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Funny satire stories about Christmas

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Funny story: Tiger Wood's Beer Goggles guarantee a Moose - free Christmas

Tiger Wood's Beer Goggles guarantee a Moose - free Christmas

Tiger Woods, the world famous sex-god announced today, that he had ended the partygoer's nightmare of 'how did the moose get into my bed' with his invention of anti-beer goggles. Hung-over revellers have long been puzzled by the mystery of how the...

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Funny story: Scientology: "12 Days of Xenu-mas"

Scientology: "12 Days of Xenu-mas"

With Advent here, why shouldn't the Church of Scientology have its own Christmas…I mean…Xenu-mas song? Especially after all their troubles this year: "On the Twelfth Day of Xenu-mas, my Xenu sent to me (by way of inter-galactic FedExChurchMember)… 12. (French) Drummers Drumming (us out of France for committing fraud). 11. (Australian) Pipers Piping (up that we kidnap and brainwash folks i...

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Funny story: Angry American act topping UK charts translated into English

Angry American act topping UK charts translated into English

Seventeen years after its single release, Rage Against The Machine's UK chart-topping Christmas novelty record has been translated into the Queen's English. The translation comes courtesy of the Chegwin Institute for Phonographic Operations. A spo...

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Funny story: Santa? A Role Model? Enough already! Give him a break!

Santa? A Role Model? Enough already! Give him a break!

"Santa Claus: a public health pariah?" is the title of a piece that is appearing in the Christman edition of the British Medical Journal (BMJ 2009;339:b5261). What it's essentially saying is that good old Saint Nick should lose all that weight so as to be a healthy role model for our global youth. How much more can Santa do to be politically correct nowadays? He's already done so much in or...

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Funny story: Christmas Cancelled as Santa arrested for grooming kids

Christmas Cancelled as Santa arrested for grooming kids

In an early morning raid police officers from the North pole constabulary child protection squad have sensationally arrested Father Christmas. A police spokesman stated "When we entered the premises we found Mr Claus sitting in front of his comput...

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Funny story: Elves Vow To Strike

Elves Vow To Strike

North Pole - Stanislaw Ladvigdar, President of E.L.F. Local 212, stated that the elves have been working under the same contract for the last 300 years and if a new contract isn't offered by midnight tonight, they are going to go on strike. The El...

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Funny story: Sarah Palin: "Santa Claus or Comrade Claus?"

Sarah Palin: "Santa Claus or Comrade Claus?"

(New York-NY) Sarah Palin took time off from a book signing for "Going Rogue" to make a comment on Santa Clause and Barack Obama. "I wouldn't be surprised if Santa starts chanting "Ho-Ho-Obama. I mean they're both socialists." The comment came las...

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Funny story: Jingle Alert! Jingle Alert!

Jingle Alert! Jingle Alert!

London - Police have issued a Jingle Alert for the following spirits: The Ghost of Christmas Past, The Ghost of Christmas Present and the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come. These three spirits were last seen at the home of one E. Scrooge in London.

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Funny story: Krismasday is coming

Krismasday is coming

In a primary school in Glasgow there was uproar at the children's xmas party when Santa Claus was handing out the presents to the children. Six year old Jamie McGregor was being given his present when he said to Santa in front of all the pupils &...

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Funny story: 12 Days of Christmas Lowered To 10 Days

12 Days of Christmas Lowered To 10 Days

Washington DC - In an effort to lessen strain on Christmas shoppers the Federal Government has cut the last two days from the popular '12 Days of Christmas' song. Holiday Czar Hughby Uugli made the decision after finding out just how much all the...

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Funny story: Debunking Santa - A pessimist's view on Christmas

Debunking Santa - A pessimist's view on Christmas

It's that time of the year again folks; the succulent juicing of the Western economy by the hand of business clad, cigar-chomping corporatists, throwing bones of greed and envy as the masses flock in typical fashion to the corporate parlors, in search of their annual fix. Their children, indoctrinated from an early age to buy into the idea of an obese, sherry-goggled, borderline paedophiliac,...

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Funny story: Elf and Safety

Elf and Safety

It is bad news for children this coming festive period as Santa's annual delivery process has been halted following news that the Elf for Safety has deemed his workshop and delivery methods unsafe. The Safety Elf, Little Paul, concluded a six mont...

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Funny story: Postal Service Warns Presidential Threats Must Be Mailed By Tomorrow For Guaranteed Christmas Delivery

Postal Service Warns Presidential Threats Must Be Mailed By Tomorrow For Guaranteed Christmas Delivery

The United States Postal Service Warned today Dec 16th, that threats to the President must be posted no later than Friday, December 18th to reach the White House in time for Christmas. President Obama is already receiving up to 9,000 per month.

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Funny story: Al Qaeda Advent Calendar

Al Qaeda Advent Calendar

The British government has warned parents to check their advent calendars in the run up to Christmas, because it is believed that Al Qaeda have planted high explosives in the twenty-fifth door of thousands of innocent looking advent calendars across...

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Funny story: Local Man Accused Of Spoiling Christmas

Local Man Accused Of Spoiling Christmas

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was today accused by his usually loving spouse of conspiring to spoil Christmas. Anne Shuttlecock arrived home from work to catch her husband attempting to catch two wabbits in a hutch in the back garden. Assuming th...

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Funny story: Brits hoping to escape horrible, dry Christmas Turkey dinners, forget it, "Britshit Airways" are on strike!

Brits hoping to escape horrible, dry Christmas Turkey dinners, forget it, "Britshit Airways" are on strike!

The annual exodus of escaping Brits wishing to avoid dry Turkey dinners, brussel sprouts, vile stuffing, disgusting Christmas pudding, the stormy , wet , windy weather and their kids sitting like Zombies on their X Boxes, Playstations and new mobile...

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Funny story: North Pole Conglomerate will Merge to Save Christmas

North Pole Conglomerate will Merge to Save Christmas

NORTH POLE: In what could be the most disastrous Christmas ever, the North Pole is making cutbacks this year in all areas of its general business. CEO and General Manager of the North Pole, Santa Claus, made a surprising statement last night abou...

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