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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Damien Duff Regains the Use of His Legs

Damien Duff Regains the Use of His Legs

Following last weeks disturbing revelation that the Newcastle star has become the latest Premier league player to develop 'collapsing leg syndrome' (or CLS as it is now being called in Physiotherapist' surgeries across the nation), fans and Physios a...

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Funny story: David James Loses Use of Arms

David James Loses Use of Arms

Tony Adams, the worried Portsmouth Manager was put under further pressure tonight after today's game against Liverpool where it was proved that finally, after a long and distinguished career, 38 year-old David James has lost the use of his arms.

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Funny story: Hull City Fans Horror At State Of Chelsea Toilets

Hull City Fans Horror At State Of Chelsea Toilets

There was widespread condemnation from Hull City fans at Stamford Bridge today, over what they described as the 'unhygienic state of toilet facilities' provided for away fans at Chelsea. Some fans claimed the toilets were "not fit for animals", an...

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Funny story: Adams : 'Back me or sack m...oh'

Adams : 'Back me or sack m...oh'

Tony Adams, whilst rehearsing his press conference after the impending defeat by Liverpool, was overheard saying 'back me or sack me' by Pompey Chief Executive Peter 'Twenty' Storrie - who promptly did sack Adams before he'd finished the sentence.

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Funny story: Beckham returns to England Squad

Beckham returns to England Squad

Fabio Capello today named his England squad to face Spain in midweek. At a press conference held at the top of the Post Office Tower, he revealed the full squad to the assembled members of the press: 'Beckham.' Mr Capello then left the room, le...

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Funny story: Wolves - 'It's a new year, we must drop points'

Wolves - 'It's a new year, we must drop points'

Embattled Wolverhampton Wanderers manager Mick 'Mick' McCarthy today laid out his plans for the next few months in a press conference following the 2-1 defeat to local Midlands rivals Coventry City. 'My job here is to ensure Championship football,...

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Funny story: Manchester United enter administration

Manchester United enter administration

The world champions Manchester United have been forced to enter administration. They are the first big name football club to fall to the worldwide economic crisis. The club which is owned by a mad fat American fella, said it simply had no choice beca...

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Funny story: Gerrard Could Be Out For Weeks - Liverpool Fans Panic

Gerrard Could Be Out For Weeks - Liverpool Fans Panic

There was much dismay around the Anfield Road Stadium today as the full implications of Liverpool Reds star utility player and MVP Steven Gerrard's hamstring injury became apparent. Club physician Dr Lingerie De'Ath stated that the injury, which r...

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Funny story: Everton v. Liverpool FA Cuptie To Go To Penalty Shoot-Out, After Doubt Cast On 'Goal'

Everton v. Liverpool FA Cuptie To Go To Penalty Shoot-Out, After Doubt Cast On 'Goal'

An emergency meeting of the FA at Lancaster Gate today, has decided that the FA Cup fourth round replay between Everton and Liverpool, should be taken to an extraordinary penalty shoot-out after severe doubt was cast on Everton's 'goal'. Viewers w...

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Funny story: Burton Albion to go straight into Premier League

Burton Albion to go straight into Premier League

Burton Albion who currently lead the Blue Square Conference by 745 points are to be promoted directly into the Premier League. The Chairman was unavailable for comment but would without doubt be delighted at the news. Burton Albion who have n...

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Funny story: FA demand explanation for missed goal

FA demand explanation for missed goal

The Football Association today contacted ITV and demanded to know how a goal was missed during a recent Premier League match. Their complaint relates to an incident when Amir Zaki missed an open goal in Manchester City's 1-0 win over Wigan on 17th J...

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Funny story: The UK's very own Super Bowl porn shambles

The UK's very own Super Bowl porn shambles

London - (Offside Mess): Last weekend's 69 second hard porn interruption of US Super Bowl XLIII was nothing as compared to the UK's very own televised football glitch last night. Two minutes before the end of extra time in the live FA Cup fourth r...

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Funny story: Liverpool to sell Gerrad - After angry bust up with Benitez

Liverpool to sell Gerrad - After angry bust up with Benitez

A furious Rafael Benitez has lashed out against his own captain Steven Gerrard after the pair clashed earlier today. As news filtered out that Gerrad will be out of action for three weeks with damaged hamstrings, the Liverpool boss lost his cool.

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Funny story: Nightclubber Arrested Over Football Allegations

Nightclubber Arrested Over Football Allegations

England and Manchester City nightclub-drinker Micah Richards has been arrested by police following allegations that he took part in a Premiership football match. Richards, 20, is an up-and-coming star of the Premiership nightspot scene, and has so...

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Funny story: Scousers Goosed By Gosling - Steven Gerrard Gutted

Scousers Goosed By Gosling - Steven Gerrard Gutted

Rafia Basket Case Benitez tonight was exposed to further embarrassment and humiliation as his Premiership "contenders" team crashed out of the FA cup to local rivals Everton. Gosling, an eleven year old student of the Everton Academy succeeded in...

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Funny story: Robbie Keane Made Captain Of Sinking Ship

Robbie Keane Made Captain Of Sinking Ship

Robbie Keane, the ex-Liverpool 'subs-bench warmer', who was transferred back to Tottenham Hotspur yesterday, has been handed the captain's armband on his first day back at the ship, and told that the safety and survival of the crew and passengers is...

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Funny story: FA To Legalise Bosingwa Challenge

FA To Legalise Bosingwa Challenge

The Football Association has acted swiftly and decisively to quell a brewing riot over a challenge made by Chelsea star Jose Bosingwa in Sunday's Premiership battle at Anfield. Bosingwa nade the challenge on Liverpool's Yossi Benayoun which would...

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