HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jennifer Aniston has finally accepted the fact that Brad Pitt has decided to make Angelina Jolie his wife. And America's sweetheart, Aniston not Jolie, is dealing with her empty feelings and trying to move on knowing that her and...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Several students at Harfold State College reacted in anger at the news released this week by NASA that there could never be volcanoes on the Moon. "Who gives a shit?" asked Philip Alders, a junior majoring in automotive history. "It...
Michele Bachmann has done it again. Hot on the heels of her claim that hurricane Irene was God's message to America, the controversial congresswoman has received a second revelation that the recent eruptions of Mt. Etna in Italy are a sign of God's w...
According to the gossip columns, the trio were found sitting in the crater of extinct Icelandic volcano, Imblofyer, eating cucumber and talking about ticket allocations for the 2012 Olympic Games, by part time explorer, Sir Kenneth Tarby-Dodds. Ta...
The latest craze that's sweeping the nation - Planking - has been exposed as actually being nothing more than "lying down in front of or on top of things you wouldn't normally lie down in front of or on top of". These controversial words were issu...
Reykjavik - "As seismological blow jobs go this one's the biggie," astrologers are warning about Wednesday's occultation. "Think 'Vesuvius' plus 10,000 years' worth of seismic celibacy!" A dozen Icelandic volcanoes may be affected as the eclips...
An obscure Icelandic mountain has captured the imagination of Hollywood executives. The volcano Grimsvotn has been signed by a major studio to star in three feature films scheduled to be produced this year. "It's not everyday you find an artist wh...
According to leading Al Queda members, news about the Icelandic ash cloud is nothing but "Western propaganda aimed as discrediting volcanoes in Iceland sympathetic to the recent loss of Al Queda leader Oscar Bin Liner." Speaking from the Al Queda...
In a frank admission from the Icelandic government, the Minister for the Environment, Ban Kruptdotter, apologised to airports in the United Kingdom for any disruption caused by the ash or by extremely high prices in the shops at British airports.
All flights from UK airports were cancelled indefinitely after Ryanair chief executive Michael O'Leary erupted in the early hours of the morning, sending clouds of expletives and obscenities miles up into the air. O'Leary, who has become increasin...
The Icelandic Prime Minister, Björky Björkysdóttir, has apologised to the rest of Europe after yet another Icelandic volcano exploded, leaving a huge cloud of ash heading towards the continent. She read the following hushed message in a video address to the EU. "We are very sorry. Normally Iceland is a peaceful land full of wonder and ice, but I am afraid that we might have frightened the littl...
Despite warnings from the Civil Aviation Authority and the Met Office, Ryanair boss O'Leary flew an air craft right through the volcanic ash cloud and into the volcano itself, just before lunchtime today. Before taking to the air he held a press c...
Following the disappointing Misjudgment Day and associated backlash by followers who had offered their life savings to the cause, Reverend Camping, leader of the May 21st prediction fiasco, now says that the Iceland volcano eruption is proof that God...
KEFLAVIK, Iceland - New reporters from all over the world are thrilled beyond words that the latest volcano to erupt out of Iceland at least has a name that most people will be able to pronounce. Grimsvotn has been hurling lava ash and tons of vol...
The Isle of Wight has disappeared under a large grey cloud said to have come from the direction of Iceland. No communication has been made between the Isle and the Mainland for over 4 hours, causing concern. Search and rescue parties headed out...
A huge dense ash cloud is heading for the UK. The cloud is on its way from Iceland where volcanoes continue to erupt. People are asked to keep all children and pets indoors until given the 'all clear'. They are also being advised to bring in all...
Sir, We have been reading with great interest the recent letters in your magazine from the people with the names. Of course, everyone has a name, excepting that cowboy that Clint Eastwood played, and those who wish to remain incognito - but even these people will often take an alias, such as Smith or Jones. But you get my point. This is interesting to us because we have quite a riot with our...
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