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Funny story: SOCA probes Abramovich

SOCA probes Abramovich

London - (Associated Mess): The UK's Serious and Organised Crimes Agency (SOCA) is investigating corruption allegations centred on Chelsea Football Club's Roman Abramovich after media reports that he is the swindling impostor son of beleagur...

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Funny story: Camilla pregnancy rumors: Charles buys Vlad the Impaler's ancestral pile

Camilla pregnancy rumors: Charles buys Vlad the Impaler's ancestral pile

Clarence House, London - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): The Pretender to the Throne has bought a Transylvanian bijou cottage that once belonged to his ancestor Vlad the Impaler and is renovating it in time for Camilla's confinement there next sum...

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Funny story: Margaret's Order of the Bath

Margaret's Order of the Bath

Buckingham Palace, London - (Associated Mess): Official commemorative portraits have been unveiled of the late Princess Margaret depicting her 1962 investiture into the Most Ancient and Noble Royal Order of the Bath.

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Funny story: Blair's 'Sign of the Beast' : W is for.......?

Blair's 'Sign of the Beast' : W is for.......?

London - (Associated Mess): It rhymes with 'banker'. That is the official verdict of political anal-lists all over the world as the controversy mounts in the UK press regarding the mysterious 'W' that has appeared on the Prime Monste...

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Funny story: Livingstone brokers cheap crack cocaine deal for London

Livingstone brokers cheap crack cocaine deal for London

City Hall, London - (AssoCIAted Mess): In a landmark trade deal London Mayor Ken Livingstone has secured a five year contract to supply cheap Venezuelan crack cocaine to the capital following months of delicate wrangling with President Hugo Chavez...

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Funny story: Demented fascist matriarch returns to ogle Ground Zero

Demented fascist matriarch returns to ogle Ground Zero

London - (Associated Mess): On the fifth anniversary of the US's greatest loss and grief at Ground Zero, Lower Manhattan, the UK's Foreign Office has been at a total loss to explain why a senile old gangster and former Hellfire Club brothel k...

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Funny story: Ratzinger's fugitive hitman Caldarelli busted

Ratzinger's fugitive hitman Caldarelli busted

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Police investigating the fraud, embezzlement and extortion paper trail of Culture Secretary Tessa Jowl's shyster-lawyer husband David 'Dark Satanic' Mills have arrested a fugitive Sicilian mobster Raffaele Cal...

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Funny story: Ratzinger to pray for Blair miracle

Ratzinger to pray for Blair miracle

Downing Street, London SW1 1AA - (Associated Mess): The Prime Monster's wife Cherry Bush QC has flown to the Vatican to beg the Pope to pray for a miracle to save her disaster-struck husband who faces the gallows for treason at the end of the we...

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Funny story: War Against Terra: Blair slams menace embryos

War Against Terra: Blair slams menace embryos

Downing Street, London SW1 - (ReUterus & AssoCIAted Mess): In a radical policy pronouncement this weekend the Bush Administration at No10 Dowing Street has confirmed that its will be resurrecting its original Third Reich eugenics policy following ne...

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Funny story: Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?

Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?

Baghdad, Iraq and London, England---Once upon a time in a far away land that was not easy to find with a bright searchlight and a high road map that depicted a far forbidding forest that was overrun with weed, rocks and rolls and unwelcome agricultur...

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Funny story: Troops on stand-by as Levy bribe probe cops grill Blair

Troops on stand-by as Levy bribe probe cops grill Blair

London - (Associated Mess): Officers investigating the bribes-for-honours mess that saw the Prime Monster's racket partner Lord Levy arrested last month are reported to be standing by with armed troops in a bid to storm No 10 Downing Street.

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Funny story: Bismarck sunk again

Bismarck sunk again

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Tragedy has struck once again in the hapless Von Bismarck family, whose eponymous luxury ocean-going yacht, leased to the Third Reich on cruise duties, met with disaster in the Mediterranean in 1941.

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Funny story: UK TV prepares to bury House of Mountbatten

UK TV prepares to bury House of Mountbatten

London - (Associated Mess): As a massive rain-bearing anti-cyclone approaches the United Kingdom in time for the traditional depressive August Bank Holiday downpour, television executives at Channel Four are preparing to take advantage of the near-c...

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Funny story: Terror cops find Di pre-nup 'martyr tapes'

Terror cops find Di pre-nup 'martyr tapes'

Buckingham Palace, London - (AssoCIAted Mess & ReUterus): Police officers investigating the abortive attempt of the mass murder of thousands of US-bound airline passengers are believed to have stumbled upon startling new evidence leading directly t...

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Funny story: Blair's firstborn is Shirley Porter's gerrymandering accomplice

Blair's firstborn is Shirley Porter's gerrymandering accomplice

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The epic saga of the Thatcher era homes-for-votes fiasco took a sinister turn today as the latest Euro-Septic Tory glory-boy David Cameron emerged as the number one police suspect in Dame Shirley Porter's disastrous...

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Funny story: Ratzinger's UK bagman does a runner

Ratzinger's UK bagman does a runner

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Papal Pro-Nuncio in London Joaquin Navarro-Valls has fled his Vatican-appointed Dead Sea Scrolls office following UK press reports that linked his offshore bank accounts held at the Riggs Bank, Pyongyang branch, to tw...

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Funny story: Heathrow to Put Waiting Time to Good Use - Free ‘Personal' Exams

Heathrow to Put Waiting Time to Good Use - Free ‘Personal' Exams

London -- Keeping passengers happy during the now super-long waits at the check-in desk can be a challenge. Managers at London's Heathrow may have solved the problem, they say, by filling the frustrating enduro-time wasted on line with the offering o...

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