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Funny satire stories about Death

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Funny story: The Day the Sausage Died

The Day the Sausage Died

Good-bye, Jimmy Dean Though I hardly knew you at all You really knew how to grind the pork And spice it up just right... So there I was, this morning, riding the bus home from work, and I'm thinking I might make eggs and toast for breakfast when I get home. And I think, hey, some turkey sausage would be good with the eggs and toast. (Turkey sausage because even though I wrote "pork" in...

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Funny story: Scientists Learn Why 13th Century Saint Rose of Viterbo is Dead!

Scientists Learn Why 13th Century Saint Rose of Viterbo is Dead!

Legend has it that 13th-century cool chick Rose of Viterbo stood for hours on a raging pyre without being burned, which is one kick-ass party trick, and could see into the future. What was not known was why this fun-at-parties momma is dead. Rose...

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Funny story: Russell Crowe Denies He's Dead - Justin Bieber Believe's He Is Still Living

Russell Crowe Denies He's Dead - Justin Bieber Believe's He Is Still Living

The world woke up to more refreshing news this morning, Russell "bad tempered" Crowe had crocked it. Sadly though another hoax. Just as the rumour Justin Bieber had passed away to twink heaven. Crowe woke up to find himself being taunted as...

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Funny story: Evil Ex Sells Photos of Gary Coleman Last Moments for Less Than The Cost of a Used Hyundai.

Evil Ex Sells Photos of Gary Coleman Last Moments for Less Than The Cost of a Used Hyundai.

Proving yet again that she is the most evil being in the universe, it has been revealed that professional exploiter and Gary Coleman's ex-wife Shannon Price sold photos of Gary's last moments for just $10,000 Moreover, the pictures were taken by a...

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Funny story: US Porn star jumps off cliff in an attempt to discover the ultimate 'cum job'!

US Porn star jumps off cliff in an attempt to discover the ultimate 'cum job'!

US Porno star, Stephen Hill (appropriate name), searching for the ultimate 'cum job' tried everything and now he's reached his final 'climax'. After years of working in the US porno business as a "big dicked" actor, being sucked, blown and shaggin...

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Funny story: Thai Government Issues Travel Warning for UK

Thai Government Issues Travel Warning for UK

Following the violent scenes of violence and fatal death in the North of England the Royal Thai Government has issued travel warnings for all Thai Citizens prohibiting travel to the UK and the particularly nasty Lake District. Phoenix Joe was th...

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Funny story: Rue McClanahan Dead: Jokes About Her Ancient Vagina Will Live On

Rue McClanahan Dead: Jokes About Her Ancient Vagina Will Live On

Former Golden Girl Rue McClanahan has passed away at age 76. Rue, the Samantha Jones of the geriatric set, achieved room temperature via stroke at 1 AM today, according to her manager. Interestingly, Mcclanahan and Sex and the City star Kim C...

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Funny story: Multiple Deaths Mar College Graduation

Multiple Deaths Mar College Graduation

The entire graduation student population was nearly lost when fifty-three were killed and six injured during the commencement ceremonies at an over-seas junior college. The graduation class had just finished the ritual of throwing up their caps, when...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise Didn't Die in Plumbing Accident - So He Says

Tom Cruise Didn't Die in Plumbing Accident - So He Says

Tom Cruise has laughed off false reports that he died in a plumbing accident, he's alive and well. Rumours began spreading across the internet saying Tom "Couch Jumping" Cruise passed away following a bizarre plumbing mishap while in New Zealand.

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Funny story: A Sad Day As Ray Alan Dies - Lord Charles Vows To Go On

A Sad Day As Ray Alan Dies - Lord Charles Vows To Go On

It is with great sadness today that we convey news of the passing of the most technically perfect ventriloquist of all time. Bar none. Including Edgar Bergen. Ray Alan, revered by many, and a staple of a great many children's lives with Lord Charl...

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Funny story: Sierra Club Wants to Ban In Ground Burials

Sierra Club Wants to Ban In Ground Burials

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- The Sierra Club, reputedly America's oldest, largest, and most influential grassroots environmental organization has begun a major campaign today to lobby Congress to ban traditional in ground burials. Their presser states tha...

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Funny story: Blanket May Be Responsible for Couples Death

Blanket May Be Responsible for Couples Death

DENVER, CO. -- Denver Fire Chief, Jim Sestrich, blames a local couples' death on their new anti-flatulent blanket manufactured by the Better Relations Blanket Company. The blanket, made with activated charcoal fabric similar to that used in milit...

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Funny story: Obese baby found dead, cut out of crib

Obese baby found dead, cut out of crib

A morbidly obese 22 month old baby was found dead in his crib on Tuesday morning. Charlie Ringwort's 165 pound body had to be removed from his crib via special tools and a saw that firemen had on location. The child was then air lifted to hospital, w...

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Funny story: Dead Player Signed By Liverpool

Dead Player Signed By Liverpool

A dead footballer has been signed by Liverpool FC. Croatian soccer star Goran Tunjic has been signed to replace Jose Torres, who is on his way to Chelsea. Tunjic was recently booked for dying on the pitch. This follows a new FIFA ruling regarding...

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Funny story: Research Finds Uncanny Fatality Rates in Terminally Ill Patients

Research Finds Uncanny Fatality Rates in Terminally Ill Patients

Harrison Driftwood, a leading researcher at Townsville's Institute of Biotechnology and Biomedicines, has released a new controversial paper claiming that sufferers of terminal illnesses have an 'alarmingly higher' death rate when compared to suffere...

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Funny story: Chimps feel death - Just like humans

Chimps feel death - Just like humans

Hot on the heels of our exclusive last week - Ape research points the way to origin of religion - comes the results of yet more studies supporting the hypothesis that apes may be evolving their own religion. In one study a group of scientists from...

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Funny story: My Wife's Cats Deserve To Die

My Wife's Cats Deserve To Die

Yes, the headline says it all. My wife's cats deserve to die. Just like mass murderers like Saddaam, just like pedophile rapists like Polanski, just like cult leader scum like Jim Johnson, these cats have no saving graces or redeemable qualities. It was them I was thinking about when I wrote my story on How to Skin a Cat. It was them that I wrote about when I shared this experience. My wi...

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