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Funny satire stories about Death

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Funny story: Siesmologists Determine Pat Garrett Roles Over In Grave

Siesmologists Determine Pat Garrett Roles Over In Grave

Siesmologists at the New Mexico State University Geology Department have determined that the late Sheriff Pat Garrett has turned over in his grave. The sheriff, most famous for shooting Billy the Kid, was killed himself outside of Las Cruces, New Me...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight Records Mysterious Death of Stranded Colonist; Post Mortem Concludes "Died of Boredom!"

Isle of Wight Records Mysterious Death of Stranded Colonist; Post Mortem Concludes "Died of Boredom!"

Chamber of Commerce officials on the Isle of Wight are looking into the shocking demise of a Colonist stranded on the island after an Irish Low Budget Flight glided into the local airport when lack of fuel kept the plane from reaching Heathrow. Th...

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Funny story: Derek Acorah sets up a coffin making business

Derek Acorah sets up a coffin making business

The amazingly philanthropic psychic medium, Derek Acorah, has moved into retail with a bespoke coffin making business in the Wirral. A close friend of Acorah's, Cathy Passivic, has said it is something that he has been meaning to do for a few year...

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Funny story: Man Killed By Falling Dream

Man Killed By Falling Dream

A Sussex man was killed last night after being crushed by a falling dream. Billy Nash was walking home from the Dog And Gonad public house in Littlehampton when the incident occurred at around 10 o'clock last night. "We are all in deep shock o...

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Funny story: 15 Found Dead In 'Ghastly House Of Horror'

15 Found Dead In 'Ghastly House Of Horror'

Police have uncovered a grisly 'house of death' in Swansea, informants tell us. News is sketchy at this time, but around 15 dead bodies, some seemingly mutilated, were found at an address by a member of the public. "Officers were called to the...

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Funny story: Carnage As Dove Wins Peace Prize

Carnage As Dove Wins Peace Prize

A single white dove has won this years Nobel Peace prize in a shock announcement from the Norwegian Nobel Committee, only to be brutally killed moments later. Gary, a white Columba livia domestica, or white domestic pigeon, was hand picked from ov...

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Funny story: Oldest Brit Eunice Dies At 111

Oldest Brit Eunice Dies At 111

Super sleuth reporter Herr Riballs has learned that Britain's oldest woman, Eunice Crabtree, has sadly passed away at 111. Eunice, who lived all her life in Swaffham, Norfolk, once joked that the secret of her long life was "20 Bensons, Special B...

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Funny story: A Realistic Look At Death

A Realistic Look At Death

When the physical human body completes its cellular evolution and reaches the end of its life cycle, the biophysical and chemical elements that our body's are composed of are organically broken down in mass and density to their most minute molecular levels and used as a source of energy for other living organisms which exist within a microscopic realm. These living organisms which exist within...

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Funny story: Belgians "Will they Blend"?

Belgians "Will they Blend"?

YouTube viral advert creator, Tom Dickenson, has been contacted by the Belgian government to help with their dead. Due to a lack of space for cremation or burial within their borders, the Belgians wondered "Will they blend"? Dickenson is famous fo...

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Funny story: Dead Bodies to be made into Bricks

Dead Bodies to be made into Bricks

The interestingly named CRISP programme (Creative Regional Industrial Symbiosis Programme), is a government-funded project which seeks to find productive and profitable uses for waste products and to direct these to potential users, avoiding land-fil...

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Funny story: Life Expectancy Gap 'Widening'

Life Expectancy Gap 'Widening'

The National Audit Office has today published grim statistics confirming that life expectancy is lowest in the most deprived areas of the UK. The report has found that the average man will DEFINITELY die at 75.8 years old with women faring little...

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Funny story: Is there life before death spirit medium investigates.

Is there life before death spirit medium investigates.

A medium in the spirit world has been trying to discover if life before death exists. Shi Chang a Chinese spirit guide has been trying to contact people on the other, other side to see if life really does exist before death. Much evidence in the spirit world that entities actually live in the so called "physical world" have been shown to be a hoax or fraud. Some mediums in the spirit world have...

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Funny story: Supreme Court: Right to Life Ends at Birth

Supreme Court: Right to Life Ends at Birth

In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court ruled this week that Right to Life ends at birth. The ruling was part of the decision to allow all citizens of the United States to have and to carry weapons. Justice Anthony Scalia speaking for the majority s...

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Funny story: Sergio Vega, Who Tweeted "I was not killed", is (wait for it) Killed.

Sergio Vega, Who Tweeted "I was not killed", is (wait for it) Killed.

Thoughtful Mexican singer Sergio Vega spent his morning addressing false news reports that he was killed in targeted violence over the weekend. He used the afternoon to rehearse for an upcoming concert, and then spent the evening bleeding from mul...

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Funny story: Michael Jackson - One Year On - Still Missed

Michael Jackson - One Year On - Still Missed

A year to the day since the sudden death of the King Of Pop, Michael Jackson, fans the world over held a series of tributes in honour of their fallen idol. In the USA, many TV channels ran MJ (as fans called him) tribute shows, and in the UK, Sky...

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Funny story: Frank Sidebottom bows his big head for the last time

Frank Sidebottom bows his big head for the last time

The legendary funny man from Timperley with the paper mache head, Frank Sidebottom, has sadly passed away. On an unusually hot day in Timperley, Frank had just had a conversation with Little Frank about how Altringham FC's star striker, Chris Seni...

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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Prepares for Untimely Death

Rob Pattinson Prepares for Untimely Death

Former Banality Fair cover star Robert Pattinson went on Timeline to talk about the twilight of his career and his unfortunate demise in the year 2016. "I guess I just thought if too many good things happen, then you're gonna die at 30," said the...

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