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Funny story: Nottingham Market Square Demonstrations lose out to JCP phenomenon!

Nottingham Market Square Demonstrations lose out to JCP phenomenon!

The combined demonstrations of the 'Occupation of the Nottingham Market Square', and the 'The Hardest Hit campaign Demo', were put into the shade yesterday, as it was discovered that Two teenagers had obtained jobs through the local JCP (Jobcentre Pl...

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Funny story: Police Spy Shock

Police Spy Shock

It is thought the Police may have gone too far in their latest secret spying operation 'Spoof Tory' in which their recruit Adam Werrity moved surreptitiously into the Ministry of Defence and organised the work schedule of the Minister of Defence, Lia...

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Funny story: The Fan Who Threw The Hot Dog At Tiger Woods Has Been Charged With Assault With A 'Relished Weenie'

The Fan Who Threw The Hot Dog At Tiger Woods Has Been Charged With Assault With A 'Relished Weenie'

SAN MARTIN, California - The directors of The Frys.com Open Golf Tournament have expressed regret at the recent hot dog tossing incident which was directed at Tiger Woods. A spokesperson for the golf tournament Hoyt "Vermouth" Vermeisterson stated...

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Funny story: Met Police delighted with new space hoppers

Met Police delighted with new space hoppers

Moves to improve the mobility of Metropolitan police officers on the beat and to reduce response times to reported crimes are proving highly effective, the chief constable announced today. A think-tank last year advocated a raft of new measures t...

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Funny story: Nottingham's Goose Fair Opens

Nottingham's Goose Fair Opens

On Wednesday the weather was cool and windy, the rain threatening, as I walked down to have a look at the opening of the much longed for Nottingham Goose Fair. I arrived about 1710hrs. It was still light. As I entered from the Mansfield Road entra...

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Funny story: EU Lawmakers Plan Shoe Police

EU Lawmakers Plan Shoe Police

Proposed new European Union regulations could see an increased police presence in some of the great tourist centres. The new law enforcement officials will be tasked with monitoring the footwear of visitors and residents alike and issuing on-the-s...

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Funny story: Police Baffled By 'The Worthing Code' - Not Sure If It's All About Sex, Drugs, Or What!

Police Baffled By 'The Worthing Code' - Not Sure If It's All About Sex, Drugs, Or What!

Senior detectives based in the once sleepy seaside coastal town of Worthing, admitted today that they are "absolutely baffled" as to the purpose behind the so-called 'Worthing Code' - a system of communications devised by somebody in Worthing, which...

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Funny story: Ballroom Dancing Tips for Police Officers

Ballroom Dancing Tips for Police Officers

The life of a police officer can be dreary and unfulfilling. The patrolling of damp, poorly-lit streets, the constant interaction with the dregs of society, the never ending paperwork...It's little wonder that most police officers are regarded by the public as morose and anally focused. But with the Metropolitan Police's 'Ballroom Dancing Tips for Front Line Officers' programme, the way is open...

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Funny story: Scottish Police to Merge

Scottish Police to Merge

The eight Scottish police forces are to merge over the next year to save administration costs. "This will allow us to save money," said stereotypical Scot and leader of the Scottish Parliament, Michael Moore. "Something all stereotypical Scots sho...

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Funny story: Snatch Clapping Outlawed In Grimsby

Snatch Clapping Outlawed In Grimsby

The tradition of Snatch Clapping has been totally outlawed in Grimsby town centre. This ancient fertility ritual was introduce to the British Isles 1200 years ago by marauding Vikings. The first recorded incidence of Snatch Clapping was recorded in 9...

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Funny story: Police praise gangsters for their restraint as only 50 people stabbed at Notting Hill Carnival

Police praise gangsters for their restraint as only 50 people stabbed at Notting Hill Carnival

This year's Notting Hill Carnival passed uneventfully and police praised the public and gang members as reports came in that only 50 people were stabbed. A mere 75 people were arrested for drug-related offences and only 200 police officers were injur...

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Funny story: Ninjas to patrol British cities because the "Old Bill" can't hack it!

Ninjas to patrol British cities because the "Old Bill" can't hack it!

A new law enforcement agency is being introduced into Britain called the Ninja Patrol. It seems that the British police force are totally out of their depth dealing with deviant criminal practices rife in most UK cities, i.e. drug dealing, child pros...

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Funny story: The Reason Why Maria Bello's Boss In The New Detective Show 'Prime Suspect' Better Transfer Her Fast!

The Reason Why Maria Bello's Boss In The New Detective Show 'Prime Suspect' Better Transfer Her Fast!

HOLLYWOOD - A show that has been getting a lot of publicity; too much perhaps is a new show called Prime Suspect. The police show stars Maria Bello as New York City Detective Jane Timoney. And from the looks of the dozens and dozens of network pro...

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Funny story: Hundreds of Visitors to MLK Memorial Accidently Beaten Senseless by Police

Hundreds of Visitors to MLK Memorial Accidently Beaten Senseless by Police

Washington DC - In a tragic accident today in Washington DC scores of visitors to the newly christened Martin Luther King Memorial were attacked by police armed with clubs and dogs in a tragic re-enactment of a 1960's civil rights demonstration gone...

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Funny story: Worthing Prepares For Invasion Of Littlehampton Gang

Worthing Prepares For Invasion Of Littlehampton Gang

Sussex Police were on high alert today preparing to defuse trouble between rival sets of south coast gangs in Worthing. Residents of the resort are anxiously awaiting the arrival of gangs of pensioners from along the coast at Littlehampton. "We...

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Funny story: Baseball Billy Bratton tells Britain to get Batting!

Baseball Billy Bratton tells Britain to get Batting!

Bill Bratton, the former New York police commissioner brought in by Prime Minister David Cameron to advise him on how to go about curbing Britain's street violence, preferably without having to increase the numbers of our police officers on the stree...

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Funny story: Obama dispatches Police Commissioner Gordon to bail out Scotland Yard

Obama dispatches Police Commissioner Gordon to bail out Scotland Yard

Gotham City -- Help is on the way to rescue London's beleaguered Metropolitan Police from a combination of catastrophes involving rioting, looting, burning, and phone hacking. US President Barack Obama has assigned America's most popular law enfo...

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