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Funny story: Russian Army denies it is invading Denver this month

Russian Army denies it is invading Denver this month

DENVER - General Urineitch retracted his previous announcement that he planned to invade Denver this month. He asks to please not tell anyone they are invading. Sources in Florida, at Disney World, report seeing Russian soldiers in uniform there.

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Funny story: Denver to be liberated by Russian Army

Denver to be liberated by Russian Army

Denver residents are planning to line the streets and welcome the liberating Russian army this month, according to our source, Russian general Urineitch. Despite a puff piece published recently, hundreds of thousands of troops are expected to parade...

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Funny story: Napoleon Society of France Gourmet Dinner to be Held in June 2012

Napoleon Society of France Gourmet Dinner to be Held in June 2012

Paris France: The Napoleon Society of France (NSF) has announced a 200 year anniversary gourmet dinner, commemorating Napoleon's Russian Campaign of June 1812. Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) crowned himself Emperor of the French and King of Italy in 1804. The NSF will host the dinner in the Waterloo Grand Ballroom of the Paris Hilton hotel. Guest speakers throughout dinner include President of...

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Funny story: Russians Outraged at the Treatment of Victor Bout's Mustache

Russians Outraged at the Treatment of Victor Bout's Mustache

Reacting to the sentence handed down by a U.S. court yesterday against arms dealer Victor Bout a.k.a. the 'Merchant of Death,' Russian officials vowed to challenge the ruling, calling it "a tragedy of historical proportions." When asked how anyo...

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Funny story: Romney gets tough on the Soviet Union

Romney gets tough on the Soviet Union

WASHINGTON D.C. - While speaking to Wolf Blitzer, Mitt Romney wasted no time taking President Obama to task on a comment Obama made this week. "I'm very concerned," said Romney from his fallout shelter, "that the President asked Soviet dictator Me...

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Funny story: Ready, Re-Aim, Fire

Ready, Re-Aim, Fire

In an unusual twist of an old axiom, you might say that the President has decided the best defense is a strong offense offense. The latest developments in an unfolding story came about this week after a Wikileaks leak followed on the heels of Mr. Ob...

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Funny story: 'German' Russian banker in Isle of Dogs hit 'n' run

'German' Russian banker in Isle of Dogs hit 'n' run

London - A sub-machinegun toting assailant is being hunted after pumping several rounds of ammo into exiled Russian banker Mr German Gorbuntsov near his Isle of Dogs home today. The former owner of failed Russian and Moldovan banks has been hiding...

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Funny story: Putin demands recount after only 67% of his fraudulently cast votes counted

Putin demands recount after only 67% of his fraudulently cast votes counted

Victorious Russian President Vladimir Putin has demanded a recount of all votes cast in the country's election after it emerged that only 67% of the fraudulent votes he cast were counted. The president, now into his third term, was alerted to the...

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Funny story: Sambas Final Solution

Sambas Final Solution

Ex-Blackburn Rovers captain, Half Man- Half Flesh Fortress, Chris Samba says his move to Mafia legally run Russian side Anzhi Makhachkala was not purely about money. The club which was founded by Russians who saw all the poverty, starvation and c...

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Funny story: Russian Mars Probe Set to Penetrate Earth's Sensitive Atmosphere

Russian Mars Probe Set to Penetrate Earth's Sensitive Atmosphere

Finishing its mission and now on a free return trajectory to Earth, the Russian Mars Probe, also known by developing scientists as the "Burrowing Gerbil", is set for penetration of Earth's atmosphere sometime this weekend. Not planned for survival...

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Funny story: Russians to provide NASA with lunch facilities

Russians to provide NASA with lunch facilities

News is emerging that NASA have approached Russia to provide them with lunch facilities following the retirement of head chef Dave Shuttle. "Dave has been with NASA for many years now," said catering manager, Chuck Bolden. "Most employees at the m...

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Funny story: Jim Carrey Mimes His Way Into Love

Jim Carrey Mimes His Way Into Love

Jim Carrey has been active on the dating scene recently, culminating in his new role as the strict sugardaddy to Russian college student Anastasia Vitkina, more affectionately known as "the whole wheat sugar baby." They met this Winter in New York...

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Funny story: Russia ask Mongolia advice about how to launch rockets!

Russia ask Mongolia advice about how to launch rockets!

After Russia's latest disastrous attempt to launch a Soyuz-2 rocket, which exploded somewhere between here and the heavens, they have decided to ask Mongolia if they could offer them some advice in rocket-launching. The debris of the failed Soyuz...

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney Questioned About Joining Big Money Spending Russian Outfit, replies 'Who the f***ing hell are they?'

Wayne Rooney Questioned About Joining Big Money Spending Russian Outfit, replies 'Who the f***ing hell are they?'

We caught up with Wayne Rooney yesterday, shopping alone on the Manc high street. We initially saw him hiding under a Nike hoodie 37 sizes to small for him (looked like something that'd fit his son Kai), emerging from Bobbers, a hair salon. We shouted his name to try and let onto him. 'Shrek, Shrek!' we screamed. He turned around, saw us, and ran away as quick as he would after looking in...

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Funny story: Russia threaten to "nuke" Europe if the US builds a Disney Park in Poland!

Russia threaten to "nuke" Europe if the US builds a Disney Park in Poland!

Russia have sent out a warning to the US and President Obama that if they build a Disney Park in Eastern Poland they will "nuke" Europe. President Medvedev declared; "I can take US military bases and nuclear rockets in Poland but having Mickey Mo...

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Funny story: 'Mayday! Mayday!' Phobos-Grunt probe signal traced to bottom of Japan Trench

'Mayday! Mayday!' Phobos-Grunt probe signal traced to bottom of Japan Trench

Pacific Ocean - A distress signal from Russia's hapless Mars probe has finally been traced to the bottom of the Ocean slap bang in the middle of the Pacific Ring of Fire. Faint bleeping was picked up late last night by the European Space Agency's...

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Funny story: UFO mothership snaffles up Russia's Phobos probe

UFO mothership snaffles up Russia's Phobos probe

Bloodyvostock - A $160 million Zenit-2SB rocket-powered Phobos-Grunt probe has been gobbled up by a 'massive mother******' just outside the Van Allen Belt distraught Russian space agency sources said today. The huge UFO mothership is known to lurk...

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