MADISON, Wisconsin - A spokesperson for the governor's office has stated that he wants to thank all of the concerned citizens who have brought the practice of duplicate and triplicate signs to the state's attention. Gideon Hookerfaust, 48, speakin...
Many wonder how it is that a little, forgotten town on the frozen banks of Lake Michigan could become the official first city of football. Most major league football towns are huge mothers like Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver, Atlanta, but the one tiny dollop on the sports map is Green Bay. How so? Let me tell you the story: Once upon a time someone for some strange, mysterious reason a sport was...
MILWAUKEE - Local gynecologist Dr. Wilmer Wigglemeister has practiced in Milwaukee for the past 19 years. But lately he had noticed a drop in the number of patients he was seeing. He talked to fellow local gynecologists and learned that their b...
MILWAUKEE - A Wisconsin gynecologist named Dr. Ashburn B. Bixbocker has found a novel way to increase his sagging number of patients. The Milwaukee doctor consulted a consulting firm and he was told to install a slot machine in his waiting room.
MADISON, Wisconsin - The state known as The Cheese State has just announced that it has just acted on a petition that has been signed by tens of thousands of Wisconsinites. State Senator Bindy Gladys Fogmund, [R-Milwaukee] noted that a vast majori...
Anyone who has spent any time in Colorado or any western ski resort areas has noticed the high density of Wisconsiners living there (to avoid any violent misunderstandings and to remain socially correct, by 'high density' I am referring to the percentage of population, not the thickness of their skulls). There is a disproportionally large population of them coming from a state with only five milli...
I recently bought a burrito and was astounded to see that it was made in the fair city of Minneapolis, a surprise since I had always thought of Minneapolis as being a place so white that it's nickname is 'The Wonder Bread Capital of America'. Burritos are about as native to Minnesota as fish are to the moon. What comes next? Does my chop suey start getting shipped in from Tel Aviv? How is it th...
OSHKOSH, Wisconsin - Paul Ryan has just received some devastating political news. It appears that his grandmother Mayshack Ophelia Woodpeckler, 93, has written him a letter telling him that she has decided that she is going to vote for President O...
BILLINGSGATE POST - As a countermeasure to Paul Ryan's plan to overhaul Obamacare, the White House announced today that the noxious cheese farts emanating from the butts of Wisconsin Cheeseheads in this dairy state will not be covered by what is know...
Baraboo,Wi-Sargent Fred Bekopski sits in his patrol car on a bluff above the Wisconsin River and surveys the plains below through night vision googles, a cup of coffee by his side, the static of the police scanner in the background. It's a lonely vig...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Wisconsin Senator Jim Sensenbrenner has issued an apology to the first lady Michelle Obama for his extremely insensitive, uncalled for, and very ignorant statement. The senator from the Cheese State was at Reagan Airport in Wash...
Madison, Wis--Scott Walker was still touting the fact he didn't raise taxes to balance the budget. "I am the CEO of the state of Wisconsin and I am doing a great job. People should get off my back. I made the tough choices of sticking to union wor...
Madison, WI--Scott Walker held a press conference at the Madison Blain's Farm and Fleet to announce that he saved Wisconsin taxpayers five dollars by buying a toilet seat at the local merchant. "I did some price checking, and I noticed that Wal M...
OSHKOSH, Wisconsin - Mitt Romney's The Mormon Master Bus Tour pulled into Oshkosh, Wisconsin, the town famous for having been the place where the first grilled cheese sandwich was grilled. "Old Mittens" spoke at an empty lot located next to a Pomp...
SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin - Due to the horrible state of the nation's economy many people are trying to find ways to save money. Some are making their own tomato juice by using one part ketchup to 600 parts water. A couple in New Hampshire rented out t...
Let this document stand as a statement of intent by the Wisconsin Underground Saboteur Society For The Insurrection And Eventual Setting Free Of The UP (W.U.S.S.I.E.S.) to liberate the so named Upper Peninsula from years of subjugation by the repressive forces of the state of Michigan. The writers of this manifesto would like to make clear to all concerned that the Upper Peninsula was seized f...
Well Hey There and Howdy, Friends. We're still a bit soggy here on the farm this week, and there are parts of the back 40 where I can't step out of the trusty John Deere lest I find myself sunk up to my kneecaps in mud. Of course, it ain't just mud. Edna reminded me back in February that we needed to fertilize that plot of land this year and I'd been rather generous on the manure spread...
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