Paramedics were called to a prestigious Australian restaurant yesterday after what appears to be a diner suffering from an Andy Murray fit. One patron dining at the time said: 'This guy seemed to struggling to finish a piece of steak when he seeme...
Normally shy and privacy minded biochemist only known as "Frankie The J", has released a series of findings from laboratory drug trials to the New England Journal of Medicine this week, confirming the potency of a newly patented cure-all drug. Rep...
In an ongoing trial, some 6,000 patients from Cornwall, Kent, and East London, who are known to have long term illnesses, are having to email in their symptoms rather than get an appointment to see a qualified doctor. It is the intention of th...
Countless studies have shown that people with Autism are brought up in exactly the same way as children without autism, leading scientists to conclude that it is the studies that are causing autism in children. "These studies should stop at once,"...
Obama watchers have grown increasingly concerned as the 50 year old President appears to be wasting away before their eyes ever since his recent Hawaii get away and his binge eating away from the Secret Food Police hired by Moochelle to strictly enf...
A totally "nutty" Dutch professor called Arnold van Huis has proclaimed that the problems of the world can be solved by eating bugs. Poverty, malnutrition, exploding global population, food shortages, water shortages, etc, can all be defeated if h...
Reports suggest that weaning a baby from as little as four months may help develop the child from attracting allergies. Helga Nipples, spokespersonnage from the Breast Oral Operative Brokerage (BOOB) said that studies found "no compelling evidence...
As reported in the Daily Telegraph (11th Jan 2011), Cash machines, chairs/seats, and keypads were found to be contaminated with unwanted bacteria, to a level higher than found in public toilets. Pseudomonades, and bacillus, bacteria which are known to cause sickness, diarrhoea, and cancers, were found on tests carried out on ATMs, Door code-pads, and public transport seating, to a high and dang...
Scene: Stage is dark. Downstage is a large round table barely seen in the darkness. Suddenly a spotlight is on a person sitting at the table. Gradually, the set becomes more illuminated. Charlie (to the audience): Good evening. Inspector Henri Rochard has had a long and distinguished career in Interpol. During his tenure, he has successfully apprehended drug traffickers, pornographers, an...
Eli Willy, a major drug and pharmaceutical manufacturer has announced a revolutionary new drug that only causes side effects. Marketed under the slogan, "If you think yesterday was bad," the drug will be on the market in the near future and will only...
London - (One-Little-Prick News): As profitable sidelines go selling sodium thiopental truth serum to Arizona State Prison has proved to be a nice little earner. Now Acton's Emergency Stop Driving School owner Mehdi Alavi has offered to put UK do...
Heaven - Jesus Christ issued an apology this morning through his spokesman at the Archdioceses of New York, because of what happened on Christmas morning at a local parish in Long Island. "I feel sorry for those people of my flock that had to get...
As deaths mount due to swine flu, Health Secretary Andrew Lansley has decided to relaunch advertising campaigns to make people more aware of flu injections for at risk groups. This comes days after the same Minister had suggested that Doctors were th...
"We are sick and tired," announced the Director of the CDC at a press conference in Atlanta today, "of seeing people and things -- especially Internet stories and rumors -- GOING VIRAL." He continued, "We are stopping it as of today. Gone, kaput...
In a move to save money, the NHS has decided to recycle used body parts and close down all prosthetics departments nationwide. Surgeon General, Sir Cecil stump, outlined the process in a statement to the House of Commons this morning. "We have...
British Cabinet Ministers are concerned about the spread of specific rural contaminations into Government Offices, and Parliament in particular. Secretary of State for the Home Department, and Minister for Women and Equalities - The Rt Hon Theresa...
It was a dark and stormy night. The ER was packed with the usual assortment of back pains, headaches, and cramps. Then he arrived. The "he" was an elderly gentleman being whisked in by wheelchair, head back holding his nose, as drops of blood speckled the floor behind him. Once he was propped up on the stretcher, a cursory examination revealed an arterial pumper emanating from Kiesselbach's...
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