planned For 2012

The secretive occult following bankers, that are the real runners of the planet, are planning a fake alien invasion for the 2012 London Olympic Games. They will try to con everyone in the world that the invaders must be worshiped like gods, while...

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Funny story: 2008 Olympic Swimming Drugs Scandal

2008 Olympic Swimming Drugs Scandal

There was controversy in the Olympic pool in Beijing today, when, after US paddler Michael Phelps' disputed victory in the 100m Butterfly final, the first swimming drugs scandal of the 2008 Games surfaced. Phelps won, but afterwards, eighty-four...

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Funny story: Chinese Olympic gymnasts really third trimester fetuses, claims IOC

Chinese Olympic gymnasts really third trimester fetuses, claims IOC

Beijing, China - In a display of unprecedented backbone ever shown by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) in recent years, the IOC announced today that it intends to launch a formal investigation into the alleged violation of its rules by the p...

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Funny story: Smogalympics, Inc.

Smogalympics, Inc.

As the Beijing smog continues to plague the Chinese Olympics, Eastern ingenuity has joined forces with Western capitalism to discover a solution. The Coca Cola and Ich Chee Nee Electronics companies have created a new corporation called Smogalympics...

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Funny story: Lady Samantha Four-Bums Wins Olympic Beach Volley Ball Pairs By Herself!

Lady Samantha Four-Bums Wins Olympic Beach Volley Ball Pairs By Herself!

While the world watched the American porn stars Misty May-Crack and her partner Alyssa Alps tear their half naked way through the Beach Volley Ball Olympics, no one expected that a British Noble would grab the gold. But Lady Samantha Four-Bums brough...

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Funny story: Synchronized Grade Inflation and Economic Stagflation Hit the UK in Olympic Year!

Synchronized Grade Inflation and Economic Stagflation Hit the UK in Olympic Year!

The number of students coming out of British schools with perfect grades after a hardly notable academic career of collages and parent produced science projects is about to overwhelm the university system with below average straight A's freshmen. At...

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Funny story: Michael Phelps Has Had His Ass Slapped By George Bush

Michael Phelps Has Had His Ass Slapped By George Bush

Michael Phelps, the star of the Beijing Olympics after his record-breaking 8 gold medals in the swimming pool, has admitted that he owes much of his success to President George Bush, who slapped his ass before he left for China. Bush, who also sla...

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Funny story: Gold Medal Chinese Women's Gymnastics Team Disqualified Due To Age

Gold Medal Chinese Women's Gymnastics Team Disqualified Due To Age

The Chinese Women's Gymnastics Team took the Olympic Gold Medal in the team competition, but has been disqualified due to the falsification of the ages of some of the team members. News sources had reported several days ago that at least three membe...

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Funny story: Records broken and barriers overcome at Olympics

Records broken and barriers overcome at Olympics

A couple of days into the Olympics, and despite the impression given by the Chinese authorities that they are a bunch of oppressive old dictators frightened by democracy, things appear to be going extraordinarily well, or in the case of the Americans...

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Funny story: Prince Jefri Archer blamed for Brunei getting booted from Olympics

Prince Jefri Archer blamed for Brunei getting booted from Olympics

Beijing - (Daftass Mess): "I blame top Brunei mobster Prince Jefri for the catastrophe," the IOC's Chinese CEO Wang Wei Wanki said today after althletes from Brunei Darussalam were banned from the 2008 Olympic Games. The gangster princeling is cu...

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Funny story: London 2012 Olympics 'will use CGI' - Seb Coe

London 2012 Olympics 'will use CGI' - Seb Coe

Sebastian Coe, chairman of the London Organising Committee for the Olympic Games, has said that his team has learned lessons from the controversy surrounding the use of Computer Generated Imagery (CGI) during the Beijing Olympics and promises to be o...

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