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Funny story: Kerry Katona in drug quiz with police

Kerry Katona in drug quiz with police

'Entertainer' (well she does get up to some entertaining stuff does 'our' Kerry) Kerry Katona has been taken from her home by the Wilmslow police for questioning. She was whisked away in an unmarked patrol car - well unmarked apart from the word "...

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Funny story: Baseball Batboy Arrested For Growing Anabolic Steroids

Baseball Batboy Arrested For Growing Anabolic Steroids

DULUTH, Minnesota - When you first look at little 12-year-old Tibbie Stockinette he appears to be just like any other red-blooded American little boy. He has dishwater blonde hair, Colorado sky blue eyes, and nine freckles on his nose. But as the...

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Funny story: Tainted Jackson Drug Recall Hits Hollywood

Tainted Jackson Drug Recall Hits Hollywood

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Two "tainted lots" of a generic version of propofol, a powerful sedative and anesthetic used by pop icon Michael Jackson before his death, have been recalled by the drug maker. The Los Angeles Times indicated police found the drug...

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Funny story: Michael Jackson Commited Suicide During Ninja Murder Attempt While High On M&Ms

Michael Jackson Commited Suicide During Ninja Murder Attempt While High On M&Ms

In a sickening development, it has today been revealed that Michael Jackson was the victim of a suicide attempt by a third party. Jackson had been mainlining M&Ms for days and was on an blissful chocolate high when a would-be ninja assassin bu...

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Funny story: Whorse-doping drug Ketamine removed from Jackson mansion

Whorse-doping drug Ketamine removed from Jackson mansion

Los Angeles - (Toxic Ass Mess): Several kilos of the powerful equine stimulant/NMDA receptor antagonist Ketamine have been removed from Michael Jackson's Bel Air mansion according to press reports. Police said today that the popular party circuit...

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Funny story: Britain Tops World League - AGAIN!

Britain Tops World League - AGAIN!

For the second time in less than a week, plucky little Great Britain has taken the top spot in a world league. Following our triumph in the Worst Enemy Of Iran finals we have once again planted the leather in the back of the net. We are the Wor...

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Funny story: Mexico busts 20 loan sharks as tonne of cocaine seized

Mexico busts 20 loan sharks as tonne of cocaine seized

Yucatan - (Toxic Money Laundering Ass Mess): Mexico's naval drug patrols have busted twenty evil loan sharks after finding a tonne of cocaine hidden inside their bodily crevices. "Something smelled very fishy," Mexican Navy Commander Eduardo Villa...

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Funny story: Mosley coroner slams drug dealers' customer service

Mosley coroner slams drug dealers' customer service

London - (Smack Bong Wallop Mess): Rotten customer service by get-rich-quick fly-by-night drug dealers was strongly criticised at Westmonster Coroners Court today. An inquest into the drug death of Nazi S&M fetishist Max Mosley's son Alexander...

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Funny story: Hollie Steel Disqualified From Britain's Got Talent

Hollie Steel Disqualified From Britain's Got Talent

Hollie Steel, the 10-year-old crybaby, who bawled her way into the nation's hearts with her stunning performance on Britain's Got Talent last night, has been disqualified from the competition, after she tested positive for several banned substances.

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Funny story: £30 million crack bust link as fugitive UK businessman's lover's battered body found in Paris hotel?

£30 million crack bust link as fugitive UK businessman's lover's battered body found in Paris hotel?

Paris - (Merde Alors! Mess): A spectacular £30 million cocaine raid on a Dover-bound British Transit Van... And the inexplicable disappearance of UK businessman Ian Griffin following the discovery of Polish blonde Kinga Legg's naked corpse in th...

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Funny story: Wills and Kate 'cracking up' as French £30 million cocaine bust scuppers royal wedding paycheque

Wills and Kate 'cracking up' as French £30 million cocaine bust scuppers royal wedding paycheque

London - (Bogota Ass Mess): The seizure of 684 kilos of cocaine in a Highgrove House 'Man & Van' in the Pont d'Alma Mater underpass where Princess Diana died has totally scuppered Prince William and Kate Middleton's royal wedding ambitions. Th...

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Funny story: Max 'Nazi-S&M-dungeon-I-think-not' Mosley son found dead

Max 'Nazi-S&M-dungeon-I-think-not' Mosley son found dead

London - (Fascist Ass Mess): Alexander Mosley, 39 year-old son of successful Nazi S&M dungeon story litigant Max Mosley, has been found dead at his Notting Hill home in what police have described as a classic smack-my-ass-up drug overdose scenari...

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Funny story: Prince Phillip caught with ecstasy

Prince Phillip caught with ecstasy

Buckingham Palace - In one of the biggest scandals to rock the monarchy since Henry VIII cut off the wrong wife's head, Prince Phillip, husband of Queen Elizabeth has been caught with 23 ecstasy tablets at a London nightclub. The incident happened...

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Funny story: Iggle Piggle, Upsy Daisy and Makka Pakka held on drugs charge

Iggle Piggle, Upsy Daisy and Makka Pakka held on drugs charge

Three children's TV characters are being held today after a drugs raid uncovered £1000's of heroin and cocaine. Officers from the In The Night Garden drugs squad recovered the drugs after a series of early morning raids carried out on the Pinky Po...

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Funny story: Did Hillary Inhale?

Did Hillary Inhale?

Evidence is mounting that the tentacles of the Mexican drug cartels have infiltrated the highest echelons of the American political establishment. On May 1st, the American State Department, fresh from sponsoring a massacre of 600 odd women and ch...

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Funny story: 'A' Lister's Brother Killed In Suspicious Circumstances

'A' Lister's Brother Killed In Suspicious Circumstances

The brother of an 'A' List celebrity, who we cannot name for legal reasons, was killed last night in east London in what police describe as 'suspicious circumstances'. The man, aged 58 emerged from a pub on Whitechapel Road and appeared to stumble...

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Funny story: Old Drug-Sniffing Dogs Now Junkies

Old Drug-Sniffing Dogs Now Junkies

CORAL REEFER, CA - In a scathing report released today by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), the nation's law enforcement and drug control agencies were accused of leading drug-sniffing dogs into a life of booze, sex, and addiction.

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