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Funny satire stories about Kids

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Funny story: Tips for Reigning in Unruly Children

Tips for Reigning in Unruly Children

Deareat Madame Bitters, I'm 63 and the proud grandmother of three wonderful grandchildren. "Kaleb," is five and twins "Karmen" and "Kasey" are four. Their father, "Steve" is my son. Steve and my daughter in law both work full time and I take care of my grandchildren while they work. One of them drops the kids off at 8 am and one of them picks the kids up around 6 pm. This is the routine Monday-...

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Funny story: Aspartame Proved Safe For Infants

Aspartame Proved Safe For Infants

CALCUTTA - Local officials announced that not only was aspartame safe for infants, but that all nursing would be made illegal so that formula containing 1% aspartame by weight, after mixing with water, would be the only food legal to feed infants und...

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Funny story: 'Zero Times Table Scrapped'

'Zero Times Table Scrapped'

Never again will we hear the dulcet tones of 5 year-olds reciting 'one times zero is zero, two times zero is zero' etc. Education chiefs have erased the Zero Times Table recitation from the school curriculum, but deny its another streamlining tactic.

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Funny story: Lewis Hamilton Returns Home To Huge Crowd Of 6-Year-Olds

Lewis Hamilton Returns Home To Huge Crowd Of 6-Year-Olds

British Formula 1 racing driver, Lewis Hamilton, returned to the UK for the first time since he won the World Championship this morning, and was met at Heathrow Airport by a crowd of over 50 shouting, screaming, applauding 6-year-olds. Hamilton, w...

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Funny story: Russell Brand Is Still A Virgin - No Surprises There!

Russell Brand Is Still A Virgin - No Surprises There!

It was confirmed today that the erroneously titled "comedian" Russell Brand, despite promoting himself as a ladies man who is irresistible to all women, and who has sex between six to eight times a day, is, in fact, still a virgin. "That's why he...

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Funny story: Another London teen muder - not gang related...honest!

Another London teen muder - not gang related...honest!

An innocent teenager was stabbed to death today in London who had absolutely no connection to anything whatsoever - especially not all those gangs he used to hang around with. Amacoontoo Mugsgranies from Crapsville, London was walking along the ro...

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Funny story: Joey Barton To Become A Model For Kids

Joey Barton To Become A Model For Kids

Joey Barton, the Newcastle United player just nicely out of prison, has said in an interview that he wants to re-invent himself, and would like to become a shining example to youngsters. Controversial midfielder Barton, 26, hopes he can transform...

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Funny story: Chav culture moves to US

Chav culture moves to US

News from the American colony seems to indicate that one of the candidates has chosen his pit bull terrier as a running mate in the up coming territory elections. Official reaction has been reserved but it is felt that this may be a step too far.

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Funny story: Woman, 89, Busted for Keeping Kids' Balls

Woman, 89, Busted for Keeping Kids' Balls

Blue Tick, Ohio - An 89 year old Ohio woman faces charges of petit theft and grievous bodily harm after being arrested for keeping neighbourhood children's balls. Edna Gonads was taken into custody by Blue Tick sheriff's deputy, Barney Fife, over...

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Funny story: Celebrity baby name scandal

Celebrity baby name scandal

Some think that David and Victoria Beckham started the surreal naming of children craze by naming their first child Brooklyn (after the bridge under which he was conceived), but the fad for bizarre children's names goes much further back, with Frank...

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Funny story: Bastards to be issued with fathers

Bastards to be issued with fathers

A new government initiative aims to redress the issue of fatherless children. The "Fathers for Bastards" campaign is hoped to give the little bastards a chance at 'normal' family life by appointing surrogate father figures to the children who are cla...

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Funny story: TV Supernanny Jo Frost Advises Parents To Get Rid Of Their Children - Quickly!

TV Supernanny Jo Frost Advises Parents To Get Rid Of Their Children - Quickly!

A well respected TV Supernanny has run into controversy this week over her advice to a particularly troublesome family on a housing estate in Liverpool. Rather than counsel them about their horrid children's behaviour, or provide self-help solutions,...

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Funny story: The Children's Bible in a Nutshell (part 2)

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell (part 2)

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, "Close the door! Were you born in a barn?" It would be nice to say, "As a matter of fact, I was." During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also ha...

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Funny story: The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one,' but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!,' and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.

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Funny story: Tooth fairy suspended pending police checks

Tooth fairy suspended pending police checks

Children losing teeth will find no money under their pillows for many weeks as the government has ordered the tooth fairy to undergo police background checks before she can continue working with children. "Employees of all government funded organi...

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Funny story: Palin To Snub GOP By Having 5 More Children Before Age 50...McCain Gets Solution In Nick Of Time!

Palin To Snub GOP By Having 5 More Children Before Age 50...McCain Gets Solution In Nick Of Time!

It's unusual these days for an American mother to have nore than 2 children. The national average for the U.S. is 2.3 children per mom. Enter Sarah Palin, already with 5! "Ever since I can remember, I wanted 10 children. I mean it seemed so natura...

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Funny story: Leona Baxter Annoyed At Her Cover Being Blown

Leona Baxter Annoyed At Her Cover Being Blown

3-year-old Leona Baxter, the MI6 agent who jumped down a storm drain in Durham, in an attempt to capture an enemy agent, is livid at media bosses who in reporting the story, mentioned her name, and have, allegedly, blown the little girl's cover. E...

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