Patients have reacted angrily to the news that they may be forced to have swine flu vaccinations. The proposed programme will see everyone entitled to the flu vaccination being tied down and jabbed repeatedly with needles containing the H1N1 swine fl...
SCIENTISTS are pleading with people to exercise common sense after a sudden spike in hospital admissions were linked with canabalism. Patients were admitted into local hospitals and clinics with gashes and bite marks on arms and legs. "I unders...
A taste for celery is one that many people never acquire, but scientists have just given them a reason to eat it. They have discovered that a chemical found in high concentrations in celery - and in peppers - could halt memory loss as we get older...
Boston, Massachusetts. Scientists from Harvard University have uncovered a new physical malaise affecting all correspondents to popular web site TheSpoof.com. The condition manifests itself as a facial tick and also includes spasmodic tremors of...
A study by researchers into US dietary control has revealed that there are now more people than ever before, who just can't walk past a burger establishment without going in and purchasing a meal that a normal family could live off for a week. Out...
The NHS has purchased 217 Dyson Birthing Machines for maternity units throughout England. The birthing machine is described as a revolution for mothers experiencing a difficult birth. It incorporates Dyson's patented Root Cyclone technology and, w...
The old saying that 'horses sweat, men perspire and women glow' is true, according to a Japanese study. "It appears that women are at a disadvantage when they need to sweat during exercise," said research co-ordnator Yoshimitsu Inoue, in the journ...
Commonwealth Games Federation president Michael Fennell has said he is worried about the number of swimmers who are becoming ill in Delhi. Over 50 swimmers have become unwell after competing at the Mukherjee Aquatics Complex. The complex named a...
At the recent Conservative party conference it was announced by Prime Minister, David Cameron, that it would be a "jolly wheeze" to make cigarettes available on prescription. Many of his fellow party members asked him to "packet in". In what is sa...
In an effort to save the huge amounts of money, wasted each year in England on Ambulance crews and petrol, used in fetching booze fuelled malcontents to hospitals, the NHS trust are taking the unusual step of installing a fully staffed Emergency Care...
Drinking does not raise the risk of developmental problems for babies, a study has suggested. A study of more than 11,000 babies under two years old, published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health found no evidence of harm. The s...
SEATTLE, Washington - A group of enterprising doctors today were granted a license by the State Board of Medical Examiners in Washington State to open the first of what they hope to be many self-help walk-in clinics in America. Based on the concep...
The private medical firm HealthDosh has announced a wonderful new treatment for people suffering urine retention. Urine retention is a common problem whereby however hard you try you cannot wee. The NHS is not allowed to offer treatment because NI...
David Cameron has hit the headlines again in a bold, but controversial move to cut the burgeoning world population by cutting all foreign monetary aid and sending condoms and morning after pills instead, with full instructions on the packets. And no,...
Once again they've become fodder for the boffins. Now a group of researchers says a 10-year study has revealed that spoof writers are most likely to suffer from impotence, incontinence, incoherence and constipation due to the excessive numbers of ho...
A memo for circulation at the Conservative Party Conference has been given to your ever diligent reporter. It will make some people ill. The unsigned memo argues that wealthy people should not get free bus passes, free dental check ups, the winter...
Doctors are warning that the Government is placing the NHS in danger by putting too much strain on GP's. 'We can't do all this work' advised the BMA chiefs 'we weren't trained do these bureaucratic tasks you are requiring us to do.' Suspicions...
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