Melanie Meadows of Nashville, Tennessee, recently took a licking from a relentless black cat named Sammy. "He was unstoppable," said Meadows of the panther-like feline who slunk up unnoticed as she stepped out of the shower early one morning. "And...
When 8 year old Timmy Hutchins posted a flyer of his missing dog, a wiry-haired Border Terrier by the name of Bandit, he was filled with hope that his best friend would eventually return to him. Six weeks and three days later, the flyer that hangs fr...
Good-humored hog Hank Daniel of Nashville, Tennessee, a lover of a raucous, in-your-face comedy who prides himself on being able to both dish it out and take it, was intrigued when he learned of a pig “roast” to be held the following Saturday afterno...
In a shocking study released by Arizona State University on Monday, researchers suggested that your pets may not actually be children. The consensus has attracted criticism from pet owners and scientists alike, who have nothing else tethering them to...
A turkey that was flown by its owner on an inland US flight has broken the seatbelt law and now will face a financial penalty and eventual life-long ban flying (Can they fly?). The turkey was allocated a window seat but, during the flight, refused to...
Colorado Springs (Denver Post): Four German Shepherd puppies apparently committed suicide yesterday, after their owner allowed her two-and-a-half-year-old toddler to name the dogs. All four puppies jumped out of an open window, ran six blocks, and t…
One of the largest cases of voter fraud in the history of the US has unraveled after an election worker discovered that a dog was registered to vote in his district in the 2016 elections. The scheme came to light when Swen Hootman, an election vol...
As the market for iPhones becomes saturated, Apple is attempting to tap into another niche market by rolling out reinforced iPhones and iPads for pets. Mike Bursa of team Apple gave a demo and talk at an unveiling party in Palo Alto, CA. Only a fe...
Bulging and bellicose, Masha Krause is a bit of a curiosity in the town of Statesville N.C. As an amateur bodybuilder she has made a lonely niche for herself among the more reserved and conventional residents. Last summer things got ugly for Masha as an ongoing feud she'd had with her neighbors reached it's tipping point. It all started on the somber autumn day of October 14th last year. "Hog...
The percentage of applications for emotional-support animals among pets have gone up 279% from 2011, according to the latest pretty and glittery graph on the internet. "We have seen an increase in emotional-support animals among pet travelers," r...
A brazen thief has admitted taking various pets from 21 pet stores across the Black Country and Staffordshire without paying for them during a seven-month stealing spree. Ecbert Sitz drove across various towns in the West Midlands with the intent...
French Lick, Indiana - Duane Fick, 27, can assure the presiding judge in his upcoming trial that his beloved cat, Fuggles, is pissed-seriously pissed. And from what this reporter can gather, that piece of evidence seems to hold true. "Fuggles has nev...
I just got the best pet in the world. A Goliath Birdeater, a spider that's been shipped from the Amazon Rain Forest to my little abode in New Jersey. My Goliath Birdeater has the dubious honor of being the largest arachnid in the world. It's about...
As a helpful service to those wonderful people who love, cherish, and keep little furry friends, we at the National Vole Advocacy Alliance provide the following useful tidbits for Pocket Pet (PP) owners. When carrying your wee furry guys to work, remember to keep your pockets fresh with PP litter. Letting your little Pocket Pet buddy run loose in the Mall is a great way to meet new people.
Hello. My name is Jackson Hoff. As a life-long editor of one publication after another, I feel it is my responsibility, occasionally, to supply a sharp, biting view of (insert topic here). I've thought long and hard about that responsibility. I think that was at breakfast like a week ago. I bet I spent 20 minutes straight kicking that around. I was deep into it when the cat knocked my pineapple ju...
Animal rights groups have brought to BATTL news attention that due to financial constraints more and more people are dumping their pets. This is despicable treatment of a living creature that relys on us for love, support and sustenance. Aren't we as humans supposed to be inventive and adaptable? Weren't we the ones who put a man on the moon and invented Velcro? If we are this all conquering,...
The new Archbishop of Glastonbury has spoken of how his life has changed since he discovered that his pet bears had been secretly drinking. The Most Rev Jasper Selby has had three pet bears (Bruin, Cuddly and Yogi) for 10 years. They've always bee...
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