Esteemed space pervert Prof Steven Hawkins has been under investigation by animal rights groups. The shock revelation comes as no surprise as the prof has been on a downward spiral of self destruction that would put Charlie sheen to shame. Hawkins...
Salt Lake, UT - Although Jail Bate Bougers died at birth, Mormon Elder Swarmen Jerks became enraptured with her story as portrayed on T.V. and convinced the Governor to grant him leave to attend a marriage ceremony at the Temple. Wedding the dead is...
The Devil has appeared on a bathroom tile in Budapest, Hungary and refuses to be removed. After spending a fortune on renovating his bathroom Mr.Crsefko let his wife shower first, but the bathroom turned cold and creepy and as she stepped naked ou...
A SICK PERVERT who attempted to fake his own death by SELF-ABUSING himself for forty-eight hours was today sentenced to spend the rest of his life in a recently-carpeted bungalow in beautiful Lytham St Annes, AT YOUR EXPENSE! The MONSTER who canno...
The New York Police Department arrested a Georgia Tech student on "Peeping Tom" charges on Wednesday morning after she entered a man's bathroom as a male student showered, according to the police report. Officers responded to a call from the seco...
Have you ever been bad in the Badlands? Sowed your seed at Lake Mead? Had a hot time at Hot Springs? Gotten laid in the Everglades? If so, Ken Burns wants to talk to you. Burns, the respected pixie-haired documentary filmmaker, is already busy with the sequel to his sure-to-be-a-blockbuster on the U.S. National Parks, which premieres this weekend on PBS. The follow-up film will have the wo...
The historic city of Gloucester has been saved from descending into a cesspit of vile sexual depravity. A planning application to turn a hotel into a "private member's sex club" complete with a "fetish room" for "adult enjoyment" has been turned down...
Calfiornia voters, tired of the gay community of San Francisco trying to shove gay marriage down their throats, have voted to change the name of the city. In a vote that received 80% support outside of the bay area, state voters elected to change th...
ADELAIDE, Australia - An unidentified 20-year-old Australian man has been charged with infecting more than 3,000 computers around the world with the most virulent stain of STD, Ether AIDS. The man, whose name will not be released until he app...
How Long Can I Make Love? (Sonnet 69) by Elizabeth Bare-Assed Brown-Eye How long can I make love? Let me count the days. I'll make love to the depth and width and height My **** can reach, while being out of sight And the hopes of being on your face. I'll make love to the level of each way's Des'prate need, by sun and candle-light. I'll make love on the freeway: you d...
The man who has been 'flashing' unsuspecting motorists in Maidenhead dressed as a Traffic Warden has been arrested by Thames Valley Detectives. He is in fact a real Traffic Warden and has been granted name suppression until his case is heard at Ma...
After a local health clinic in Hartford, Connecticut, received six telephone calls in a row from some heavy breathing pervert, they decided to call the police. Police then traced the seventh call to an apartment on Bigelow Street and called in for a...
NASA have revealed today that naughty astronauts have been using the telescopes on the International Space Station to spy on people in the nude. Astronauts have renamed the space station as Voyeur-ger One and scientific experiments have stopped wi...
Hallmark, the world's largest retailer and producer of gift cards for all occasions (sympathy, birthdays, holidays, etc.) has announced that they will begin mass producing greeting cards for same sex marriages and for people with alternate lifestyles...
London - The British Home Office today announced plans to introduce new laws that will prevent sex offenders from leaving the country, 'willy-nilly'. Home Office spokeswoman, Kitty Fiddler, told reporters that it was imperative that minors living...
The Municipal Swimming Baths in Croydon have been saved from closure thanks to the highly non-politically correct decision of the council committee charged with overseeing it.
The inhabitants of the island of Paedo (referred to as Paedophiles), off the coast of Austria, are livid regarding the recent publicity surrounding the Greek island of Lesbos.
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