Good evening Sir. Are you ready to order? Why yes, I think I am. Very good Sir, go ahead. Who do I give my orders to? To me, Sir. That's my job, to receive your order. Right. I want you to recite Charge of The Light Brigade for me. Then I would like you to fetch the Chef and I would like you to dance a polka together. Then I want you to go and stand over there, by the castor oil p...
The Christmas period is upon us, and it's a time for much happiness and joy to spread across Earth. Ironically, it's also a time of much misery and sadness, especially for those people who are alone at Christmastime. However, a new initiative star...
Kim Soon Wok today offers us a traditional North Korean recipe called, Boiled Dog's Feet in Rice Broth with Happy Baby's Pudding. Forward: Kim is a third cousin of Dear Leader Kim Jong Il, twice removed, and step daughter of his great half brother's unofficial consort in Bangkok. She holds the kitchen rank of People's Cook 2nd Class and is also a Major in the auxiliary of the 13th Bayonet Char...
The polenta may play a key role in determining the gestation period of humans and other mammals. New research links growth rates of mammals inside the womb to the structure of the polenta and the way it connects mother and baby. Our science and...
Wales- Masterchev was at the bar waiting for his favorite Wale's Ale. Skoob pulled the special lever, releasing the amber liquid from its specially made cask made from virgin teak wood imported from Thailand. The two stared at the glass and regarded each other. Masterchev tried to think of the words to confront his sorrow as he lifted the glass to his lips. Jeanlefete had vanished over a month...
A new brand of fro yo is hitting the market and you have got to try this one 'cause its customers say, "It's better than s*x! Yeah." Lindy Cullman, a former prostitute at the bar Robin Louis and one of the store's most loyal customers says "I rea...
Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson have been commissioned by Parliament to provide recipes to the Parliamentary Canteen. You can print these recipes yourself and prepare the meals so you can feel just like a Member of Parlament. Jamie's Turd in the Hole. Take a pickled turd from the cabinet and fry with a piece of bread with a hole in which to place the turd. After 5 minutes add a sprin...
A study of why the French now live longer than any other nation, shows that food and sex play a major role in longevity. For the past eight months researchers have questioned France's 15,000 centenarians to learn their secret. All confessed to...
Prime Minister, David Cameron, has made a desperate bid to stop the Brussels Sprout mountain getting any bigger. Currently British tax papers are having to contribute £30 million annually to keep the Sprout Mountain in place. Next year the European C...
All the major supermarket chains are taking one more step towards a more efficient future with the soon to be released edible ink in printer cartridges. Tesburys and Sainco, just two of the market leaders will be rolling out the innovative new hom...
Thousands of French took to the streets in protest of the lack of vacation days provided to the rioters while protesting against the change in the retirement policies in the country. One rioter stated "I work hard rioting. I need vacation days to...
SCIENTISTS are pleading with people to exercise common sense after a sudden spike in hospital admissions were linked with canabalism. Patients were admitted into local hospitals and clinics with gashes and bite marks on arms and legs. "I unders...
Local kebab shop and burger van entrepeneur, Ali Bullo today related how a passing staunch vegetarian lost the plot and ordered a bacon sandwich from a burger van parked by Swanwick railway station in deepest Hampshire. According to reports, the v...
A taste for celery is one that many people never acquire, but scientists have just given them a reason to eat it. They have discovered that a chemical found in high concentrations in celery - and in peppers - could halt memory loss as we get older...
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - For the past year or so, former actress Kirstie Alley has tipped the scales at 409 pounds. Well now it seems that one of her long time friends Larleen Brokengate has said that Kirstie has not lost any weight at all which is in co...
With the recent call of progressive groups in San Francisco demanding that McDonald's no longer be allowed to include a toy with every happy meal, the company has shifted focus away from food and has come up with what they believe is a perfect compro...
A report published by the Conservative pressure group, the 1690 Take No Prisoners Committee, has recommended that state schools should be run even more like businesses; in particular restaurants were cited as a suitable model for schools of the futur...
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