The Ministry of Defense today said the reason they recently made the captain of the ill fated Billion Dollar Sub HMS Astute redundant after he recently ran it aground on a mud bank, was that the ill named ASTUTE was no longer needed after a commitmen...
In case you are not aware, the UK government has issued a D notice which simply means that anyone in the UK, needs to ask permission of the tragic Tories and chums, to read US information. Aimed at Wikileaks, latest release of millions of US documents, these D notices are intended to prevent UK residents reading goodness knows what. What is a D notice? Issuing D notices is a rare tool used b...
David Cameron is faced with another gaffe prone supporter. Newly appointed Peer, Howard Flight made the sort of boob his wife might envy when he said the Government policies were encouraging the poor to breed. By having more children those on low inc...
London - (Inbred Ass Mess): "Next thing you know they'll be claiming Child Benefit," disgraced ex-MP Howard Shite told reporters, "bleeding the nation dry with their bloody shagging." The wannabe life peer thinks it's no good giving benefits to un...
It would appear that certain individuals pay no heed whatsoever to lessons which should have been learned long ago. As yesterday's student protest marches erupted in violence in a number of cities, tired critics of Conservative policy could only s...
Members of Parliament and the House of Lords have been told basically to 'leg it,' in the event of a terrorist attack. And security insiders are said to have opened a book on the fastest reactions. An email from Black Rod and the Sergeant at Ar...
David Cameron has introduced an exciting plan to revive the nation. A Misery Measure. 'You will feel so much better if you are miserable' announced Conservative Central Office 'we are suffering from cold blasts due to our windows being removed by wor...
LONDON - A young boy who had escaped from a tour group of the Houses of Parliament had taken control of the British Government, for a range of 20 minutes. Jack Johnson, 10, was lost from his tour group at 3.40pm, and entered the Commons, where he...
Top Bankers meeting in the dungeons beneath the City have decided they must get a Labour Government back quickly. Rioting students have put the fear of God into them as they see only further trouble ahead. Sending students to prison as you try...
Rich families, in the South East of England and Cheshire, ditch their Eastern European au pairs and sign up for £1 an hour, welfare benefit, benefits it is reported. Realising that there was money to be made from poor people on benefits, Aranxta C...
Following news yesterday that Network Rail and Jarvis Rail are being prosecuted over their roles at Potters Bar in 2002. The Government has been hastily preparing for the worst as it emerges that Network Rail could be subject to "Unlimited Fines" if...
Britain has sold the HMS Ark Royal to an Argentinan military historian, along with the Harrier fleet. The spending review means cuts in all areas of public expenditure, including the Armed Forces. Two carriers are being built, and the government h...
Chancellor George Osborne admitted defeat last night in his bid to impose a series of debilitating public sector cuts. A government spokesman announced to a hastily assembled crowd of journalists and fishwives that the proposed budget cuts were to...
After some success in the mid-term US elections, the 'Tea Party' is establishing an English branch to counter the threat of "Commie bastards" in the public sector, trade unions and the BBC. Reflecting the different cultural ideals of the British I...
We are all in this together. This is all about fairness. It's a Dad's Army, Heath Robinson, approach that is condemned to create a disaster. It is reported that Eric (cow eating Desperate Dan double)Pickles is actively encouraging whistle blowers...
LONDON - David Cameron, a public sector worker, was evicted by his home by Mother Nature. He had lived in the building since June with his wife and kids. "It's terrible!" he proclaims. "How on earth could this happen? You know, they say you're...
Tremors were felt throughout Westminster at the news that Labour M.P. Phil Woolas has had his election made void. The LibDem contestant, who lost the election by 103 votes, claimed that Woolas had lied during the election campaign and a Judge has uph...
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