The USA, which after nearly 500 years of English settlement has still to learn how to spell English correctly, today announced it was rushing mispronounciations of place names to Haiti in the Caribbean Sea. Spotting a reason to make his feeble Pre...
Once upon a time there was a little boy in Hawaii, and that little boy was scared because he didn't know if he was Kenyan or Hawaiian or American or Serbo-Croato-Irish-Martian. And the boy's mommy moved to the mightiest country in the world, and then went to the USA, and there she married somebody or other with money, boys and girls, and then she sat and thought 'What can I turn my little boy i...
Canadian prime minister Steven Harper met with president Obama in Washington this week to encourage the American president to invade Canada this summer. Unlike other countries that are concerned about a US invasion, Canada relies heavily on the US...
Ladies and gentlemen, and Americans, here is the proud list of all the achievements of the mightiest country in the world, the United States of America, since that famous day in 1776 when the greatest nation on Earth was founded: 1. The invention of the ... of ... OK, let's just skip that one. 2. Winning World War One. Without actually joining it for 3 out of its 4 years. That's the American...
There was widespread panic today in the city of Denver, Colorado, after a bomb nearly went off on a jet plane, but didn't. Thousands of its citizens were in a state of shock, many requiring medical treatment for what officials termed 'the worst case...
1. Inventing a highly poisonous green cleaning fluid for steel battleships, then turning it black and selling it to idiots as the world's 'favourite' soft drink 2. Misspelling English words like 'favourite', the same way inbred morons do in the land that invented the English language 3. Claiming to invent the aeroplane and motor car when Americans didn't 4. Cowardly avoiding fighting in W...
Tired of being laughed at for being the English-speaking world's permanent jokes, the USA today changed their national anthem from 'The Star Bangled Spanner' to the John Lennon song 'Revolution 1', in honour of Englishman Lennon managing to end the USA's feeble involvement in the Vietnam War for them. And also in revenge for any articles here laughing at the feeble USA being rewritten by the s...
Famous German standup comedian and part-time dictator Adolf Hitler today surprised the world by saying he now admires the USA. 'Of course I do', he said from Frau Wizzelhoffen's cake shop in Munich, 'the Americans are now carrying out all my polic...
Anytown, USA - Following the blueprint of several dozen cautionary tales wrote in the early and mid-twentieth century, America has officially become a sci-fi cautionary tale of the kind that used to be called "dystopic". This was discovered by an...
NEW YORK CITY - A spokesperson for the New York City Chamber of Commerce has stated that she received a text message from Kim Jong Il stating that he will arrive in NYC on December 20 to do some Christmas shopping for his family back in Pyongyang, N...
Mr. T J McCorkle, president of a hunt club in Louisburg, NC announced today that their club and others from across the state had petitioned the state to allow them to hunt in Zoos and animal shelters. North Carolina is one of the few states in th...
You know I always thought American's were one of the laziest and fattest nations there was but I was slightly disturbed to find out that the average American walks as little as "75 miles a year" that's 1.4 miles a week, barely 350 yards a day! Th...
(Defecated News) Having deliberated over the last two years, IOC chiefs have rejected the USA's request to consider American 'Football' as a sport worthy of being in the Olympics. Sergio Buttokini, President of the IOC summarised the findings in...
World leaders have come together today to discuss where to go with the policies on climate change. The meeting has taken place ahead of the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change in Copenhagen next week. The meeting was held in p...
The England football team are all set to resume hostilities with their colonial cousins and War Of Independence rivals in the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. Also in group C are Algeria, and Slovenia, neither of whom, quite frankly, are up to much...
President Obama tonight bottled it. He gave a very eloquent speech but he still bottled it. Essentially what he was telling the citizens of the free world was that the United States could no longer afford to wage war in Afghanistan. The cost...
Newcastle united have issued a call for the return of Alan Shearer's priceless painting "Tyne Bridge in Abstract Autumn Sunlight" It was stolen on Wenesday night by the infamous Art Thief Geordie McMaxwell, just hours before it was due to be auction...
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