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Funny satire stories about sperm

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Funny story: "More Pay" For Sperm Donors Call

"More Pay" For Sperm Donors Call

Men who donate sperm for IVF treatment should be paid more than women who donate their eggs, it has been claimed. Laura Witjens, chair of the National Gamete Donation Trust who has donated her own eggs reckons most people are not aware of the "ser...

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Funny story: Sperm-leggers tried, found wanting, see men caught in a tissue of lies

Sperm-leggers tried, found wanting, see men caught in a tissue of lies

In a first for English judicial law, two men have been found guilty of illegally making sperm, available over the internet, by turning a hobby into a scheme for reaping pecuniary rewards. The men behind the seminal case, Bill Wrangler and his rig...

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Funny story: Dishonourable Discharge

Dishonourable Discharge

Reading Police are cock-a-hoop over the arrest of the two notorious Directors of "Sperm-U-Like," a long running Internet scam aimed at desperate, childless couples. Clients paid £380 to join, choosing potential fathers from a list of anonymous sp...

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Funny story: Sperm-lover Rev. Frankie Graham can't help obsessing about Obama's father's 'seed'

Sperm-lover Rev. Frankie Graham can't help obsessing about Obama's father's 'seed'

Ask any atheist what belief in imaginary and non-existent gods means and to a (wo)man they will say: "Religion has been the curse of mankind." Depending on what one believes in this is either the wisest assessment of why men behave as they do...

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Funny story: Victoria to Sell Beckham's Sperm

Victoria to Sell Beckham's Sperm

As news breaks this morning that Cristiano Ronaldo is selling his sperm online, Victoria Beckham has issued a statement that she will be offering David Beckham's sperm for sale shortly. 'David's sperm is not currently available, we are presently w...

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Funny story: Porn industry blocks NHS sperm donor plans

Porn industry blocks NHS sperm donor plans

The Secretary of State for Health, Andy Burnham, has lashed out at the porn industry after research showed it was a major hindrance to NHS plans to pay cash incentives for sperm donations. "The industry thinks only of its profits and is apparentl...

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Funny story: Queensland man invents machine to produce fresh cum on tap

Queensland man invents machine to produce fresh cum on tap

Tewantin, Qld. Australia. Incredible! Man invented a little machine that can extract fresh cum from hundreds of men and then have it ready on demand on tap. The machine works on the principle of rotatory solenoids. It has a mouth-like aperture wh...

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Funny story: British Women Seek Foreign Wankers As British Sperm Shortage Worsens

British Women Seek Foreign Wankers As British Sperm Shortage Worsens

The shortage of jizz in Britain has worsened. Gordon Brown revealed today that the only big wankers left in the UK were in Parliament. With the shortage getting worse British women seeking a bun in their oven have begun to search abroad in the hop...

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Funny story: New Sex Study Reveals Semen In the Crossfire

New Sex Study Reveals Semen In the Crossfire

SAN DIEGO, California - Researchers have long known that sex can be fun, that people who have sex often tend to live longer, healthier lives, and that sexually active men have healthier sperm. What researchers did not know is that the collection o...

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Funny story: Michael Jackson Was A Pickpocket - The Story Of Mark Lester's Sperm

Michael Jackson Was A Pickpocket - The Story Of Mark Lester's Sperm

Mark Lester, the aging thespian who was made famous by playing the lead role in Oliver, is convinced he is the father of at least two of Michael Jackson's children. He was officially made the children's godfather upon their births. Because of this, it is customary for the god parent to take an interest in the child's upbringing should the mother or father die prematurely. However, this position ha...

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Funny story: Spunky Sperm Wins Marathon Swim After Terrible Ordeal

Spunky Sperm Wins Marathon Swim After Terrible Ordeal

A spunky sperm named Brian today revealed to Spoof.com reporters how he emerged from a horrifyingly traumatic ordeal to emerge as supreme champion in the world's toughest test of swimming endurance. Brian lived on a small planet which was frequent...

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Funny story: Equal Opportunity Sperms Coming Soon

Equal Opportunity Sperms Coming Soon

In the ejaculate of the average male, there are over one million sperm. Only one of these, the first to reach and penetrate the egg, can be considered "successful;" The others all die in the attempt. Obviously, the most successful sperms are the o...

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Funny story: UK Suffers Motile Sperm Shortage

UK Suffers Motile Sperm Shortage

Thousands of British women have been fleeing John Bull's island because the British males are, well, less than John Bullish, so to speak. Studies of British male virility have revealed that the British boys have lost their spunk. Ladies of the co...

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Funny story: Newly discover frozen sperm of Saddam Hussein to be used in stem cell research

Newly discover frozen sperm of Saddam Hussein to be used in stem cell research

UPI (California) - The newly discovered frozen sperm of Saddam Hussein will be given to the University of California, Irvine (UCI), for use in the recently approved stem cell research. The program "Stemming is Fundamental" is the brainchild of UCI b...

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Funny story: Scientists create new birth control method from nanotechnology

Scientists create new birth control method from nanotechnology

Researchers today reported in the Journal of American Medical Association a mechanical contraceptive that is 100% safe, 100% effective, and able to enhance the pleasure of both men and women. 17th century scientist Evangelista Torricelli was the...

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Funny story: Brains, Balls and Intelligence

Brains, Balls and Intelligence

Kings Bollocks College, London, England - A recent research study has found a link between intelligence and sperm quality in men. Analysing data from American soldiers who took IQ tests and gave sperm sample in 1985, biologists in London have...

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Funny story: Pro-Lifers Storm LA Sperm Bank chanting "Demon Seed"

Pro-Lifers Storm LA Sperm Bank chanting "Demon Seed"

As part of a new strategy to link the evils of abortion and masturbation, a group of approximately 30 pro-life protestors were arrested for trespassing and vandalism to the Catholic-run "Our Lady of Comfort" Sperm Bank in downtown LA (*). LA Pol...

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