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Funny satire stories about paedophile

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Funny story: Paedo Vanessa George Keeping Schtum

Paedo Vanessa George Keeping Schtum

Paedo nursery assistant Vanessa George, who took explicit pictures of children in her care and posted them on the internet, continues to refuse to identify her victims, callously giving concerned parents no closure. This reporter has tirelessly pe...

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Funny story: Beatles Pedophile Songs Banned by RIAA

Beatles Pedophile Songs Banned by RIAA

Several early Beatles hits have been banned from the airwaves, download music sources and music store shelfs for promoting sex with underage girls, according to a press release from the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA). Among the B...

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Funny story: Pope Canonizes Michael Jackson, Names Him Patron Saint of Pedophiles

Pope Canonizes Michael Jackson, Names Him Patron Saint of Pedophiles

In an announcement from Rome this morning, Pope Benedict announced that he has canonized Michael Jackson. Saint Jacko, as he shall be commonly known, shall be the patron saint of pedophiles (also spelled paedophiles) and Catholic priests. Addit...

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Funny story: Catholic Priests Set To Penetrate Western Youth With "I-Mass"

Catholic Priests Set To Penetrate Western Youth With "I-Mass"

The hierarchy of the Catholic Church is worried. They need deeper penetration of the world's youth. They have a powerful need to get deep inside the young people of today, and plant the seed of Jesus inside them. It is urgent. "We're going to give them a WELT," says the Vatican. Although the Church counts its flock in the hundreds of millions, numbers in developed, white, important countries...

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Funny story: Paedophiles to be deported from Earth

Paedophiles to be deported from Earth

Soham, England - Child protection agencies have come up with a new scheme to stop paedophilia for good. All paedos, once committed of an offence, will be deported from the UK. And, since no other country will take them in, they will be asked to...

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Funny story: Gary Glitter Tracked Down By Tabloids

Gary Glitter Tracked Down By Tabloids

Disgraced former glam-rocker turned convicted paedophile, Gary Glitter has been tracked down to a London hideaway by a tabloid newspaper. Glitter, who will be 113 next week has reportedly taken to disguising himself in the manner of perfectly resp...

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Funny story: Radioactive Paedophile On The Run

Radioactive Paedophile On The Run

A radioactive paedophile is on the run in Ireland. Don Ewin, former principal at Selafield College of Nuclear Physics, is thought to have fled to the Emerald Isle once he started to feel the heat. He is wanted for suspected counts of child pornograph...

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Funny story: Childcare "a woman's job"

Childcare "a woman's job"

Perceptions in the UK remain strong that childcare is the exclusive domain for women among both sexes. When questioned, parents would prefer that their nursery was staffed by women only, and were dubious and, in some cases, concerned, when told that...

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Funny story: Mr Drummond from 'Diff'rent Strokes' arrested for 'stroking' kids

Mr Drummond from 'Diff'rent Strokes' arrested for 'stroking' kids

Fictional TV "dad" Mr Drummond from Diff'rent Strokes was arrested last night for, 'stroking' kids, in all sorts of different and unsavoury ways. Mr 'D' is fictional dad to Kimberly, Willis and 5 inch funny boy 'Arnold'. A lawyer acting on beha...

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Funny story: British Misprint Society claim Gary Glitter is a pedant

British Misprint Society claim Gary Glitter is a pedant

The British Misprint Society, which is sponsored by the Grauniad Newspaper, has today labelled failed glam rock star Gary Glitter a pedant. In a statement issued by its director of communications, Professor Brian Brain, he explains the dismay of t...

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Funny story: Tooth fairy suspended pending police checks

Tooth fairy suspended pending police checks

Children losing teeth will find no money under their pillows for many weeks as the government has ordered the tooth fairy to undergo police background checks before she can continue working with children. "Employees of all government funded organi...

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Funny story: Gary Glitter to remarry

Gary Glitter to remarry

Former glam-rock singer Gary Glitter, real name Pete O'Phile is set to remarry. Back from his recent world tour of Asian airports, the star, aged 78, is to marry his new fiancee, Daftasa Batt, a 16-year old waitress from the Dirteeolmen Bar in Phu...

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Funny story: Gary Glitter Performs A One-Nighter In Bangkok

Gary Glitter Performs A One-Nighter In Bangkok

Gary Glitter, the popular English musician and paedophile, has performed a spontaneous one-night show for airline staff, police and immigration officials at Bangkok Airport on his way back to the UK. Glitter, real name Shitter, told his captors th...

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Funny story: Vatican Stay Firm On Paedophile Ordination

Vatican Stay Firm On Paedophile Ordination

The Vatican has drafted new guidelines to reaffirm policy on paedophelia and keeping child molesters and "supporters of paedophile culture" out of the priesthood.

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