There was chaos at the Britannia Stadium this afternoon when Everton boss David Moyes was sent from the dugout during his side's visit to Stoke, after the referee spotted him wearing a kilt! Moyes, who is Scottish, was deemed by referee Alan Wiley...
The new Sheikh owners of Manchester City have sensationally declared their intention to create GM (genetically modified) -Down Syndrome- players in a London-based laboratory. In a candid interview, Dr. Al-Oilman, the new head of Man City's board...
Under-fire Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has announced in a statement today that, in the face of all the criticism and bad feeling from fans, he has sell the club at the earliest opportunity, to his former employee, Sir King Kevin Keegan. The...
The football community was thrown into turmoil following the Abu Dhabi United groups purchase of yesterdays premier league result. As the official owners of the result they were legally able to change the score to one that they found acceptable.
The Messiah has risen again! Just 8 days after tendering his resignation as manager of Newcastle United, Kevin Keegan is back in gainful employment at St James' Park this morning - as the guy who sells burgers outside the ground! Keegan, 57, resig...
Ashley called, reportedly in the middle of the night, "Hot Coals" Keegan and tried in vain to rekindle the flame of their Newcastle once steamy affair. At one time the couple was inseparable as shown in romantic photos at the racetrack and more priva...
The world's richest football club, Manchester City, have rested their new £33million star Robinho for today's match with Chelsea, after fears were raised that the Brazilian might score an own goal. Robinho was to have signed for Chelsea, but was w...
After his team's magnificent win in Croatia on Wednesday, England boss Fabio Capello is now being hailed as this country's greatest international manager since Steve McClaren. England dealt the Croats a severe drubbing in the 4-1 victory, with pin...
In an event unsurpassed since the moon landings, the recent England victory over Croatia was exposed as an elaborate hoax. Scientists including renowned physicist Professor Hugh Jarse were involved in a form of mass hypnosis not seen since the six...
Theo Walcott, Arsenal's three-goal England teenage matchwinner in Croatia on Wednesday night, has ignited the national team's charge towards World Cup qualification, and done his own personal value no harm either, as shares in him on the Stock Market...
September In London a sizzling afternoon of HOT-HOT-HOT is expected as Brazil come to town to meet a blustery Argentina, with highs of 3-0 and 22MPH westerly winds from Ronaldinho's tooth gap. October Sven will continue to be paid £12,000 a week dole money by the FA and will be seen easing further south claiming he was the one who invented the wristwatch and gave ABBA their big break.
Higgs Boson is to be appointed as new manager at Newcastle. Mr. Boson was last seen managing the CERN team until his disappearance some years ago. The board at CERN have been disparately searching for the elusive Mr. Boson for some time now, and w...
United Nations manager Ban Ki-Moon admits his side may have been tactically naive and shouldn't even have been on the pitch during the last round of the Anglo-American Name Claiming Championships. Peacekeepers were called to the touchline as Brits...
Phil Brown, the Hull City boss, has become the first manager to be charged by the FA with misconduct, arising out of an event during the 5-0 home defeat by Wigan on August 30th, when Brown kicked a water bottle. Under the FA's new 'Respect' progra...
England manager Fabio Capello is under pressure today after his teams' inept performance in the 2-0 win over Andorra, and knows that a similar performance against Croatia on Wednesday may bring the curtain down on his reign in charge. England had...
There was better news today for the ex-Toon hero Kevin Keegan when, after having resigned from the Newcastle United manager's job last week, he was offered a new job: Holding Joey Barton's Coat. Barton, still a player at United, albeit with a six-...
There was joy in the England football camp tonight, as two goals from Chelsea midfielder Joe Cole underlined a comprehensive victory in their World Cup Group 6 qualifying match against Andorra in Barcelona. Andorra, which in Spanish means '11 Dust...
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