Statisticians have discovered a serious error in recent population projections, which were released by the Office for National Statistics. Instead of the UK's population increasing to 92 million over the next 100 years, civil servants have found that...
United Nations, Manhattan, New York, USA: Whilst, Global Leaders and Politicians argue about which position the deck chairs should be arranged and who should be sitting where! Some people ask "What Iceberg? It makes no difference people of the...
(Defecated News) Over the last century, the population of the planet has risen from 1.6 billion to a staggering 6.7 billion. Birth control drives are not working, and resources are thinning. The only outcome looks like starvation, poverty, malnutriti...
DENVER, Colo - According to my source, stab nurse Ms. Idasoon Peel, as the pandemic spreads, winter nears, and vaccine supplies are short angry mobs are demanding to be infected with the Swine flu. In valiant competition to contribute to solving the...
WASHINGTON DC - Spokesman Dr. Strangedeath for the FDA held a short news conference today wherein he encouraged parents to give children 'Holloweenies' such as eyeball eggs stuffed with aspartame. Holloweeny could be used to rid the Earth of exces...
Greenbelt MD: Space scientists and engineers have stared at Mars ever since Galileo first saw the red planet in 1610. The nagging question always has been, was there ever intelligent life on Mars? Commencing in the late twentieth century NASA beca...
NEW YORK - A new AIDS vaccine study shows promising results. Even though the new vaccine does not prevent a person from getting aids, or cure a person with aids, it can help to prevent the spread of the disease. It works by amplification of the d...
NEW YORK - The UN security council announced today that it was ending world hunger. Around the world, thousands of aspartame feeding stations will be set up where hungry people will be given bowls full of pure aspartame to eat. Experiments have s...
Washington DC - President Obomba released details of his "killer" health pogrom today to a jeering crowd. The noise level was so high, only the written press release can be used as an information source. So says the release: The new health pogrom...
A World Health Organisation spokesman today blamed the Irish and the Chinese for an unsustainable explosion in the population of the planet. With 1.2 billion citizens, the role of the Chinese in the breeding process is explicable, but the Irish, w...
NEW YORK, NY - The minister of UN Special Population Progroms, Dr. Trangesieh Eathdieh, announced today that all foods not containing a minimum required dosage of the drug aspartame will be heavily taxed. The population control measure is thought ne...
Bristol,UK/ Population Control News - PM Brown's environmental expert, Jonathon Porritt, said today that half of the island's population "had to go" if it was to survive! Spoof Writer Buck Pissgums, was the first to make his way to Southampton and...
WASHINGTON D.C. - Scientists announced to a crowded room of reporters today that aspartame has been approved as a postnatal abortion agent, for subjects up to 24 months postpartum. The suggested dose is 25 grams (0.881849 oz) (the LDLo) repeated...
The story of the Octomom has something for everyone. Bioethicists debate the role of fertility doctors in screening would-be mothers. Taxpayers rail against bailing out irresponsible parents. Child welfare advocates hover, porn producers salivate, ta...
Chinese government officials have decided upon a plan to lower its population by the introduction of I-Pods, MP3 players and cell phones with text messaging with prices that the masses can afford. Reviewing American and European figures for the...
WASHINGTON, DC - Former FDA officials, who wish to remain unnamed, confided to this reporter that the FDA knew all along that aspartame was poison, but was directed by the National Security Council to approve it to reduce the number one security issu...
NEW YORK - Reliable, centrally located sources report that next year, the State will pass a 200% tax on all food and water that is not "sweetened" with aspartame. There are several reasons, including financial, for this move. Our source told us t...
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