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Funny satire stories about Drugs

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Funny story: Government to bail out struggling drug dealers

Government to bail out struggling drug dealers

Struggling drug dealers have been promised huge amounts of taxpayers money by the government in a deal designed to save their ailing businesses. A government spokesperson stated that the collapse of the industry is a result of previously wealthy b...

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Funny story: Tons of marijuana discovered at school

Tons of marijuana discovered at school

Two and a half tons of marijuana was discovered in an Afghani school, leading authorities to inspect other students' lockers only to discover twice that much in opium stashed away. "These enemy combatants think they can hide their drugs from us?"...

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Funny story: New Male Enhancement Product Announced

New Male Enhancement Product Announced

New York NY: A consortium of pharmaceutical companies has announced that a new male enhancement tablet is currently being test marketed in various US cities. A marketing spokesperson said that "the purpose of this real world testing is to "work out t...

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Funny story: Bristol Palin's mother in law-to-be busted for five kilos of Alaskan Matanuska Thunderf**k

Bristol Palin's mother in law-to-be busted for five kilos of Alaskan Matanuska Thunderf**k

Wasilla, Alaska - (High and Dry Mess): Just days away from becoming a grandma to Governor Sarah Palin's eldest daughter's baby Wasilla resident Sherry L Johnston was busted this morning for growing 'up to five kilos' of the notorious Alaskan Matanusk...

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Funny story: Pharmaceuticals Giant Demands Apology From FDA For Banned Drugs

Pharmaceuticals Giant Demands Apology From FDA For Banned Drugs

Pharmaceutical giant Smerck publicly demanded an apology from the Food and Drug Administration for it's actions in banning the drug Vileoxx. The drug manufacturer also wanted to take the opportunity to get a few other things off it's chest, things th...

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Funny story: Tokyo man not guilty of drug use

Tokyo man not guilty of drug use

A local man has been found guilty of a drug induced shooting spree in Tokyo. Asoko Nakamoto was found guilty of shooting 17 people whilst under the influence of LSD, guilty of possession of the drug, but acquitted of taking it. Judge Yoshi Ka...

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Funny story: Obama To Legalize Marijuana

Obama To Legalize Marijuana

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President-elect Barack Obama announced on Thursday that his administration will quickly legalize marijuana. "I am preparing to end the costly and pointless federal raids on marijuana users," said Obama between drags from...

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Funny story: Suspicious Powder Found in Letters

Suspicious Powder Found in Letters

ICELAND - Suspicious letters containing a white substance addressed to local straight men were intercepted in at least six places on Monday, but tests indicated the white stuff in five of them was dried sperm. The letters were reported in Alaska,...

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Funny story: Massive Joints

Massive Joints

WASHINGTON - Rolling a joint to smoke against the financial meltdown, the Bush administration pledged $80 dollars a quarter Tuesday to help smoke us through these heavy times. In Chicago, meanwhile, President-elect Barack Obama named his smoking b...

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Funny story: 'Zero Times Table Scrapped'

'Zero Times Table Scrapped'

Never again will we hear the dulcet tones of 5 year-olds reciting 'one times zero is zero, two times zero is zero' etc. Education chiefs have erased the Zero Times Table recitation from the school curriculum, but deny its another streamlining tactic.

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Funny story: Study: Pills do not prevent premature ejaculation

Study: Pills do not prevent premature ejaculation

Vitamin K or Y pills do not help prevent premature ejaculation in men, concludes the same big study that last week found these supplements ineffective for warding off piles. The public has been cheated by good and bad news about vitamins, much of...

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Funny story: Russel Brand in new Daffodil Drug Sensation

Russel Brand in new Daffodil Drug Sensation

Bad boy Brand, one time broadcaster, revealed as Daffodil abuser! Authorities are rushing to contain the latest drug sensation, Daffodils, distilled, are said to be more powerful than Methamphetamine or LSD. Local councils now have the answer...

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Funny story: £400 million royal Xmas coke deal busted

£400 million royal Xmas coke deal busted

Cork, Ireland - (Ass Mess): One and a half tonnes of cocaine worth an estimated £400 million and bound for the London Xmas party scene has been seized off the west coast of Ireland after a seven month surveillance operation tracking Prince Charles' l...

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Funny story: Couple Fed Winehouse Crack

Couple Fed Winehouse Crack

A sexually curious middle aged couple have admitted supplying drugs to the singer Amy Winehouse. The Drugs in question, called 'loopy juice', are a silly combination of crack cocaine, ecstacy and Um Bongo fruit based beverages. The couple, who...

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Funny story: Scientists Rediscover the Joys of Methanol

Scientists Rediscover the Joys of Methanol

LITTLE ROCKS, AK - Scientists in this town have discovered a "new" way to get high with everyday household items. I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement to get this story, but being basically a crook, I gleefully reveal the details herein. No, this is no candy and soda mixture that you make gushers of foaming mess up your nose with. I'm talking about heavily altered states of reality here.

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Funny story: White Lines Appalled By Negative Connotations

White Lines Appalled By Negative Connotations

A series of white road markings in Mudchute, London have spoken out against the negative image that cocaine has given them. The issue arose after police were called to a supposedly drug-addled mania which turned out to be a series of freshly painted...

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Funny story: Parents Use Dogs to Sniff Scent of Drugs on Teens

Parents Use Dogs to Sniff Scent of Drugs on Teens

Parents in Snifataway, New York, attempting a novel approach at detecting teen drug use, are encountering unexpected results. Employing dogs trained to sniff out contraband from international shipping containers, borrowed from the New York Port Au...

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