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Funny story: More Amazing Statistics

More Amazing Statistics

Rising life expectancies and improved health means the population is ageing much more slowly than at the end of last century. The US and Austrian study in the well respected Science magazine makes a number of amazing discoveries. The study also...

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Funny story: Fat is Fatter

Fat is Fatter

As people become more and more obese it is becoming clear that fat people are getting fatter. Hospital beds are collapsing and ambulances are getting puctures because of extereme fatties. Minister of Health, Egbert Skinny, explained to an audie...

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Funny story: Five a day is not enough

Five a day is not enough

Nutritionists working for the Government's Ministry of Health and Safety have announced that the current recommendation of five portions of fruit and veg a day is not enough and it should be raised to eight or nine a day. "We have found that a dec...

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Funny story: Fat People Cause The Destruction Of Humanity

Fat People Cause The Destruction Of Humanity

With news hitting the headlines this week that ambulances are to get bigger, to accommodate the bulging waist lines of the U.K public, at a great cost to the NHS, more shocks are to hit the beleaguered service this week. Tommy Windsail, spokesman...

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Funny story: Lunchtime diner suffers an 'Andy Murray' say paramedics

Lunchtime diner suffers an 'Andy Murray' say paramedics

Paramedics were called to a prestigious Australian restaurant yesterday after what appears to be a diner suffering from an Andy Murray fit. One patron dining at the time said: 'This guy seemed to struggling to finish a piece of steak when he seeme...

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Funny story: Reclusive Curmudgeon and Biochemist "Frankie The J", Invents Cure-All Drug

Reclusive Curmudgeon and Biochemist "Frankie The J", Invents Cure-All Drug

Normally shy and privacy minded biochemist only known as "Frankie The J", has released a series of findings from laboratory drug trials to the New England Journal of Medicine this week, confirming the potency of a newly patented cure-all drug. Rep...

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Funny story: Email your symptoms to your doctor - you know it makes sense!

Email your symptoms to your doctor - you know it makes sense!

In an ongoing trial, some 6,000 patients from Cornwall, Kent, and East London, who are known to have long term illnesses, are having to email in their symptoms rather than get an appointment to see a qualified doctor. It is the intention of th...

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Funny story: Scientists find a link between everything and autism

Scientists find a link between everything and autism

Countless studies have shown that people with Autism are brought up in exactly the same way as children without autism, leading scientists to conclude that it is the studies that are causing autism in children. "These studies should stop at once,"...

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Funny story: Obama Continues to Lose Weight; Experts Say He Could be Being Consumed with Intestinal Parasites And Blame Spam Sandwiches!

Obama Continues to Lose Weight; Experts Say He Could be Being Consumed with Intestinal Parasites And Blame Spam Sandwiches!

Obama watchers have grown increasingly concerned as the 50 year old President appears to be wasting away before their eyes ever since his recent Hawaii get away and his binge eating away from the Secret Food Police hired by Moochelle to strictly enf...

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Funny story: Dutch "Loony" proclaims eating bugs will save the world!

Dutch "Loony" proclaims eating bugs will save the world!

A totally "nutty" Dutch professor called Arnold van Huis has proclaimed that the problems of the world can be solved by eating bugs. Poverty, malnutrition, exploding global population, food shortages, water shortages, etc, can all be defeated if h...

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Funny story: Breastfed Babies

Breastfed Babies

Reports suggest that weaning a baby from as little as four months may help develop the child from attracting allergies. Helga Nipples, spokespersonnage from the Breast Oral Operative Brokerage (BOOB) said that studies found "no compelling evidence...

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Funny story: ATM - Phone - Seat.... Now wash your hands!

ATM - Phone - Seat.... Now wash your hands!

As reported in the Daily Telegraph (11th Jan 2011), Cash machines, chairs/seats, and keypads were found to be contaminated with unwanted bacteria, to a level higher than found in public toilets. Pseudomonades, and bacillus, bacteria which are known to cause sickness, diarrhoea, and cancers, were found on tests carried out on ATMs, Door code-pads, and public transport seating, to a high and dang...

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Funny story: History of Public Health - Part One

History of Public Health - Part One

Scene: Stage is dark. Downstage is a large round table barely seen in the darkness. Suddenly a spotlight is on a person sitting at the table. Gradually, the set becomes more illuminated. Charlie (to the audience): Good evening. Inspector Henri Rochard has had a long and distinguished career in Interpol. During his tenure, he has successfully apprehended drug traffickers, pornographers, an...

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Funny story: New Drug Only Gives Side Effects!

New Drug Only Gives Side Effects!

Eli Willy, a major drug and pharmaceutical manufacturer has announced a revolutionary new drug that only causes side effects. Marketed under the slogan, "If you think yesterday was bad," the drug will be on the market in the near future and will only...

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Funny story: Acton driving school owner who supplied US with execution drugs 'offers to sell Tamiflu to NHS'

Acton driving school owner who supplied US with execution drugs 'offers to sell Tamiflu to NHS'

London - (One-Little-Prick News): As profitable sidelines go selling sodium thiopental truth serum to Arizona State Prison has proved to be a nice little earner. Now Acton's Emergency Stop Driving School owner Mehdi Alavi has offered to put UK do...

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Funny story: Jesus Apologizes for Giving Congregation Hepatitis A

Jesus Apologizes for Giving Congregation Hepatitis A

Heaven - Jesus Christ issued an apology this morning through his spokesman at the Archdioceses of New York, because of what happened on Christmas morning at a local parish in Long Island. "I feel sorry for those people of my flock that had to get...

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Funny story: Health Ad Campaign U Turn

Health Ad Campaign U Turn

As deaths mount due to swine flu, Health Secretary Andrew Lansley has decided to relaunch advertising campaigns to make people more aware of flu injections for at risk groups. This comes days after the same Minister had suggested that Doctors were th...

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