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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Peasants Storm White House, Play Soccer with Swiss Guard

Peasants Storm White House, Play Soccer with Swiss Guard

Villagers armed with sticks and pitchforks descended on the White House today, chanting, "Off with their heads!" Alarmed government officials huddled in the Oval Office, while the Swiss Guard was sent out "to deal with the peasants". Despite bein...

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Funny story: Spurs misery continues

Spurs misery continues

Spurs worst ever start to a season has been compounded by problems on the training pitch. It has been revealed that target practice for strikers has been going extremely poorly. A barn had been provided on a two week loan basis to help the hapl...

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Funny story: Everton Bought By Space hopper Inventor

Everton Bought By Space hopper Inventor

Everton football club in an official club statement read by chairman Bill Kenwright today announced that they have been sold to space hopper inventor Cat Deelybopper. Chairman Kenwright announced in a very camp fashion, "after myself and David Moy...

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Funny story: Spurs The Subject Of New Shakespearian Tragedy

Spurs The Subject Of New Shakespearian Tragedy

Tottenham Hotspur, the Premier League football team who just don't know how to win, are to be the subjects of a newly-discovered Shakesperian tragedy to be performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company at Stratford-upon-Avon. The play, as yet untitle...

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Funny story: Hull Fans' Protest Gathers Pace

Hull Fans' Protest Gathers Pace

Following today's routine 1-0 defeat of West Ham at the KC Stadium, a small but dedicated group of supporters stayed behind to voice their displeasure at the running of the club. Shouts of "Sack the Board" and "Brown Out" could be clearly heard as...

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Funny story: Hull City Back Up To Third After Despatching West Ham

Hull City Back Up To Third After Despatching West Ham

Hull City, everyone's favourites for relegation, are back up to third place in the Premier League tonight after beating cash-strapped West Ham 1-0 at the KC Stadium this afternoon. In front of a record 24,896 crowd, Hull dominated the early stages...

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Funny story: Morrissey Arrested In Possession Of A Millwall Brick

Morrissey Arrested In Possession Of A Millwall Brick

There was real controversy after the League One game between Millwall and Leeds United at the New Den this afternoon, when ex-Smiths frontman, Steven Morrissey was arrested by police officers in Los Angeles for carrying a Millwall Brick. Morrissey...

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Funny story: Norwich proven to be shit after match fixing probe

Norwich proven to be shit after match fixing probe

Norwich City FC was relieved after being cleared of any wrong doing concerning match fixing. Even though the Norwich goalkeeper made the mother of all clangers. The defence were permanently asleep. The midfield kept giving the ball away. And the...

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Funny story: Thierry Henry To Sign For Man City In January

Thierry Henry To Sign For Man City In January

Thierry Henry, the unsettled French footballer currently plying his trade in Spain at Barcelona, is in line for a January transfer to Manchester City. Henry, who previously played in England for Arsenal, has become disillusioned with life at the N...

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Funny story: England pre Capello was a circus claims Ferdinand

England pre Capello was a circus claims Ferdinand

England football team vice captain, Rio Ferdinand, rather honestly told journalist that under the previous two regimes the team had a circus feel about it. He was commenting on some of the off field aspects between games not when they were on pitc...

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Funny story: Blind-eyed Refs To get New Powers

Blind-eyed Refs To get New Powers

Football referees are to be given increased powers to sanction the ever-dwindling number of professional players committing fouls and cheating. From next Tuesday, in addition to traditional finger-wagging, FIFA will grant refs the power of reaso...

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Funny story: England Ready For Belarus Onslaught

England Ready For Belarus Onslaught

After last weekend's controversial booing scenes at Wembley during their World Cup qualifier against Kazakhstan, England are bracing themselves for a similar onslaught of jeering from a partisan crowd in Minsk tomorrow night. England take on the m...

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Funny story: England Fans Ashley Cole Booing Explained: Nothing To Do With Backpass

England Fans Ashley Cole Booing Explained: Nothing To Do With Backpass

England football fans have been speaking on the subject of the booing Chelsea defender Ashley Cole received at their hands, during the World Cup qualifier against Kazakhstan last Saturday - and it seems that the reasons for it were nothing to do with...

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Funny story: Belarus Side Includes Three Terrorists

Belarus Side Includes Three Terrorists

England are expecting an explosive encounter in tomorrow afternoon's Group 6 World Cup qualifier against Belarus in Minsk, after it was revealed that three of their opponents are known terrorists. Andrei Mahmood, Karim Almunij and Tarkem Melshesh...

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Funny story: FA Back Ashley Cole Boo Boys

FA Back Ashley Cole Boo Boys

The Football Asses (FA) have surprised football supporters by giving their full backing to the Wembley Boo Boys who constantly barracked Chelsea defender Ashley Cole during England's 5-1 win over Kazakhstan on Saturday. Cole made a horrendous erro...

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Funny story: White Hart Lane Burger Van To Sell Vegetable Samosas

White Hart Lane Burger Van To Sell Vegetable Samosas

Fans at White Hart Lane have been finding life hard to bear lately, with Tottenham rooted to the bottom of the Premier League table, but there was a new twist to the saga this morning when Ali Ashraf, the man who owns the burger van outside the groun...

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Funny story: X Factor Cheryl Cole To Quit Show After Husband's Wembley Booing

X Factor Cheryl Cole To Quit Show After Husband's Wembley Booing

Cheryl Cole, the X Factor judge, has said she is considering leaving the show as a protest against the booing and barracking her husband, footballer Ashley Cole, received at the hands of 'so called' England fans. Mr Cole was jeered endlessly by 's...

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