Mumbai - (Zodiac Mess): Indian stargazers who picked the date for Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan's nuptial conjunction advised on the timing of today's royal announcement. A resplendent Sun trine Jupiter angle straddling the signs of Scorpio...
London - (Rioters): Royal Protection Racket cops sources said today the pair of seedy lookalikes had finally managed to pull it off. Prince William's doppelganger will wed Kate Middleton's body double after getting the nod from the Palace. Year...
London - (Reuterus): Gary Goldsmith is banned from next year's wedding after bringing disgrace to the Middleton family name. Last year he was caught by reporters in a classic red top sting after bragging about his 'By Royal Appointment' status.
It seems this lovely young lady, who has captured all our hearts - not just Prince William's - is destined to be our Queen one day. We know what she looks like and the official life story. But what is she like underneath the royal glamour? What makes her tick? We sent society editor Melissa Blit-Head to find out. Here is her exclusive report... The Hon Jemima Boden-Boden has known Kate...
Breaking News - Prince William and Kate Middleton today announced that they would be attending the wedding of William Duckworth Chad, to Miss Henrietta Huzzah Merrieweather - the twelfth wedding the couple have attended together. When asked if at...
Prince William, second-in-line to the British throne, would seriously like to modernize the Monarchy, challenging the "old-fashioned" way of doing things in the Royal Family. In a candid interview to be aired soon, the Man who will be King hints h...
It is reported that HM the Queen is angry that other royals are fighting a rearguard action to save the RAF bases at Kinloss and Lossiemouth on the Moray Firth, Scotland. Philip of Macedoine is reported to have blasted the Secretary of Defence, Li...
London - (Prenup Mess): An audit of the Palace austerity budget has found millions of pounds raised via home loans on 'royal peculiars'. These shadowy religious edifices come under HM's direct control without the bothersome tedium of Parliamentar...
Kate Middleton, encouraged by Prince William, has undergone breast enlargement, but the operation has turned her into a freak. She now has a large breast on each of the cheeks of her bottom. In order to prevent the British tabloids learning of the...
Wales - (Bangor Cottaging News): Saddlesore local Anglesey man Gareth Williams was seen 'several times' parking his BMX mountin' bike outside Wills' and Kate's North Wales shagging shack, according to reports. The couple's cleaning lady said today...
Sometimes there are enough rumors going around in the grocery tabloids about something, that it actually is confirmed, catching everyone by surprise, and this seems to be the case of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Not one of the Royal Family h...
Will there or won't there be a Royal Wedding? Only her hairdresser knows! Kate Middleton has been hanging around for almost a decade waiting for her Princess moment. Although there has been no official comment from the men in gray suits there'...
Anglesey - (Rutters): The cost of shagging Kate Middleton at a bijou neo-postimperialist newbuild Welsh hideyhole has soared to £1.4 million. Police protection squads will mount a 24/7 guard on William and his stick insect girlfriend at their Holy...
Botswana - (Fluffy Mess): The pair were caught on camera caressing a Gaborone cougar at the Mokolodi nature reserve today. Wills looked flushed with excitement as the cheetah began purring ecstatically when the Prince ruffled its fur and probed it...
London - (Killjoys): "Jolly bad form in Whitehaven, eh?" was the gist of a Palace statement this morning as lackeys struggled to spin a fairytale nuptial announcement in the light of Wednesday's Lake District gunshot massacre. Fawning sycophancy i...
Our next Queen in waiting, the Duchess of Cornwall or Camilla to her chums is reported to have broken a leg. An eye witness said, "No, her ladyship, oh whatever, had not been kicking servants, badly behaved horses or corgis. They fed all the corgi...
LONDON - UK: The Royal rags and Tabloid headlines have been screaming: "Prince William proposes to Kate Middleton" "Wills and Kate to announce engagement" "UK set for Royal wedding" "Wedding hint from Wills and Kate" "November weddin...
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