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Funny story: British tourist arrested for theft of penis pump from Dallas sex shop

British tourist arrested for theft of penis pump from Dallas sex shop

DALLAS, TEXAS (ABSNN) - The masked, knife wielding robber who stole $500 in cash and a $150 penis pump from a Dallas adult video store today was apprehended only four hours later at Parkland Memorial Hospital according to the DPD. "We got a ph...

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Funny story: Nightsticks vs Vibrators: NYPD Cracks Down on Dildo Dealers

Nightsticks vs Vibrators: NYPD Cracks Down on Dildo Dealers

New York - A mixed squad of undercover and uniformed police has broken up "a sex ring" that was attempting to distribute "vibrating devices" in "broad daylight" at locations in Rockefeller Center and the Meatpacking District. The disrupted giveawa...

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Funny story: Adding Up the Tab for Speaker Bercow's 'Dirty Weekend' Leaves Taxpayers Holding his Baggage!

Adding Up the Tab for Speaker Bercow's 'Dirty Weekend' Leaves Taxpayers Holding his Baggage!

Financial expense questions continue as it can be revealed that Commons Speaker John Bercow spent hundreds of pounds rushing to a tryst with wife "Long Tall Sally' in her ill timed and ill fated efforts to appear on Big Brother! Speaker Berco...

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Funny story: Woman Feels that her Vibrator no Longer Has any Vibration for Her

Woman Feels that her Vibrator no Longer Has any Vibration for Her

These are sad days for Ellen Bridgeport. She feels that her once beloved vibrator, who she affectionately named Bruno, no longer has the same sexual energy that he once did at the height of their relationship. "It's just so frustrating", exclaimed an exasperated Bridgeport. "Things are just not the same between me and Bruno. I mean, this has been going on for a while now! "I can remember...

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Funny story: Jordan to launch own sex-toy brand

Jordan to launch own sex-toy brand

Jordan, aka Katie Price, has already marketed her own clothing brand but the 'Sex-Goddess' (her own assessment) is to go one further by launching Jordan Sex Toys. She told this reporter, "Well, since everyone's already seen me in action on most go...

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Funny story: EU Plans Assault on Autoerotic Asphyxia, Plans Ban on Plastic Bags in UK; Practitioners Flee to Thailand to Hang Around!

EU Plans Assault on Autoerotic Asphyxia, Plans Ban on Plastic Bags in UK; Practitioners Flee to Thailand to Hang Around!

In a sweeping plan to ban plastic bags which have left Brits Breathless, the European Union is taking the first step to shut down deviate sex practices which they say affect the Health & Safety of the British Public. Plastic bags , since inven...

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Funny story: Slow Cooked Foraged Food

Slow Cooked Foraged Food

Following the success of recently published series of Recipe and Vegipe books specially written for the slow cooker enthusiast, the latest edition turns it's metaphorical hand to a more 'natural', if not necessarily organic, collection of meals. Fungi in Buttercup Butter Originally meant to be Mushrooms in Garlic Butter, this recipe is much easier if any old type of mushroom or toadstool is...

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Funny story: China Recalls "Deep Blue" Vibrators After Over 1,000 Shocking Stories

China Recalls "Deep Blue" Vibrators After Over 1,000 Shocking Stories

"I thought I was going to die", stated one lady as part of a collective lawsuit. "Of course, it was great for awhile but suddenly I was jerking like Joe Cocker singing "Cry Me A River!" "I heard Edith in the darkened bedroom while I was watching t...

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Funny story: Fruit and Vegetable sex toys

Fruit and Vegetable sex toys

A recent survey carried out by Girl Play magazine has revealed a liking of fruit and vegetables as sex toys among sexually active and adventurous women. "The most popular vegetable was the carrot," said magazine editor, Andrea Fuller. "Women repor...

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Funny story: The Aishwarya Rai Inflatable Doll Has Just Become The Biggest Selling Inflatable Doll of All-Time

The Aishwarya Rai Inflatable Doll Has Just Become The Biggest Selling Inflatable Doll of All-Time

CHICAGO - America's largest toy manufacturer the Hasbroken Toy Company has just announced that due to the recent Christmas sales the Aishwarya Rai Inflatable Doll has just surpassed the Cheryl Cole Inflatable Doll in sales. Spokesperson for the ma...

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Funny story: Sex Toy Manufacturer Used Justin Bieber Image Illegally

Sex Toy Manufacturer Used Justin Bieber Image Illegally

Sex Toy manufacturing company, Clitcock Ltd of Braintree, Essex, were today fined £10,000 by magistrates in the town for illegally using the image of the 16 year old Canadian singing sensation's image on their products. HM Customs and Excise also...

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Funny story: Erotic Toys for Males Cumming

Erotic Toys for Males Cumming

With women enjoying sex toys for years, men have felt left out. 'This is sex discrimination' alleged Simon Perv who is introducing a number of holes in the wall that leave little to the imagination! Behind the wall is a handy implement which Perv...

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Funny story: South Africans find creative ways of using vuvuzela - Portable urinals and sex toys top the list

South Africans find creative ways of using vuvuzela - Portable urinals and sex toys top the list

CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA: - Thanks to the 2010 soccer World Cup, sports fans have become acquainted with the annoying drone of vuvuzelas - those long plastic horns guaranteed to cause tinnitus. What to do with the remaining hundreds of vuvuzelas?...

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Funny story: Thrust 2 Rabbit, a success!

Thrust 2 Rabbit, a success!

Women everywhere rejoiced when Rabbit, the makers of the incredibly popular vibrating sex toy for women only (as seen on TV, if you have the porn channels), announced that their number one selling sex toy is to get a make over with a new facility tha...

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Funny story: Goalie's massive-breasted blow-up sex doll 'is eyesore'

Goalie's massive-breasted blow-up sex doll 'is eyesore'

Derbyshire - (Rubber Ass Mess): Is 'she' or isn't 'she' crying buckets ...or is it just lubricant seepage from defective eye sockets? Neighbors have complained that Derby County goalkeeper Stephen Bywater's latest outdoor art installation 'appears...

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Funny story: Anne Winters launch sexy anniversary range

Anne Winters launch sexy anniversary range

Anne Winters, one of Britain's largest supplier of erotic toys and lingerie are to launch their own version of anniversary presents. Traditionally, the first anniversary is celebrated with paper or card, and Anne Winters will continue this traditi...

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Funny story: Melt Down in Adult Stores as Repro Miley Cyrus Vaginas Snatched from Shelves: 3 week Wait!

Melt Down in Adult Stores as Repro Miley Cyrus Vaginas Snatched from Shelves: 3 week Wait!

Adult Sex Stores were faced with an unprecedented attack by customers after the introduction of anatomically correct Vaginas molded after pictures of Miley Cryrus's privates were flashed on the World Wide Internet. Internet orders also passed al...

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