VATICAN - Larry King told me the truth about 'balloon boy'. These accounts might not air next week. The Pope sired 'balloon boy' for the express purpose of raising money for wayward nuns, according to Larry's source, Mother Titsworth, mother of...
The Pope shocked the world's religious organisations, when he announced, yesterday, that he was offering a 5 year 'no divorce' warranty on all new marriages in his Catholic churches. This desperate move comes as figures are published to suggest th...
Scientists recently stunned the world by saying that they had discovered the world's first vegetarian spider. "Not so," claim his friends. Spiders the world over have contacted reporters to say that the story is not all that it seems. They ar...
THE VATICAN - Pope Benedict added 5 new saints to the Catholic Saints roster on Sunday then before he rested he added one more name to the list - that of US President Barack Obama. The Pope said he got the idea to include Obama's name after canoni...
The Pope has defended the lewd actions of a number of high profile clergy men claiming that they have not broken Church Law with their actions. The Church has been rocked by a smorgasbord of scandals in recent years from child molesting to wide sprea...
Vatican - (Crucifiction): A top notch cardinal has caused near schism by claiming the next Pope 'could well be a Catholic'. Nigh on seventy years since Russian fugitive from justice Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin became Hitler's Pope Pius XII the Va...
CONGO Africa - As seen in person by this reporter-infiltrator (I cannot reveal my Bishop alias) in secret Bishop meetings here (which also include the Pope and his wife), the Pope said that Africa was great as prey for his religious rubbish. He said...
London - (Altarbuoys!): The last time a Pope visited the UK, back in June 1982, was in the aftermath of the $2 billion collapse of the Vatican Bank. And fifteen days after Pope JP2 Lodge left London for Rome 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi was fou...
Vatican City - Pope Benedict XVI has announced today that he has decided to appoint Kanye West as his special envoy to the Vatican spreading the message of the Catholic doctrine concerning the Church's position on the only acceptable method of birth...
In a startling development The Douche-Baggers (formerly The T-Baggers & Birthers) announced today in a press release that the Pope is a Muslim! The announcement came as a shock to the religous community aaround the world. Many mainsteram Pro...
Vatican City - (Bejaysus! Mess): A self-proclaimed drunk, adulterer, divorcee and pro-choice abortion legislator Kennedy always reckoned himself to be 'in with a chance' for a proper Papal sendoff when the time came. But reports that Pope Joseph R...
(Washington-DC) It's difficult to say who was more surprised when the Vatican announced that it would begin the process of sainthood for William Jefferson Clinton, forty-second President of the United States: Bill Clinton, Secretary of State Hillary...
Pope Benedict XVI today declined to get involved in allegations that a pregnant Carmelite nun was robbed and sexually assaulted whilst delivering succour, salvation, and direct debit forms to lapsed catholics in Salford, Greater Manchester. Emergi...
Pope Benedict has caused a stir with his comments after suffering a broken wrist while holidaying in Northern Italy. "First he exploded into a string of expletives, then he started blaming the gays and the gypsies and the Jews," explains Cardinal...
Vatican Shitty - (ReUterus): "Ja, ven he found out ze missus voz up ze bun klubben after scroo-ing around mit zat asshole George Bush Senior Monsignor Joseph Ratzinger gave her und ultimatum: flush the freak down ze toiletten or it's over, meine lieb...
President Obama donned a postman's uniform and cycled to the Vatican today to deliver a private letter from Teddy Kennedy to the Pope. The letter was so private that only a few closely trusted aides and newspaper editors were informed of the contents. It read as follows: Dear Holy Father, I am suffering from an incurable illness and I don't want to burn in hell. I wish to repent for...
Rome - (God's Banker Mess): President Obama held economic crisis talks with the Pope today before being granted a private audience at the Vatican's secret entombment of Michael Jackson's remains under the Sistine Chapel. The singer's body had been...
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