The Monster Raving Loony Party leader Alan "Howling Laud" Hope is preparing to make his speech to the party conference at a time of crisis for the party. Over the last two years the main stream political parties have been encroaching on the Loonies b...
Plans are well advanced for Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, to be buried under the new third runway at London Airport. The offer to Boris of a seat in the House of Lords in return for his silence on the issue has been turned down despite the title...
David Cameron was lying low this morning after the mother of all cabinet shuffles saw him in more trouble than Kevin Peterson after all those disloyal tweets to the Saffers. Cameron sacked Transport Secretary Justine Greening, and was mortified to...
A massive swathe of London is to be converted into one huge airport with seven hundred runways after an argument between Boris Johnson and Patrick McLoughlin escalated. Please note, that Patrick has no relation to Colleen Rooney nee McLoughlin. This...
Floppy haired part-time 'Night-Mayor of London' Morris Johnson today admitted to close friends to a string of errors in the London 2012 Closing Ceremony. The cloth-eared Mayor, who has continually embarrassed the Capital since wrangling the job f...
With the Olympics in full swing, London Mayor, Boris Johnson, is being called on to be at a dozen photo-shoots a day, and even with the Olympic cycle lanes in London he is finding it impossible to get to every engagement on time. Instead, Madam Tu...
The British people had a dramatic change of heart last night and suddenly got behind the Olympic Games being hosted in the East of London. The incredible u-turn came after American Presidential candidate Mitt Romney questioned whether Britain was...
An assassination attempt on the Prime Minister's life was at first suspected this afternoon as he was sitting in the Grandstand at Wimbledon's Centre Court watching today's men's singles tennis final taking place there. Police bodyguards rushed t...
MP Louise Mensch has admitted taking hard drugs in her youth that "messed with my brain". The high-profile Tory backbencher and chick-lit author told of her past after being asked about Justice Secretary Ken Clarke's claim that Britain is losing t...
Metropolitan Police Commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe says he will choose his words more carefully when commenting on his police forces vigilance during the upcoming Olympic Games, especially during discussions with Mayor Boris Johnson. Confusion ar...
Loveable, laughable, but not laudable, buffoon and mayor of London, Boris Johnson has admitted that with only days left before the Olympics is due to begin, that they completely forgot about the equestrian events. "What can I say?" said Boris, sou...
Mad Mayor Of Olde London TownJorris Bohnson has taken a leaf from Dr Zoigbergs famous children's book "Prat In A Cat" and started wearing a large overweight Ginger Tom on his head to official functions. The overweight tom cat Jorris, well known f...
Leyton Orient chairman Barry Hearn has confirmed that his League One club will be applying for a groundshare of the Olympic Stadium with neighbours West Ham United. The Olympic Back Slapping Committee will meet to decide in the weeks leading up to...
Toe-curlingly awkward chat show host, Alan Partridge, has shocked the political world by announcing his withdrawal from the next London Mayoral contest in 2016. The "foot in the mouth" presenter's decision comes after the BBC last night announced...
Because he is London Mayor, Boris Johnson was invited to conduct the London Philharmonic Orchestra this week. Ordinarily, he wouldn't be allowed to wield a sharp stick, however, his vaulted position meant that he was allowed to fulfil his childhood d...
* Who cuts your hair? * Do you model your management style on Basil Fawlty or Gordon Brittas? * How the hell did you get in as London Mayor - AGAIN? Would you still have won if Labour had put someone else instead of Ken Livingstone up against you? * Wasn't it enough making a fool of yourself on comedy panel shows, now you have to do it as Mayor of London? * Is it true you've hired an...
1. Do people ever confuse you with Teresa (no h) May, the 'glamour' model who appeared in the Prodigy music video 'Smack My Bitch Up' 2. Why do so many ships sink on May Day? 3. Do you know where your diary is today? 4. Do you know what day it is today? 5. Do you ever confuse your Diary with your Dairy? 6. Do you know how many units of alcohol you've drunk this week? 7. When David Cameron go...
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