In an effort to combat the ongoing recession, the Chinese government is currently attempting to place a monetary value on life based on earning potential. Preliminary reports have been released with estimates of how much they have determined people t...
Industry spectators are heralding the end of the current economic recession due to a startling discovery made in the vaults of the prestigious Union Bank in Switzerland; namely, bonds, stocks, gold bullion and cash currencies to the value of CHF 6 tr...
Washington, DC -- In an historic first, the Devil has declined to throw his support behind either candidate for US President, declaring that both contenders "are hell-bent on creating chaos without any help from me." "That makes it impossible to c...
The contract for building another runway in London has been won by budget airline Queasy Jet. They have decided that Altrincham, some two hundred miles away near Manchester, is the perfect location. "On the scale of things," said Queasy Jet chairm...
Washington DC - Your money isn't good here anymore. A new ruling by the Federal Reserve prohibits Americans from "owning, possessing or utilizing" money, in any shape or form, under the threat of life imprisonment. The prohibition is at the heart...
According to a startling new discovery by a joint co-operative research team consisting of economists and scientists from both MIT and the London School of Economics, the current recession was in fact caused by an incensed and indignant supreme, omni...
Madrid - The Starbucks Corporation has injected a shot of caffeine into the world's financial system, taking over Spain's devastated banking system so it can replace bank branches with Starbucks outlets. "Banks are not cool," said Dylan Prather, E...
New York City - The collective IQ of Wall Street executives has dropped below the mental retardation level for the first time ever, prompting the Federal Reserve to impose the "too dumb to fall" provisions of the Barney Frank Act. Implementing a s...
Start a new war to refocus attention off the bad state of national affairs and to bolster arm sales and allow corporate 'service' interests to leech money off the taxpayers to 'support' the military effort. Start a 'Threat To Be Terrified Of ' of…
Leading economic indicators show the U.S. economy growing stronger, influencing the recovery of world markets and bolstering consumer confidence. Non durable goods distributors report record sales on "feel good" items like bubble gum and condoms.
Washington, DC -- Say goodbye to the almighty dollar. In a unanimous decision, the Federal Reserve's Board of Governors has voted to abolish the use of money in the United States, effective immediately. "The world's economic system is broken beyon...
Tragedy has hit the upper levels of our society today as the economic crisis has caused many of the rich to lose their cushion of poor people that have previously protected them from having to experience the basics of life. Many of the rich now have...
Shares in Private Equity, manufacturers of men's underpants, decreased markedly after safety inspectors discovered design faults. Midriff bands had weakened during the recession, possibly due to severe weakening of essential commodities. Privat...
Evel Knievel, the former stunt racing driver, is now responsible for DirectGov's 'Think' road safety campaign, as part of government plans to hive off key departmental responsibilities to those who haven't the first clue about their area of assigned...
The Nottingham Chamber of Commerce revealed today that outlets and traders in Nottingham have suffered a dramatic overall downfall in the number of customers through their doors in 2011. Some businesses did increase their turnover, but only 10% re...
A new study has revealed the astonishing fact that there are now 3.9 million households in Britain where not one person works, and whose only income consists entirely of welfare benefits. The study, which was undertaken by the Confederation of Dis...
The Euro zone faces recession as bond sales of special urine packages are going badly wrong. A leak from a urine sample in Germany has upset the market and caused quite a stink. British urine is standing up well and the city is betting on a decent...
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