Chelsea manager Luiz Felipe 'Big Phil' Scolari is hovering on the brink of a severe mental meltdown according to friends and club insiders. The pressure on Big Phil - who once chased a player around a training ground threatening to cave his effin...
In an astonishingly embarrasing outburst yesterday in Geneva, Michelle 'Loopy As A Stunt Pilot' Platini claimed to a UEFA policy group that stadium design was deeply flawed. Platini suggested that in every case, stadium roofs were covering the wro...
Manchester City is, as everyone now knows, a very rich club. Few realise the vast extent of their wealth however. It is rumoured that they have the resources to buy Belgium! With Britain sinking inexorably into a deepening depression it falls upon...
Derby County Football Club, who were relegated from the Premier League last season, are still the worst-ever team to have played in the top flight, after West Bromwich Albion drew 1-1 with Portsmouth on Sunday, and surpassed the Rams' record-lowest t...
BURBANK, California - Paris Hilton is known for doing pretty much nothing. The young lady has it made. She is good looking. She is rich. And she can smile and chew gum at the same time. Paris recently appeared on Wyatt Van Cleve's sports show 'The World of Footballs, Baseballs, Basketballs, and Lots of Other Balls.' The show is syndicated and appears on cable's 'Sporting Channel.' Van Cle...
"Just because a footballer has enjoyed a successful playing career with Manchester United, doesn't mean that he will make it in the field of management." These were the wise words of Manchester United boss, Sir Alex Ferguson, today after his side'...
Former Sunderland manager Roy Keane is the talk of Tyneside this morning, after it was reported that the Irishman could be in line to succeed his countryman, Joe Kinnear, at Newcastle United. Keane quit the Stadium of Light on Thursday after 27 mo...
Following the collapse late last night of Chelsea Football Club after the sudden and unfortunate death of Mr. Roman Abramovich, UEFA have announced that the team drawn out of the hat to recieve the blue's Champions League history and current place in...
THE ARSENAL manager, Arsene Wenger, was unable to explain his youthful sides defeat to lowly Burnley in tonights Carling Cup quarter-final clash at Turf Moor. When asked if goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski should have done better after he spilled the b...
Arsenal FC representatives tonight blamed the BNP and a pan-continental conspiracy on their ignominious exit from the the Carling Cup at the hands of unfashionable underdogs, Burnley. 'It's been hell up here,' an Arsenal official said. 'It's freez...
He pipped them all. In a last minute voting frenzy, little known Sunday League footballer Tony 'Twinkletoes' Trundle scooped the Ballon D'Or World Footballer Of The Year award from under the very noses of considerably richer and better looking lumina...
The Premier League has gone BONKERS! On Sunday, Chelsea lost once again at their Stamford Bridge 'fortress', and tonight, at Anfield, Liverpool once again failed to score a goal, and had to be content with a 0-0 draw against West Ham, yes, that's...
Cristiano Ronaldo, the Manchester United whinger sent off in the 1-0 derby win against Manchester City on Sunday, should not have been sent off, and a penalty to United should have been awarded, says Reds manager Alex Ferguson. Ferguson leapt to t...
Following his controversial sending off in the Manchester derby, Ronaldo spoke out for the first time today, 'I thought I heard my mum shout for me to come in for my tea, and as it was my ball, I was taking it home'. Ferguson defended his player,...
Chelsea, the team who, until recently, went 86 games unbeaten at their Stamford Bridge fortress, now can't seem to win there, and lost there again today, 2-1 to north London rivals Arsenal. The Blues suffered a 1-0 defeat to Liverpool on October 2...
In a predictably one-sided game today, underdogs Leeds United were beaten by the once great Histon. Histon's win was put down to the state of the pitch (wet) and the appalling weather which the Leeds players had never experienced in the balmier cl...
Leeds United, the once-great all-conquering heroes of European football, continued their long tradition of becoming giant-killing victims today, when, in the 2nd round, they travelled to Histon FC of the Blue Square Premier League, and so very nearly...
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