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Funny satire stories about Death

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Funny story: Womble Faces Murder Charge.

Womble Faces Murder Charge.

Orinoco, the sleep loving Womble from Wimbledon Common, has been arrested and detained on suspicion of murder, after failing a routine drink driving test. The pointy nosed litter picker was stopped just outside Epping forest for driving erraticall...

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Funny story: Man Shot Dead by Interactive Video Game!

Man Shot Dead by Interactive Video Game!

Burbank,Ca.-Amos Walker was such a video game fanatic that he had all three major video game systems, but his favorite was the WEE. So enthralled was he with the system's interactive features that he pre-bought every single interactive title months b...

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Funny story: Supermodel Not Really Found Dead, Just Not Found.

Supermodel Not Really Found Dead, Just Not Found.

A world famous supermodel has been declared dead. Model and actress Theresa Green had been battling weight loss for over a year. She had often come under much scrutiny for her 'less than size 0' look. Her boyfreind and agent Johnny Terra said "...

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Funny story: Horror: Nelly Found Dead.

Horror: Nelly Found Dead.

Shock news this morning as Nelly is confirmed dead. After a long and bitter struggle with several addictions, a long court battle with ex-manager Toby Climatis and several sordid newspaper stories of seduction and sleaze, it is with sad regret th...

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Funny story: "Shocking" Michael Jackson Death Secret!

"Shocking" Michael Jackson Death Secret!

Never-Land Ranch- Yesterday for the first time the family and physicians of the late pop icon Micheal Jackson came out with a somber message for fans of Michael and fans of plastic surgery. It was revealed that the true cause of death wa...

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Funny story: Death form above! Death death...DEATH!

Death form above! Death death...DEATH!

That's what the people of Earth are screaming today as fifteen huge round hot things are heading straight for us from the depths of space! The population of Earth piss in their pants at the prospect of being squished into the galactic equivalent...

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Funny story: Dead bodies make great beer

Dead bodies make great beer

A few years ago I was working offshore in Nigeria, and after a long drive through the bush. During which some nice gentlemen carrying Uzis kindly invited us to sit for a couple of hours under a palm tree while they checked our paperwork, just to make sure some unscrupulous rougues didn't managed to find a reason to fleece us. Finally, after a 24hr drive, I checked into the Lagos Hilton. A pleas...

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Funny story: Condemnation mounts of deadly talking guinea pigs

Condemnation mounts of deadly talking guinea pigs

ELDON IA - Mothers here are condemning local guinea pigs for killing thousands of kids. Organized packs of guinea pigs reportedly attacked Eldon, killing nearly 3,160 children, more than Eldon even has. Most of the victims were chewed beyond recognit...

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Funny story: 'Death Pool' Man Comes Under Police Scrutiny

'Death Pool' Man Comes Under Police Scrutiny

Police are neither admitting nor denying rumours that they have arrested a Shropshire man on charges of multiple homicide after it was revealed that he had been in a so-called Dead Pool game. The man, unnamed for legal bollocks, apparently had sel...

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Funny story: Vampire Jack Michaelson Laid To Rest At Last

Vampire Jack Michaelson Laid To Rest At Last

Los Angeles, California - Vampiric child molester, crotch grabber, and aspiring dancer, Jack Michaelson was today finally laid under the sod, once and for all. The interment ceremony took place today before a handful of anaemic looking people who...

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Funny story: Man Suffocates Performing Sex Act

Man Suffocates Performing Sex Act

Paramedics were today called to a flat in Neasden following reports that a man was experiencing severe problems and breathing difficulties whilst attempting to perform a sex act on a Lithuanian prostitute known only to neighbours as 'Magda' Early...

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Funny story: Edward "Ted" Kennedy: "Top Shelf" or just "Bargain Basement"?

Edward "Ted" Kennedy: "Top Shelf" or just "Bargain Basement"?

(New York-NY) Ted Kennedy, the Lion of the Senate or given his girth more like the Whale, died this week. The 40-year Senator eulogized by politicians while Twitter tweets "Mary Jo Kopechne is probably giving Ted an earful right now as he makes his descent into purgatory for a LONG time." What does it mean, not for the Kennedy legacy but for me? Hey, I never claimed to be a saint or even Irish Cat...

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Funny story: Man Dies of Boredom at Work

Man Dies of Boredom at Work

A 32 year old male office worker died today after overdosing on Excel spreadsheets. The dead man's boss had earlier warned his employee "I tried to stop him, I really did. He started off small, inserting columns and deleting rows. But then he learnt...

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Funny story: Michael Jackson comes back to Life, does the Moonwalk and then Returns to Hell

Michael Jackson comes back to Life, does the Moonwalk and then Returns to Hell

Dead superstar Michael Jackson stunned fucking everyone by returning from the dead and performing an impromptu Moonwalk in front of a local fish & chips shop in Brixton. The creepy-looking corpse star did his trademark dance, grabbed his crotc...

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Funny story: Buddy Holly says he wishes he was Alive

Buddy Holly says he wishes he was Alive

Buddy Holly has communicated with the living for the first time since passing over to the 'Other side'. The original Rock 'N' Roll nerd got in touch with a local psychic and told her that he was "doing well" and to send his love to "mother". Appar...

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Funny story: Michael Jackson's body rejected by science

Michael Jackson's body rejected by science

Michael Jackson's final request before he "Beat It" was that his body should be left to science. However, for the first time ever in its thoudand-year history, science today rejected a bequeathed body when it turned Jackson's body away at the gate...

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Funny story: Oscar Mayer Bites the Big One

Oscar Mayer Bites the Big One

MADISON, WI - Oscar G. Mayer, third Oscar Mayer in a family that created an artificially preserved, mechanically separated food product empire, died today at the age of 95, having achieved nearly twice the shelf life of his company's hot dogs. Ask...

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