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Funny satire stories about Death

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Funny story: Saint Peter Orders Halt To Celebrity Deaths!

Saint Peter Orders Halt To Celebrity Deaths!

This morning Pope Benedict XVI announced that he had received a note from Saint Peter that, if it's not too much trouble, would you have them to hold off with the celebrity deaths for awhile. The note continued to say: While Farrah is only admiring herself and her reflection in the streets of gold even outside the gate, she won't get her wings until all her records have been checked carefu...

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Funny story: Sales of Gold Coffins Soar

Sales of Gold Coffins Soar

After the announcement that King of Pop, Michael Jackson, is to be buried in a gold coffin, an American manufacturer has admitted that they can no longer keep up with the supply. Sir Ian Ternment of Luxury Coffins PLC said that his staff were work...

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Funny story: More Hollywood Celebrities to die before Year Ends

More Hollywood Celebrities to die before Year Ends

A French mystic has predicted that more Hollywood stars will die before the end of this year. Nostrodamus - who writes a load of vague shite in 'rhyming couplets' - issued a warning to all the Hollywood jet set: "Come the earthy solar bend Th...

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Funny story: So Many famous people dying! WHO'S NEXT?

So Many famous people dying! WHO'S NEXT?

Los Angeles California - Celebrites from Britney Spears to Brad Pitt are scared they will be next to die. Brad Pitt is quoted as saying "God must be mad as hell at hollywood star's because he keep's killing us off one by one." Also Britney Sp...

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Funny story: Vince, the 'Sham-WOW' Guy Should Have Died Instead of Billy Mays(!)

Vince, the 'Sham-WOW' Guy Should Have Died Instead of Billy Mays(!)

The public has spoken: Vince, the much despised 'Sham-WOW' guy should be six feet under instead of Billy Mays. Mays, the enthusiastic spokesman for miracle cleaning products was best known for his LOUD late-night TV commercials and his full, magni...

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Funny story: Jackson's Hyperbaric Chamber Failed, Say Engineers

Jackson's Hyperbaric Chamber Failed, Say Engineers

LOS ANGELES, CA - The tragic loss of the King of Pop has been blamed on the mechanical failure of a crucial valve used to regulate the pressure in Jackson's hyperbaric chamber, say hydro-mechanical engineers who inspected the equipment earlier today...

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Funny story: Micheal Jackson was killed by Bubbles

Micheal Jackson was killed by Bubbles

Micheal Jackson may have been the victim of his beloved chimp Bubbles. The mischievous monkey was a known sex offender (which is why Jackson bought him in the first place) and had a legendary temper which could turn nasty in an instant. Mysteri...

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Funny story: Michael Jackson was Pregnant

Michael Jackson was Pregnant

Shocking reports are being heard coming from the inner sanctum of the Jackson death ranch saying that the beloved 'King of Poop' was pregnant when he died. The states coroner's office have refused to either acknowledge of refute the suggestions th...

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Funny story: Michael Jackson "King of Pop" dies on the toilet like Elvis

Michael Jackson "King of Pop" dies on the toilet like Elvis

It has been reported by unconfirmed sources that the undisputed 'King of Pop' Michael Jackson died while engaged in unblocking his rectum on a gold-plated toilet. The star had just completed a rigorous training session involving weightlifting smal...

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Funny story: Michael Jackson Fakes Death, Goes Into Hiding

Michael Jackson Fakes Death, Goes Into Hiding

LOS ANGELES, CA - Michael Jackson, reported to have died earlier today, actually faked his own death in an elaborate hoax to escape the media, says a source who asked to remain anonymous for her own protection. She claims the body found by paramed...

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Funny story: Inventor Of The Air Guitar, Hector Peckert Found Dead In Closet!

Inventor Of The Air Guitar, Hector Peckert Found Dead In Closet!

Inventor of the Air Guitar, Hector Peckert has died during a solo sex game that somehow went wrong, according to sources in Nagales, Arizona, where he was found dead as a peckertwood on Friday. The body of Peckert was discovered in a hotel room wh...

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Funny story: Dead US man gets parking tickets

Dead US man gets parking tickets

New York - A millionaire philanthropist, Johnstone Harriman III, has been found dead in his stretched limousine, five days after his chauffeur walked away for a cigarette and some take-out food. The chauffeur, Lance Butterworth, succumbed to food poi...

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Funny story: Clown dies prematurely while living

Clown dies prematurely while living

A professional party clown died in London yesterday while performing a duet with an experienced midget, police said today. "Turbee" the Clown was performing the third act of Madam Suzette's "Reggie the Whimsical" when he suddenly collapsed from an...

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Funny story: Undertakers Cut Back On Overtime

Undertakers Cut Back On Overtime

The British Confederation Of Undertakers today announced that it is to cut overtime working to zero levels, and is putting the blame squarely on the shoulders of the government. The restrictions have already been applied to gravediggers and coffin ma...

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Funny story: Woman Killed by Fridge Magnets

Woman Killed by Fridge Magnets

Barnstaple - Sixty-seven year old Marjorie Givens died last week when her refrigerator toppled over on her while she was getting some milk for her tea. Forensic investigation by the local constabulary under the direction of Mike Millington has re...

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Funny story: Baroness Thatcher leaps into action in Somalia. 5 pirates dead, 12 wounded.

Baroness Thatcher leaps into action in Somalia. 5 pirates dead, 12 wounded.

In what many are calling 'Her glorious swan-song', Baroness Thatcher today potentially launched an unexpected violent attack on a small boat of Somali pirates. Enjoying what could possibly have been her last free junket, Mrs Thatcher was flying 50...

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Funny story: Study reveals 95% of the U.S. population have already died

Study reveals 95% of the U.S. population have already died

"By the time I knew about it, it was too late." - Those are the words of Roger Ford, resident of Tuscaloosa, South Carolina, who recently participated in a study supported by the National Institute of Health about the most common causes of death in...

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