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Funny satire stories about Christmas

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Funny story: Toffees to be removed from all chocolate selections

Toffees to be removed from all chocolate selections

The big four chocolate makers in the UK have announced that they will no longer be including caramels in their chocolate selection tins. "They're just not popular," said Heather Feather, head of N├Ęsbury's product range. "Marketing campaign after m...

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Funny story: Department CEOs to Make Christmas Early

Department CEOs to Make Christmas Early

WORLD WIDE- In a move to combat shoppers' complaints of stores selling Christmas related products in October and November, the heads of the major shopping centre chains have petitioned the governments of developed nations to change the holiday to Nov...

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Funny story: Christmas Light De-tangling Contest Erupts in Violence

Christmas Light De-tangling Contest Erupts in Violence

Holy Smokes, VA - The first annual Christmas lights de-tangling contest held at the local BPOE lodge was interrupted late in the evening when one of the contestants, Harvey Smith, pulled a gun on fellow contestant, John Houdini, accusing him of h...

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Funny story: Repurposing the Dreaded Holiday Fruitcake

Repurposing the Dreaded Holiday Fruitcake

With the Holidays almost upon us, our doors are likely to be darkened again by the arrival of an annual housewarming gift, the baked brick that promises edibility but invokes a gag reflex, the one item that when received, forces you into a feigned sm...

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Funny story: Naked holographic Kate & Pippa Middleton pop-up Advent Calendar all the rage for Xmas!

Naked holographic Kate & Pippa Middleton pop-up Advent Calendar all the rage for Xmas!

London - (Reuterus): The Middleton sisters' will launch their titillating nude Advent treat at the Royal Albert Hall this weekend. Advent's meaning of 'the coming' will really burst alive with the bronzed and beautifully Brazilianed gals' naked am...

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Funny story: Diabolical Plot Uncovered

Diabolical Plot Uncovered

Bedbug sniffing dogs, during a routine search of the Zawahee Shipping Company warehouse in New Jersey, discovered a shipment of multi-colored greeting card envelopes, destined for the Al Ahamaamad Printing Company. The envelopes were embedded with be...

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Funny story: White Christmas Highly Unlikely - Met Office

White Christmas Highly Unlikely - Met Office

The Met Office today announced that anybody who was counting on a white Christmas is in for yet another disappointment, because it hardly ever snows at Christmas in the UK - usually, it's more like the end of January when we grind to halt because an...

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Funny story: Shane MacGowan Joins Priests For Christmas Release

Shane MacGowan Joins Priests For Christmas Release

Pogues frontman and notorious hard drinker Shane MacGowan has joined an unlikely team for his latest release. Shane has recorded Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth with Northern Ireland's The Priests. The medley was originally a number one hit f...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Terry Wogan to switch on Christmas Lights

Isle of Wight News - Terry Wogan to switch on Christmas Lights

It is the big Christmas Light switch on in Newport this weekend, and the Council have managed to get Sir Terry Wogan, 71, to press the button, illuminating the pedestrianised areas of Newport shopping centre. Over a thousand bulbs have been installed...

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Funny story: Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown Release New Holiday CD

Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown Release New Holiday CD

Back together and reportedly clean and sober again, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are set to release a new Christmas CD that chronicles the trials and tribulations of their former troubled lives set to the sounds of Christmas. "It was a painful...

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Funny story: Chaos in London as DJ accidentally plays Slade's "Merry Christmas Everybody" 4 months early

Chaos in London as DJ accidentally plays Slade's "Merry Christmas Everybody" 4 months early

There were scenes of panic across London yesterday after a disc jockey working for the city's Capital Radio accidentally played "Slade's Merry Christmas Everybody" 4 months early. Motorists on their way to work, thinking it was already the Christm...

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Funny story: It gets closer by the day

It gets closer by the day

Christmas will soon be here, that wonderful time when the moronic elements can be seen in their millions rushing out to spend someone else's money in a most irresponsible manner and later to pay dearly for the dubious privilege. It's also a truly wonderful time for those fat greasy moneylenders puffing on huge cigars and sweating their overworked knackers off after shagging some money-grabbing lit...

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Funny story: Arizona Has Just Banned The Singing of The Christmas Song "Jingle Bells"

Arizona Has Just Banned The Singing of The Christmas Song "Jingle Bells"

PHOENIX - The Arizona Senate has just voted 97-3 to ban the singing of the all-time classic Christmas song "Jingle Bells." Senator Kipper "Kluxey" Klippstein, of Flagstaff, who authored the proposition known as Arizona Proposition X-19, stated tha...

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Funny story: New Retail Season launched

New Retail Season launched

With only a month to go, many retailers have been caught on the hop by the recent icy weather. Valentine's cards, usually in the shops by late November, are only now starting to appear. Just before Easter eggs. And the 2010 Christmas hamper catal...

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Funny story: But Does Santa Believe in You?

But Does Santa Believe in You?

A week after completing his annual goodwill mission, Santa Claus admitted that for almost two hundred years he's harbored growing doubts about the existence of children. Santa told reporters at the December 26 global press conference and debriefin...

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Funny story: North Pole Offices Flooded with Angry Letters from Children Who Wanted Two Front Teeth but Received Wii Gaming Consoles

North Pole Offices Flooded with Angry Letters from Children Who Wanted Two Front Teeth but Received Wii Gaming Consoles

ANCHORAGE, AK -- Postal workers at the North Pole were inundated this week by millions of letters from children who received video game systems instead of the two front teeth they requested. "I've been good all year," nine-year-old Barry Nostrom l...

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Funny story: "Cold Turkey" perfect recipe for booze & drug excesses at Xmas!

"Cold Turkey" perfect recipe for booze & drug excesses at Xmas!

What to do with left over Turkey bits and bobs is no longer a problem????? After all of the excessive booze & drug abuse over the festive period, scientists, top chefs and Amy Winehouse have discovered the perfect recipe for Hangovers (Jaggedone got cramp HANGING too long OVER the bog) COLD TURKEY!!!!!!! Here are their recipes for those who think it's Easter and Jesus is about to be c...

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