Chelsea Football Club has bought Africa in a deal thought to be worth £50m, a statement released to the City revealed today. The deal, expected to generate up to £20m worth of additional revenue each year through the UN 'Balls to Hunger' sch...
England football manager Steve McClanger was "over the moon" this morning after his team systematically dismantled Estonia in their Euro 2008 qualifier in Tallinn.
FRANK 'Lamps' Lampard threw a wet and unpleasantly musty smelling blanket over Chelsea fans celebrations at their historic FA Cup win at the new Wembley Stadium.
Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho's pet Yorkshire Terrier Gullit has gone missing following discussions with police over the dog's legality in Britain.
Chelsea FC's Manager, Jose Mourinho, claims the club's injury problems are so bad he will consider playing as a striker for the FA Cup final on Saturday.
Liverpool - (Ass Mess): The curse of Chelsea Football Club continued its dire course today amid reports that Pepe Reina, the Liverpool goalkeeper whose 'heroic' performance saw his club thrash Chelsea 1-0 in last night's Champions League...
Cambridgeshire - (Ass Mess): The ancient curse of Chelsea Football Club has claimed yet another mysterious helicopter tragedy following the club's devastating 1-0 thrashing by Liverpool FC in the semi-finals of the Champions League.
Frank Lampard, who hasn't scored a goal for England since 2005, is out of the England squad... due to a sore hand.
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