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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Soccer Stadium Design Is All B*llocks - Michelle 'Nutjobby' Platini Whines.

Soccer Stadium Design Is All B*llocks - Michelle 'Nutjobby' Platini Whines.

In an astonishingly embarrasing outburst yesterday in Geneva, Michelle 'Loopy As A Stunt Pilot' Platini claimed to a UEFA policy group that stadium design was deeply flawed. Platini suggested that in every case, stadium roofs were covering the wro...

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Funny story: Man City to save the British economy?

Man City to save the British economy?

Manchester City is, as everyone now knows, a very rich club. Few realise the vast extent of their wealth however. It is rumoured that they have the resources to buy Belgium! With Britain sinking inexorably into a deepening depression it falls upon...

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Funny story: Derby County Still The Worst Team In Premiership History

Derby County Still The Worst Team In Premiership History

Derby County Football Club, who were relegated from the Premier League last season, are still the worst-ever team to have played in the top flight, after West Bromwich Albion drew 1-1 with Portsmouth on Sunday, and surpassed the Rams' record-lowest t...

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Funny story: Paris Hilton Doesn't Know Diddly Squat About Football

Paris Hilton Doesn't Know Diddly Squat About Football

BURBANK, California - Paris Hilton is known for doing pretty much nothing. The young lady has it made. She is good looking. She is rich. And she can smile and chew gum at the same time. Paris recently appeared on Wyatt Van Cleve's sports show 'The World of Footballs, Baseballs, Basketballs, and Lots of Other Balls.' The show is syndicated and appears on cable's 'Sporting Channel.' Van Cle...

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Funny story: Manchester United Players Don't Make Good Managers, Says Ferguson

Manchester United Players Don't Make Good Managers, Says Ferguson

"Just because a footballer has enjoyed a successful playing career with Manchester United, doesn't mean that he will make it in the field of management." These were the wise words of Manchester United boss, Sir Alex Ferguson, today after his side'...

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Funny story: Roy Keane In Line For Newcastle Post

Roy Keane In Line For Newcastle Post

Former Sunderland manager Roy Keane is the talk of Tyneside this morning, after it was reported that the Irishman could be in line to succeed his countryman, Joe Kinnear, at Newcastle United. Keane quit the Stadium of Light on Thursday after 27 mo...

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Funny story: Hull City given Champions League spot!

Hull City given Champions League spot!

Following the collapse late last night of Chelsea Football Club after the sudden and unfortunate death of Mr. Roman Abramovich, UEFA have announced that the team drawn out of the hat to recieve the blue's Champions League history and current place in...

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Funny story: Wenger "did not zee" entire Arsenal match

Wenger "did not zee" entire Arsenal match

THE ARSENAL manager, Arsene Wenger, was unable to explain his youthful sides defeat to lowly Burnley in tonights Carling Cup quarter-final clash at Turf Moor. When asked if goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski should have done better after he spilled the b...

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Funny story: BNP Intimidation To Blame For Arsenal Exit

BNP Intimidation To Blame For Arsenal Exit

Arsenal FC representatives tonight blamed the BNP and a pan-continental conspiracy on their ignominious exit from the the Carling Cup at the hands of unfashionable underdogs, Burnley. 'It's been hell up here,' an Arsenal official said. 'It's freez...

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Funny story: Sunday League Player Wins Ballon D'Or World Footballer Of The Year Prize

Sunday League Player Wins Ballon D'Or World Footballer Of The Year Prize

He pipped them all. In a last minute voting frenzy, little known Sunday League footballer Tony 'Twinkletoes' Trundle scooped the Ballon D'Or World Footballer Of The Year award from under the very noses of considerably richer and better looking lumina...

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Funny story: Liverpool Fail To Score At Anfield Again

Liverpool Fail To Score At Anfield Again

The Premier League has gone BONKERS! On Sunday, Chelsea lost once again at their Stamford Bridge 'fortress', and tonight, at Anfield, Liverpool once again failed to score a goal, and had to be content with a 0-0 draw against West Ham, yes, that's...

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Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo Defended By Sir Alex Ferguson

Cristiano Ronaldo Defended By Sir Alex Ferguson

Cristiano Ronaldo, the Manchester United whinger sent off in the 1-0 derby win against Manchester City on Sunday, should not have been sent off, and a penalty to United should have been awarded, says Reds manager Alex Ferguson. Ferguson leapt to t...

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Funny story: Ronaldo Saves Face

Ronaldo Saves Face

Following his controversial sending off in the Manchester derby, Ronaldo spoke out for the first time today, 'I thought I heard my mum shout for me to come in for my tea, and as it was my ball, I was taking it home'. Ferguson defended his player,...

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Funny story: Chelsea: Poor Home Form Continues

Chelsea: Poor Home Form Continues

Chelsea, the team who, until recently, went 86 games unbeaten at their Stamford Bridge fortress, now can't seem to win there, and lost there again today, 2-1 to north London rivals Arsenal. The Blues suffered a 1-0 defeat to Liverpool on October 2...

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Funny story: Leeds Pi$$ed on by Histon

Leeds Pi$$ed on by Histon

In a predictably one-sided game today, underdogs Leeds United were beaten by the once great Histon. Histon's win was put down to the state of the pitch (wet) and the appalling weather which the Leeds players had never experienced in the balmier cl...

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Funny story: Leeds United Almost Beat Histon Of The Blue Square Premier League

Leeds United Almost Beat Histon Of The Blue Square Premier League

Leeds United, the once-great all-conquering heroes of European football, continued their long tradition of becoming giant-killing victims today, when, in the 2nd round, they travelled to Histon FC of the Blue Square Premier League, and so very nearly...

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Funny story: Keane Walks Out

Keane Walks Out

Following today's shock defeat by Bolton, Roy Keane has walked out. After leaving the ground he sped home and emerged with his dogs, telling reporters that he was walking out, as the dogs had been inside all day and needed to go for a 'Ronaldo'.

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