An embarrassed Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Napolitano, appeared before the press this morning and admitted that the Homeland Security Department, the FBI, the NYPD, and agents of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives(ATF), we...
MI5 have come under scrutiny today as it has emerged the secret service have been using the threat of making people complete DIY tasks as part of their interrogation process. The story came to light due to the claim of a yet undisclosed source rec...
ISLAMABAD, PAKISTAN - Taliban leadership now retract a claim of credit for a plot using an SUV packed with explosive materials to kill Americans in Times Square, New York City. The "correction" to the initial Taliban press release came several hours after pictures of bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad became public. A translation of the Internet video released by the Taliban follows (edited for b...
Disappointed that once again a Muslim terrorist was responsible for trying to incinerate New York City, President Obama ordered Attorney General, Eric Holder, to do everything possible to link Time Square bomber Faisal Shahzad to Tea Party far right...
Somewhere in a Cave - A new video has been released by Al Jazeera that they claim has come directly from Osama bin Ladin in which bin Ladin emphatically states that in no way was the recent idiotic attempt to bomb NY the work of one of its operatives...
Terrorists have caused mayhem and carnage with a series of suicide bombers up and down the UK at Mecca Bingo Halls. Al Qaeda have claimed responsibility, though some suspect that they would claim responsibility for a bus crash on the A1, because A...
New York- After a tourist from Oklahoma shockingly stumbled over a curb in downtown Manhattan today, Al Qaeda in Afghanistan quickly claimed responsibility and vowed that Americans should brace for similar and even more devastating attacks. Whil...
"Hey, it won't suck itself, honey" T-shirt vendor Buck Q. Dumbass, who noticed irate ticket-holders with smoke coming out of their ears hurriedly exiting a theater showing lame Hollywood release 'The Losers', alerted police to what turned out to be a...
Phoenix, AZ - President Barack Obama was detained for a brief period yesterday at the Phoenix, AZ Airport by TSA officials while police determined whether or not to arrest him for not having proper identification with him at the time he touched down...
Government officials have confirmed that Ambassador Tim Torlot is safe and was not injured in the blast which today rocked the Yemen capital Sanaa. The only reported casualty was the suicide bomber himself who was reported to have been wearing a scho...
A New York mother who had engaged in terrorist like activity in an attempt to break up her son's impending nuptials, has announced that she will be turning pro next month. Real estate developer and overbearing mom, Lia Joseph, had done her level b...
The campaign of erstwhile GOP presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, ran into an unexpected snag, Friday, when she was refused entry, on a flight from Baltimore to Pittsburg. "I don't get what the big deal is," said Palin, a lifetime member of the N...
London - (Lava Palaver): Pals of Christmas Day pants bomber Omar Farouk Abdel-Muttalab are livid. Their SqueezyJet no-frills charter flight ploy to test-drive new surgical implant explosives has boobed. Thanks to some blasted volcanic eruption...
IRVING - Jerry Jones decided that it would be a whole heck of a lot cheaper to pay Al Qaeda operatives to destroy the outdated Texas Stadium, which was built in 1971, than to pay an American demolition firm to do the job. Jones said that he made h...
Having examined his "inner self" and finding nothing, it begs the question; is Barack Obama real or merely a meaningless dot in the shifting sands of nihilistic solipsism? Understandably, most of us have not examined ourselves in this way because...
London - (Meltdown): The atomic device is believed to have been hardwired into the North London hospital's foundations circa 1974 by KGB bastards squatting in Michael Foot's potting shed. The 5 megaton AN602 hydrogen bomb - nicknamed the Tsar Bomb...
Negro Johnson the, "hero" of the situation says, "It was nothing, I knew that guy was up to something and plus theres a really hot chick and I want to score!" Abbudin Yaqoot Saquala, a 46 year old male from Islamabad, Pakistan was caught trying t...
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