London - (Associated Mess): The War on Terra took on a sinister new twist in London today when ticket inspectors at London Transport's Strategic Logstics Unit brought down a suspected fare-dodger using an Operation Kratos-inspired pin-down throt...
Westminster Cathedral, London - (Associated Mess): Archbishop Cormac Murphy O'Connor today laughed off 'ludicrous' claims made by a UK television documentary this weekend that his boss Pope Joseph Ratzinger ordered a life-long child ab...
London - (Associated Mess): Officers of the Metropolitan Police's Anti-Terrorist Branch have issued a statement naming London greasy-spoon cafe proprietor and serial self-publicist Terence Conran as their John Major number one head of UK organi...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The bungs-for peerages corrpution probe that saw the arrest last week of serial political sperm donor Sir Christopher Evans of Merlin Bioscams has quizzed the Prime Monster's offical gatekeeper Ruth Turner.
Washington DC - (Associated Mess): In a keynote address to the Senate yesterday, the head of the global organised crime cartel a.k.a. President George Bush Junior warned that he and the Bush Administration at Number 10 Downing Street in London were...
London - Ever ready to outdo itself, Heathrow management has taken a page from Disney's book, pulled the plug on boring mega-waits and turned its "security features" into attractions.
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Classified records released under the UK's 9/11 Freedom of Disinformation Act have revealed the shockingh truth behind Chancellor Gordon Brown's true parentage and name the Earl of Mountbatten's daughter Patri...
London - Once thought to be a figure of speech, the internationally known but never before actually seen Straw Man (his chosen name) has come to the fore to rectify his demonization.
London - (Associated Mess): Despite myriad occult rites throughout the United Kingdom yesterday invoking the legendary supernatural powers of the autumn equinox, senior grandees of the Hellfire Club are reported as powerless to stop the predicted ti...
London - (AssocCIAted Mess): Police officers from the Met's Anti-Corruption Unit have given their strongest hint yet that they have found the smoking gun they need to bust the lame duck Prime Monster in their investigation of the bungs-for-peera...
London - (Associated Mess): Former US President Bill Clinton will play to a sell-out full house at the Royal Albert Hall next week in the first gig of his global come-back tour that promises to feature a medley of greatest hits including "Fool...
London - (Associated Mess): There are rumbling of shock in the UK Hellfire Club today ahead of Friday's pivotal Virgo solar eclipse following the theft of a laptop computer in Manchester which detailed official security arrangements for next wee...
London - (Associated Mess): The bungs for peerages corruption probe took a sinister twist last night with the arrest of the Prime Monster's personal skin doctor Sir Christopher Bung Evans, founder of Merlin Bioscams and notorious donor to most UK po...
London - (Associated Mess): The UK's Serious and Organised Crimes Agency (SOCA) is investigating corruption allegations centred on Chelsea Football Club's Roman Abramovich after media reports that he is the swindling impostor son of beleagur...
Clarence House, London - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): The Pretender to the Throne has bought a Transylvanian bijou cottage that once belonged to his ancestor Vlad the Impaler and is renovating it in time for Camilla's confinement there next sum...
Buckingham Palace, London - (Associated Mess): Official commemorative portraits have been unveiled of the late Princess Margaret depicting her 1962 investiture into the Most Ancient and Noble Royal Order of the Bath.
London - (Associated Mess): It rhymes with 'banker'. That is the official verdict of political anal-lists all over the world as the controversy mounts in the UK press regarding the mysterious 'W' that has appeared on the Prime Monste...
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