"In an age of obesity and heart disease it is wrong that we cannot give people the information they need to make informed choices about what they eat." we are told by fat bureaucrats. Well don't worry missus, millions of people have already made t...
A regular customer of the local Trader Joe's, known commonly among staff and fellow customers as "the Food Nazi," claimed to have been assaulted by another customer while shopping at the store on Saturday. "It's an outrage," snapped Holly Sheet, 3...
A study by the University of Aldershot led by Mark Lowton has shown that cannibals fed a Mediterranean diet were less likely to suffer coronary disease than those who stuck to their regular diet. Lowton says due to limited funding the study was ma...
I understand, it is for our own good. You lecture perfect strangers in markets to get them to realize they have a choice in the food they buy. Really? We have a choice? I would have never realized that unless you had told me in the most patronizing fashion, which you probably thought was you being nice. I had wanted to tell you where you could go with your "advice" but my children were pr...
The Gourmet Buffet Table Company filed for bankruptcy this week after mistakenly shipping prop wrestling tables out to home centers across the U.S. Normally setting up production lines for home table construction, GBT's folding tables had been kno...
IRVINE, CA - Mexican food chain Baco Tell announced an agreement today with a beef processors to begin selling a beef that is somehow of lower quality than what is currently offered at the restaurant chain. The deal was promoted as an effort to cont...
After reading a story about a man who claims to have survived for 70 years eating nothing Robert Pattinson, is searching for answers as to whether there is any truth about vampires or people eating blood and could they survive on blood alone. Robe...
EAU CLAIRE, Wisconsin - Kelly Clarkson's personal hair stylist Jose of San Jose has revealed that the Texas songstress has been very depressed of late. José, as his Hispanic friends refer to him, was with Clarkson while she accepted a life time ac...
The Thomas' English Muffins we've all grown up with may be hazardous to our health, a new study shows. Dr. Eg Salád, a biologist at UCLA, claims his research shows "the Crannies, when consumed steadily over a period of time, are carcinogenic." "F...
It has finally been publicly announced that the signature cream filled sponge cake product Twinkies, "might be fattening," (along with Ding Dongs, Snoballs, and fruit pies.) The revelation came as a shock to dieticians and health care profession...
Clark Blowton has made headlines again for "The Blowton Diet". While most other diets are based on reducing food intake and increasing exercise the "The Blowton Diet" promises you can eat all you want laying in bed drinking a big bottle of white...
A multibillion dollar worldwide survey of 4 trainee scientists, each educated to a minimum Grade D GCSE (or equivalent), has reached the conclusion that indeed, all food is bad for human consumption. The three year survey funded by the British ta...
Having sent off my latest review, I sat wondering what I could review next when a blue delivery van pulled up outside with a delivery for me. I accepted the four boxes from the lady driver called Tess Coe, or something similar, and took them inside to see what I would be reviewing. Judging by the contents, I would be reviewing party food. First out of the box were small sausages. They were v...
Scientists at Bridlington University have uncovered a "link" between food consumption and weight gain in humans. Dr Wayne Bruce, visiting Professor of Sandwiches from the Barnsley Institute claims that "Fatties" may well eat more food that their natu...
Hard pressed British families will be glad to hear that Walls, producer of their beloved "Banger" is branching out and will shortly be marketing "Pigs Ears" as "a tasty snack the whole family can enjoy anytime! "Gordon Brown was our inspiration. W...
Fast food chains up and down the country are responding to the credit crunch by launching new ranges of tempting meals using less traditional meats. A well known Fried Chicken franchise has launched a new "Persian Chicken" burger and teenagers ev...
Canadian Model Coco Rocha who weighs only 7st 7lbs is being turned down for work on the catwalk because idiots are claiming she is to fat. Now Coco has gone on a diet eating only the breakfast cereal Coco Pops and although she has still not found...
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