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May appoints Scaramucci

Anthony Scaramucci, Donald Trump's former communications chief, has been surpisingly appointed Head of Mediation Issues for the cabinet by British Prime Minister, Theresa May. "What a colourful fellow, he'll brighten things up around here. Just wh...

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Theresa takes her fidget spinner to G20

While a varied assortment of hard and harmful elements were pitched and hurled in the direction of Hamburg policemen, cars burned and windows shattered, sporadic shouts from local residents such as "Oy, mind where you're chucking that manhole cover!"...

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How gullible, these British...

Arm in arm, two women happily danced, celebrating their booty, while all around went about their lives, numbed and scarred,yet again, bereft of hope and belief. How gullible, these British...Yes, the Prime Minister the country doesn't want, Theresa M...

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Brexit negotiations to be held in Disneyland

With politics and fairy tales converging ever faster, it was announced today that Brexit negotiations with the EU are to be held in Disneyland. Meetings will be chaired by the Mad Hatter, with the Seven Dwarfs taking minutes in rotation. Dopey will b...

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'Tony the Confessor' blares back

Livid at not being asked to lead the Labour charge against Theresa May and the Old Boys, former Prime Minister Tony Blair has pledged he will fight to the death until Britain accepts he's right. "As an ancestor of Ethelred the Unready and, of cour...

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UK welcomes Israel into the Fold

With the breakup of the UK imminent, and Scotland, led by the Lunatic of Loch Lomond, Nicola Sturgeon, shortly on the way out, the UK has been quick to find new brethren. Israel has declared it would be thrilled to replace Scotland should a UK vacanc...

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Empress Nicola tempts London Mayor with Scottish Guile

Funny story: Empress Nicola tempts London Mayor with Scottish Guile

The First Minister of Scotland and SNP leader, Nicola Sturgeon, bent on securing yet another referendum north of the border, is attempting to lure the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, into her lair. In an interview with the BBC, the most prominent Hig...

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Psychiatric Hospitals admit thousands of dual nationality applicants

EU nationals in Britain, ex-pats across Europe and British citizens throughout the world are becoming confused about the options open and closed to them concerning dual nationality, now that Brexit approaches. Psychologists and behavioural therapi...

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Journalist found dead in pool after Trump press conference

Following President Trump's extraordinary press conference this week, new measures are to be introduced at the White House to accommodate journalists. As in aircraft, they will be shown where the nearest exit doors are, prior to commencement. Oxygen...

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Juncker's new agenda for Brexit negotiations

Britons who thought Article 50 of the European Treaty would centre on money and freedom of movement could be in for a surprise. EU President, Jean-Claude Juncker, famously not averse to an early morning beverage, including his favourite breakfast...

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Putin hacks Brexit plans

Yes, he's at it again. After successfully steering the US election in his favour by ensuring hackers released - or fabricated - dubious emails of the Democrat Hillary Clinton, swinging voters towards Donald Trump, the Russian President has now launch...

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Simply the best...B.Johnson wins Liar of the Year Award 2016. 'Akin to Ulbricht and Nixon', says expert

Funny story: Simply the best...B.Johnson wins Liar of the Year Award 2016. 'Akin to Ulbricht and Nixon', says expert

Yes, in the end it was pretty close, admitted jury head, Mark Givens, but Johnson's panache and jocular manner of mendacity tipped the scales in his favour. Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, as is his full name, fully deserved the award for 'Lia...

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Corbyn goes into hibernation

Labour party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, bereft of any concept, strategy or will to challenge or even question the Prime Minister, Theresa May, about what she's doing, or rather not doing with regard to this bothersome Brexit issue, has stated he needs to...

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Refugees scooped out of Lake Erie

Canadian border control boats rescued almost 800 US Americans yesterday seeking to escape the USA in dinghis across Lake Erie. All were wearing T-shirts declaring 'We love maple syrup' and were humming tunes by Justin Bieber and Katie Moore. They wer...

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Harry Potter and the Nipple Pumps - Culture Minister to consider Ban

Her Majesty's Principal Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport, Karen Bradley, has been asked by MPs to reconsider approval of the printing of J.K. Rowling's latest novel, 'Harry Potter and the Nipple Pumps'. "OK", explained the Culture S...

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Right lads, Wall around Britain

If nothing else, Donald Trump's election has at least proven a godsend for the bricks and mortar industry. Walls are in....so to say. In the wake of America's intention to erect a wall along its border to Mexico, Britain's Prime Minister, Theresa...

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Allardyce stumbles over Pokemon Go

The real reason for Sam Allardyce being sacked as England football manager has now come to light. While the official version is that he helped others circumvent FA rules on transfers, insiders have revealed that his obsession with playing games of an...

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Britain's first Minister for Fashion

Prime Minister, Theresa May, has now appointed Britian's first ever Minister for Fashion. Former Lord Chancellor and Brexit architect, Michael Gove, began work yesterday in his new offices just off Carnaby Street. "Couldn't be a better location",...

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Breaking news…

Trump's New Chief-Of-Staff Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin volunteers to be Trump’s new chief-of-staff.

"You're hired."
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