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Funny satire stories about sex offenders

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Funny story: Unlicensed Car Abused by repeat offender

Unlicensed Car Abused by repeat offender

A Vulcanised tyre-obsessed pervert who harassed a group of parked motor vehicles using social parking meter attendant ploys learned from websites has been described as "sexually deviant" and exiled from Asia A polished bonneted-obsessed pervert wh...

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Funny story: Jonathan Ross asks for chemical castration

Jonathan Ross asks for chemical castration

Falkirk - (Lurid Ass Mess): Serial sex predator Jonathan Ross - also known as Jonathan Bermingham according to police - has asked to be chemically castrated rather than endure 'years of pointless penis psychotherapy' and social workers' mumbo-jumbo.

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Funny story: Sex Offenders to have Knackers Smacked with Wooden Gavel

Sex Offenders to have Knackers Smacked with Wooden Gavel

In the first of several attempts to gain the high ground on Law and Order issues, a Conservative Think Tank has suggested that rather than send sex offenders to jail, the result of which they claim, is high cost to the taxpayer with dubious correctiv...

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Funny story: French Catholic Communities Made to Sign New Child Abuse Register

French Catholic Communities Made to Sign New Child Abuse Register

The Fifth Republic of France is to adopt a controversial policy regarding child abuse in the country. As from January 2009 the senior (or oldest) Roman Catholic male in all catholic communities has to sign a National Child Abuse Register on behalf...

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Funny story: Sex Offenders Grounded Over Health Fears

Sex Offenders Grounded Over Health Fears

London - The British Home Office today announced plans to introduce new laws that will prevent sex offenders from leaving the country, 'willy-nilly'. Home Office spokeswoman, Kitty Fiddler, told reporters that it was imperative that minors living...

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Funny story: Government proposes to lobotomise registered sex offenders

Government proposes to lobotomise registered sex offenders

Following a recent initiative to register sex offenders email addresses with the police and ISPs, the lobotomy plans were announced after it was revealed how easy it is to obtain a new email address.

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Funny story: Shannon Matthews' Mum Arrested For Being A Slapper

Shannon Matthews' Mum Arrested For Being A Slapper

Karen Matthews, the mother of little Shannon Matthews, the girl who went missing for three weeks, has herself been arrested by West Yorkshire Police in Dewsbury, and charged with being a 'slapper'

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Funny story: SPECIAL Bill gaining momentum in Congress

SPECIAL Bill gaining momentum in Congress

(Seattle, WA) Northwest activist Ashley White has introduced legislation to Congress that would recommend capital punishment for Level 3 sex offenders.

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Funny story: Lid comes down heavy on repeat sex offenders

Lid comes down heavy on repeat sex offenders

New plans to prevent sex offenders from committing terrible and dirty crimes are being announced by the Home Office later today.

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Funny story: Child calls 911 to report crying birds at sex offender's home

Child calls 911 to report crying birds at sex offender's home

(Seattle, WA) Little Matthew Christianson was in tears when he called 911 Tuesday reporting a nest of birds under the eaves of a neighbor's house crying like human children. "They're screaming 'No!' and 'Don't!' and &...

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Funny story: Senior High Court Judge In Hideous Train Flashing Attack

Senior High Court Judge In Hideous Train Flashing Attack

A woman travelling on a London-bound train was subjected to a harrowing and hideous flashing attack by one of Britain's most senior judges, a court has heard.

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Funny story: Werther's Originals blamed for rise in pedophile crime

Werther's Originals blamed for rise in pedophile crime

Werthers Originals, the delicious toffee based sweet, was today named in a government report as one of the main contributory factors in the rise of pedophile crime in the UK.

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Funny story: Missing sex offenders found in Blair's cabinet

Missing sex offenders found in Blair's cabinet

London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Over six hundred missing serial sex offenders who disappeared from Home Office records have been found hiding behind the cabinet at Number 10 Drowning Street.

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Funny story: Bill and Ben Star Signs Sex Offender's Register

Bill and Ben Star Signs Sex Offender's Register

The entertainment world was today in uproar amid claims that Bill Flobalob, one half of the seventies incomprehensible children's duo Bill and Ben, had been forced to sign the sex offender's register.

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