The days of sitting down after a long day may soon be over. In response to a CNN report claiming that sitting for hours can shave years off lives, a residence-challenged man in Miami is calling for the abolition of chairs. "They're a hateful contr...
Experts predict that by the year 2099, eighty percent of the UK's population will suffer from agoraphobia. By then most shopping will be done on line and with unemployment forecast at 90 percent, people will have no reason to leave the house, resu...
When somebody sneezes, it is polite to respond with "Bless You". What do you do if they continue to sneeze, though? This handy guide will guide you through the minefield that is the Etiquette of Sneezing. For the first sneeze, respond with the traditional "Bless You", even if neither you nor the person sneezing has any religious inclination. The response no longer has any religious overtones...
Washington DC: Long painful discussions between Democratic and Republican negotiators have reached common ground on restructuring Medicare to reduce costs without sacrificing medical care for senior citizens. The president called HHS Secretary Ka...
Doctors' leaders today angrily reacted to the news that they were to be treated like every other poor sod. Senior GPs and Consultants looked up from charging around in Range Rovers, guzzling Claret and refusing to do home visits long enough to not...
It seems everyday there is a new way to lower your Cholesterol. You may have heard of eating Cheerios, but that would take weeks of eating and a great-deal of money spent on cereal boxes. What if there was a way to lower your cholesterol instantly with little effort. I met with Dr. Juan Hingo of Harvard University who explained to me that after numerous studies, the institute was able to au...
The British government has come up with a unique plan to raise funds by adding a Calorie Added Tax to all food stuff. This CAT is directly related to the calorie content of food such that one calorie equals one pence. Whilst this will have little...
The world's fattest man, native American, He Who Must Be Fed, has revealed he wants to lose weight. "I'm sick of being called a fat bastard," said Mr Fed 45 stone, a member of the fat belly tribe in Wyoming, USA. When I travelled to his reservation to speak with him, he told me, "I have struggled with my weight since childhood. It's all the fault of the white man. If he hadn't killed all of...
A new superfood to rival blueberries, apples and broccoli is set to hit the shelves. Fans of sea buckthorne say it contains vitamins A, B1, B2, E and up to ten times the vitamin C found in oranges. They also claim that it boosts brain function...
German authorities are today rushing to cover-up an error relating to the latest E-Coli outbreak . It was announced earlier this week that the worst E.Coli outbreak in living memory had been traced to a bacterium found in noodles produced in Germany.
Independent think tank NICE (the National Institute for Compulsory Equality) have today released a report which reveals the shocking difference in life expectancy in different parts of the UK. While inhabitants of Devon can expect to be venerable...
Britain's first Asian-Style Prostrate Examination Clinic was closed down today after a series of complaints by patients. In an unprecedented move, 14 Asian nurses were suspended pending investigation into their medical credentials. The British Med...
Watching police forensic procedural dramas will help you shed the pounds says a top slimming expert. The claim follows months of research involving hundreds of subjects using different diets and exercise regimes. Dr Milicent Gruel, head of Food...
Following an extensive study about the health benefits of drinking coffee, initial results show that regular consumption will dramatically reduce risk for prostate cancer, some heart related illnesses and will improve general stamina at work, around...
President Obama, fresh from his 'I Killed Bin Laden' victory lap around America, has been called out by an Examiner.web "writer" for making the entire text of the Codex Alimentarius, the Necronomicon of food safety guidelines into Federal law. The fo...
In the January edition of the New England Medical Journal, Boston Urologist, Dr. Feest-Juarize Ondispecker, suggests that all men over the age of 60 who have had no sexual activity for six months or more, advise potential partners to update their tet...
Parched, Nevada - With a clumsily taped up and still oozing head wound, George Hardup of Las Vegas has pointed an accusatory finger at neurologist and all around generalized head and brain surgeon, Mr. Dr. Ronnie Elmstein, M.D. Ph.D, saying Dr. E...
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