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Funny story: Yes, the next Pope could be a Catholic, says prominent wannabe

Yes, the next Pope could be a Catholic, says prominent wannabe

Vatican - (Crucifiction): A top notch cardinal has caused near schism by claiming the next Pope 'could well be a Catholic'. Nigh on seventy years since Russian fugitive from justice Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin became Hitler's Pope Pius XII the Va...

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Funny story: Pope commends Africa for taking his 'spiritual rubbish'

Pope commends Africa for taking his 'spiritual rubbish'

CONGO Africa - As seen in person by this reporter-infiltrator (I cannot reveal my Bishop alias) in secret Bishop meetings here (which also include the Pope and his wife), the Pope said that Africa was great as prey for his religious rubbish. He said...

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Funny story: Pope gets nod to visit the missus

Pope gets nod to visit the missus

London - (Altarbuoys!): The last time a Pope visited the UK, back in June 1982, was in the aftermath of the $2 billion collapse of the Vatican Bank. And fifteen days after Pope JP2 Lodge left London for Rome 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi was fou...

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Funny story: Pope Appoints Kanye West as Maximus Coitus Interruptus Envoy to the Vatican

Pope Appoints Kanye West as Maximus Coitus Interruptus Envoy to the Vatican

Vatican City - Pope Benedict XVI has announced today that he has decided to appoint Kanye West as his special envoy to the Vatican spreading the message of the Catholic doctrine concerning the Church's position on the only acceptable method of birth...

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Funny story: Douche-Baggers claim Pope is Muslim

Douche-Baggers claim Pope is Muslim

In a startling development The Douche-Baggers (formerly The T-Baggers & Birthers) announced today in a press release that the Pope is a Muslim! The announcement came as a shock to the religous community aaround the world. Many mainsteram Pro...

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Funny story: Hitler's Pope gave him his First Holy Communion but Papa Ratzi refused Ted Kennedy Last Frights

Hitler's Pope gave him his First Holy Communion but Papa Ratzi refused Ted Kennedy Last Frights

Vatican City - (Bejaysus! Mess): A self-proclaimed drunk, adulterer, divorcee and pro-choice abortion legislator Kennedy always reckoned himself to be 'in with a chance' for a proper Papal sendoff when the time came. But reports that Pope Joseph R...

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Funny story: Pope Benedict Moves To Make "Saint" Bill Clinton.

Pope Benedict Moves To Make "Saint" Bill Clinton.

(Washington-DC) It's difficult to say who was more surprised when the Vatican announced that it would begin the process of sainthood for William Jefferson Clinton, forty-second President of the United States: Bill Clinton, Secretary of State Hillary...

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Funny story: Pope Benedict Distances Catholic Church From Pregnant Nun Mugging

Pope Benedict Distances Catholic Church From Pregnant Nun Mugging

Pope Benedict XVI today declined to get involved in allegations that a pregnant Carmelite nun was robbed and sexually assaulted whilst delivering succour, salvation, and direct debit forms to lapsed catholics in Salford, Greater Manchester. Emergi...

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Funny story: Injured Pope Orders Those Responsible Rounded Up And Shot

Injured Pope Orders Those Responsible Rounded Up And Shot

Pope Benedict has caused a stir with his comments after suffering a broken wrist while holidaying in Northern Italy. "First he exploded into a string of expletives, then he started blaming the gays and the gypsies and the Jews," explains Cardinal...

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Funny story: Pope ordered Mrs Ratzinger abortion

Pope ordered Mrs Ratzinger abortion

Vatican Shitty - (ReUterus): "Ja, ven he found out ze missus voz up ze bun klubben after scroo-ing around mit zat asshole George Bush Senior Monsignor Joseph Ratzinger gave her und ultimatum: flush the freak down ze toiletten or it's over, meine lieb...

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Funny story: Obama Delivers Letter From Kennedy To Pope

Obama Delivers Letter From Kennedy To Pope

President Obama donned a postman's uniform and cycled to the Vatican today to deliver a private letter from Teddy Kennedy to the Pope. The letter was so private that only a few closely trusted aides and newspaper editors were informed of the contents. It read as follows: Dear Holy Father, I am suffering from an incurable illness and I don't want to burn in hell. I wish to repent for...

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Funny story: Obama in economic crisis summit with Pope 'Joe the Plumber' Ratzinger

Obama in economic crisis summit with Pope 'Joe the Plumber' Ratzinger

Rome - (God's Banker Mess): President Obama held economic crisis talks with the Pope today before being granted a private audience at the Vatican's secret entombment of Michael Jackson's remains under the Sistine Chapel. The singer's body had been...

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Funny story: Ladies Day at the Vatican

Ladies Day at the Vatican

Pope Benedict XVI was in his glory, hosting a Vatican get-together for the spouses of the G8 summit members. All in all, it was a fairly tame event. Italian party planners at the Vatican had suggested that mud wrestling and/or a wet T-shirt co...

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Funny story: Ex-GM CEO to replace ousted pope

Ex-GM CEO to replace ousted pope

The Vatican. He used to oversee the giant company that produced American icon cars such as Chevrolet, Pontiac, Cadillac and GMC trucks, but ousted General Motors chief Rick Waggoner will now be the spiritual leader of the world's 1.3 billion Catholic...

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Funny story: Pope to spend six years in space for NASA

Pope to spend six years in space for NASA

The leader of the Catholic church Pope Benedict XVI, is to spend over six years in space as part of a NASA experiment aiming to discover alien life in the universe. The announcement came after a conference at the Vatican earlier on this week. Dur...

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Funny story: Pope questioned on Jesus Christ's chat show

Pope questioned on Jesus Christ's chat show

Chat show host Jesus H. Christ today gave Pope Benedict the Fourteenth a hard time on his show, 'It Ain't Rocket Science', live on BBC1. As the former Nazi walked on to the stage, he was somewhat taken aback to be greeted by boos from the studio audience, and shouts of 'Liar!', and 'Fascist!', and awkwardly took his seat, dressed in a woman's purple and white dress. The Pope, not the seat, whic...

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Funny story: Mr & Mrs Ratzinger ordered Irish child sex scandal gag

Mr & Mrs Ratzinger ordered Irish child sex scandal gag

Dublin - (Sordid Ass Mess): An ageing octogenarian fascist couple successfully gagged the Irish authorities from naming and shaming a paedophile cult that ran amok among the young and vulnerable for over sixty years. Mr & Mrs Joseph Ratzinger...

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