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Funny story: What If The Present Republican Candidates Had Lived At Other Times In History

What If The Present Republican Candidates Had Lived At Other Times In History

THE MIDDLE AGES- A WITCH BURNING: SANTORUM: This harlot before us is one of Satan's own who has used her for a tool of His evil! We must burn her until only the ashes of her sinfulness remain. The evidence shows her wickedness: she was seen dancing naked in the moonlight, she does not attend church on the Sabbath day, and she bathes only once a month. This last sin should make her burn all th...

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Funny story: My Worst Nightmare: I Was Married to Newt Gingrich

My Worst Nightmare: I Was Married to Newt Gingrich

I'm coming clean and you are the first to know. If you are a frequent Dating Dementia reader, you'll recall that I seldom remember my dreams. Scientists have established that everyone dreams. I'm sure I do. Yet, for some unknown reason, upon waking I remember nothing about the weird wanderings of my midnight mind. Ignorance is indeed bliss. My bliss bubble was popped early this morning...

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Funny story: The Santorum Sanitarium - Rick Santorum Speaks Up About Mental Health

The Santorum Sanitarium - Rick Santorum Speaks Up About Mental Health

Yesterday afternoon, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum flabbergasted supporters at a campaign rally in western Arizona by discussing the often-taboo issue of mental health - including that of himself and the other presidential candidate...

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Funny story: Gingrich Attacked by Wiccans Seeking Eye of Newt

Gingrich Attacked by Wiccans Seeking Eye of Newt

Late last night while taking his regular "constitutional" (Gingrich's preferred term for his nightly moonlight strolls through the woods, the moniker he feels best demonstrates his passionate commitment to the civil rights propagated by our Founding...

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Funny story: Romney: I'm No Obama, Shows Pictures!

Romney: I'm No Obama, Shows Pictures!

Mitt Romney went out of his way to show his audience yesterday that he was no Obama. "I'm no Barack Obama!", yelled Romney above the crowd roar! "I promise: No more stinking beer conferences! We need sober leaders, not people sitting around the Ro...

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Funny story: Santorum losing support of virtually every American male since declaration of war on pornography

Santorum losing support of virtually every American male since declaration of war on pornography

HARFOLD, Vt. - Rick Santorum has all but lost the always-important 18 to 105 year old bracket of male votes this week regardless of party ties. Both Republican and Democratic, as well as Independent, Green, Tea Party, Communist males reacted in horro...

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Funny story: "Obama wrong on health care, wrong on God and the American way, wrong on the brackets!"

"Obama wrong on health care, wrong on God and the American way, wrong on the brackets!"

The three remaining Republican candidates for President of the United States held a rare joint press conference his morning and issued a statement that most observers are saying will cut across all race, party, gender, income, and ethnic lines. The...

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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh's Wife, Kathryn Warns The Cigar Chomper That He Had Better Stop His "Female Bashing"

Rush Limbaugh's Wife, Kathryn Warns The Cigar Chomper That He Had Better Stop His "Female Bashing"

NEW YORK CITY - From the We All Knew It Was Coming Department comes word that GOP radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh's fourth (4th) wife Kathryn has let the old cigar chomper know that she is not happy with his female bashing antics. In a report f...

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Funny story: Mitt Romney's Travel Menu Confirms a Bland Candidate

Mitt Romney's Travel Menu Confirms a Bland Candidate

Accidentally falling into the hands of reporters yesterday, Mitt Romney's campaign bus travel menu may indicate more about the candidate than he would prefer. Like other candidates on the campaign trail, Romney travels with his own cooking staff a...

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Funny story: Are Republicans Dumbing Down To Lose The Election???

Are Republicans Dumbing Down To Lose The Election???

When Barack Obama selected Joe Biden instead of Hillary Clinton as vice president, the Republican power brokers embarked upon a strategy to win the disappointed and seemingly disenfranchised female Democratic vote: Run someone with a vagina, and Republicans will win. No problem! What difference would it make to women? A vagina is a vagina; a skirt, a skirt. Many called this John McCain's, "Hail...

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Funny story: Southern Republican Primaries Prove that School is Still Spelled with a K

Southern Republican Primaries Prove that School is Still Spelled with a K

Republican primaries continue throughout the south and the fever pitch around voting Obama out of office is building amongst the Christian right and the uneducated middle. Based on some recent quotes, facts, history, and temperance apparently have no...

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Funny story: President Romney's First Hectic Week in Office, Beginning 20 January 2013

President Romney's First Hectic Week in Office, Beginning 20 January 2013

Washington DC: Republican President Mitt Romney and Vice President Marco Rubio were sworn in on the steps of the US Capitol on Saturday 20 January at exactly 12:00 Noon. The new US chief executives and their families attended several inaugural ba...

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Funny story: Insiders Say Mitt Romney To Name Florida's Marco Rubio As VP Running Mate

Insiders Say Mitt Romney To Name Florida's Marco Rubio As VP Running Mate

Although he has stated previously that he doesn't want to run as a Vice Presidential candidate, many say that Marco Rubio would have a hard time turning down the opportunity to become the next Vice President of the United States. "Rubio has everyt...

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Funny story: Joseph Kony 2012 campaign stealing thunder from Paul, Romney, Santorum

Joseph Kony 2012 campaign stealing thunder from Paul, Romney, Santorum

HARFOLD, Vt. - Thanks to a campaign video which has gone viral this week, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum have begun taking a back seat to Joseph Kony and his Kony 2012 campaign. With 62 million hits, Kony 2012 has kicked the asses of any...

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Funny story: Pols pander to pig values - voters needs no big tent

Pols pander to pig values - voters needs no big tent

Recent video clips show sparsely attended Republican Party presidential primary campaign rallies in oversized venues. Rather than broaden its base, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said today the party was achieving its goal of becoming a "small tent"...

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Funny story: Limbaugh's Controversial Show May be Saved with New Sponsors

Limbaugh's Controversial Show May be Saved with New Sponsors

With current sponsors running away from Rush Limbaugh thanks to his latest flap unfairly targeting one woman who appeared in front of congress, Rush Limbaugh's publicist is running just as fast to find a new series of sponsors. Without many option...

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Funny story: Human life begins in the scrotum: Santorum

Human life begins in the scrotum: Santorum

The possibility of arriving at the Republican Convention without a clear-cut leader has become more of a probability since Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney have begun engaging in a pissing contest as to who is more conservative than the other. In rea...

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