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Funny story: Doctors' "shock and outrage" at news they are to be done over like the rest of us

Doctors' "shock and outrage" at news they are to be done over like the rest of us

Doctors' leaders today angrily reacted to the news that they were to be treated like every other poor sod. Senior GPs and Consultants looked up from charging around in Range Rovers, guzzling Claret and refusing to do home visits long enough to not...

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Funny story: How Dying Can Lower Your Cholesterol

How Dying Can Lower Your Cholesterol

It seems everyday there is a new way to lower your Cholesterol. You may have heard of eating Cheerios, but that would take weeks of eating and a great-deal of money spent on cereal boxes. What if there was a way to lower your cholesterol instantly with little effort. I met with Dr. Juan Hingo of Harvard University who explained to me that after numerous studies, the institute was able to au...

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Funny story: Government to link tax on food to calories

Government to link tax on food to calories

The British government has come up with a unique plan to raise funds by adding a Calorie Added Tax to all food stuff. This CAT is directly related to the calorie content of food such that one calorie equals one pence. Whilst this will have little...

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Funny story: Lose Weight Red Indian Style

Lose Weight Red Indian Style

The world's fattest man, native American, He Who Must Be Fed, has revealed he wants to lose weight. "I'm sick of being called a fat bastard," said Mr Fed 45 stone, a member of the fat belly tribe in Wyoming, USA. When I travelled to his reservation to speak with him, he told me, "I have struggled with my weight since childhood. It's all the fault of the white man. If he hadn't killed all of...

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Funny story: Latest Superfood Available From Local Man

Latest Superfood Available From Local Man

A new superfood to rival blueberries, apples and broccoli is set to hit the shelves. Fans of sea buckthorne say it contains vitamins A, B1, B2, E and up to ten times the vitamin C found in oranges. They also claim that it boosts brain function...

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Funny story: Germans Admit E-Coli Outbreak Source Mistake

Germans Admit E-Coli Outbreak Source Mistake

German authorities are today rushing to cover-up an error relating to the latest E-Coli outbreak . It was announced earlier this week that the worst E.Coli outbreak in living memory had been traced to a bacterium found in noodles produced in Germany.

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Funny story: Life expectancy gap "must be reduced"

Life expectancy gap "must be reduced"

Independent think tank NICE (the National Institute for Compulsory Equality) have today released a report which reveals the shocking difference in life expectancy in different parts of the UK. While inhabitants of Devon can expect to be venerable...

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Funny story: Mock Doc In Frock Cock Shock

Mock Doc In Frock Cock Shock

Britain's first Asian-Style Prostrate Examination Clinic was closed down today after a series of complaints by patients. In an unprecedented move, 14 Asian nurses were suspended pending investigation into their medical credentials. The British Med...

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Funny story: CSI, Bones - Ideal For Slimmers Says Diet Expert

CSI, Bones - Ideal For Slimmers Says Diet Expert

Watching police forensic procedural dramas will help you shed the pounds says a top slimming expert. The claim follows months of research involving hundreds of subjects using different diets and exercise regimes. Dr Milicent Gruel, head of Food...

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Funny story: Coffee the New Fountain of Youth

Coffee the New Fountain of Youth

Following an extensive study about the health benefits of drinking coffee, initial results show that regular consumption will dramatically reduce risk for prostate cancer, some heart related illnesses and will improve general stamina at work, around...

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Funny story: Obama Signs Entire Codex Alimentarius Into Law, Outlawing Bullsh-t Holistic Nutritional Supplements

Obama Signs Entire Codex Alimentarius Into Law, Outlawing Bullsh-t Holistic Nutritional Supplements

President Obama, fresh from his 'I Killed Bin Laden' victory lap around America, has been called out by an Examiner.web "writer" for making the entire text of the Codex Alimentarius, the Necronomicon of food safety guidelines into Federal law. The fo...

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Funny story: Urologist, Dr. Feest-Juarize Ondispecker, Warns Of Contacting Lockjaw From Sex

Urologist, Dr. Feest-Juarize Ondispecker, Warns Of Contacting Lockjaw From Sex

In the January edition of the New England Medical Journal, Boston Urologist, Dr. Feest-Juarize Ondispecker, suggests that all men over the age of 60 who have had no sexual activity for six months or more, advise potential partners to update their tet...

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Funny story: Patient Cries: "I Was Forced To Do My Own Brain Surgery!"

Patient Cries: "I Was Forced To Do My Own Brain Surgery!"

Parched, Nevada - With a clumsily taped up and still oozing head wound, George Hardup of Las Vegas has pointed an accusatory finger at neurologist and all around generalized head and brain surgeon, Mr. Dr. Ronnie Elmstein, M.D. Ph.D, saying Dr. E...

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Funny story: Black pudding is new super-food!

Black pudding is new super-food!

The centuries-old breakfast favourite, Black Pudding, has been rated as a super-food by leading top nutritionists at the Didcott Food and Drink Research Laboratories. A report reveals that black pudding has now joined the ranks of super-healthy fo...

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Funny story: Child-proof lid proves critical for elderly woman

Child-proof lid proves critical for elderly woman

An elderly woman nearly severed her fingers trying to open a bottle of vitamins. Bits of paper and plastic from the bottle were found scattered around her kitchen after she was rushed to the ER. Vitamins have been under the gun in times past...

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Funny story: Lansley Needs Emergency Care

Lansley Needs Emergency Care

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley's mission to destroy the National Health Service is coming off the rails. Nurses have no confidence in him and he suffeered another setback when he felt ill at their conference. Emergency services were called but...

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Funny story: Andrew Lansley 'Lacks Guts' To Face Nurses' Rally After Youthful Shenanigans

Andrew Lansley 'Lacks Guts' To Face Nurses' Rally After Youthful Shenanigans

Health Secretary, Andrew Lansley, has been accused of having no "guts" after declining to address nurses today. Members of the Royal College of Nurses plan a "no confidence" vote on him after his decision not to follow tradition and take the Minis...

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